New and INSANE shinobi By Electra
by Asuka Rui Uchiha
Summary: Beware. This story is crawling with OC's and losing of the game. Nekos, mentally unstable brunettes me! , psychotic little sisters and a falcon who just got stuck with a group of crazies trying to help the Naruto gang are involved.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Arrival in the Leaf

'_The wind's blowing, my arm's bleeding, my legs feel like jell-o and my chakra's lower than ever,'_ I thought. I have never felt so tired in my life. I looked up and I saw what I was looking for, the high gate of the Leaf Village.

"Sakura, have you got any leads on Sasuke yet?"

"Sorry, I don't, Naruto."

_Who do those voices belong to? _I wondered. My vision suddenly blurred as I saw three figures up ahead. Everything went black.

*Dream*

"_Go on ahead, don't worry about me!" a boy with brown hair, chocolate eyes and pale skin pleaded. He was bleeding all over and his chakra was low._

"_No! I can't leave you in this condition! You're…you're going to die!" a girl with shiny, long brown hair, brown eyes and a well- toned body cried. _

"_Take Ryu with you and get out of here now!" the boy said. The girl turned away reluctantly and fled from the battle field with Ryu the falcon. 'That's me, and- and him and Ryu too. That's what happened' I looked down at myself…_

*Dream ends*

I woke up in a cold sweat and clutched the…blanket? I smelt a weird, yet sanitary scent. I looked around, I was in a hospital. I realized something. I looked down at my arm, it was completely healed as if that battle never happened, but it did happen. The door opened and a woman stepped in. I quickly noted features. _'Blonde hair in pigtails, red nail polish, purple diamond on her forehead… wait, what the?' _ The woman interrupted my thoughts.

"Hello there, my name is Tsunade. You took some rather serious damage in whatever battle you had," she replied. As soon as she said 'battle', I was sulking. After a moment, I talked.

"Hello Tsunade, my name is Electra, Electra Vesuvin, where am I?"

"You're in the hospital,"

"Well I know that! I meant what city am I in?"

"Why, you're in the Leaf Village,"

"Oh… wait! Did you see a falcon with me when you found me?"

"Yes, he's right over there,"

I looked towards the window and I saw Ryu sitting on a perch. I breathed out in relief.

"Are you here to request a mission?" Tsunade asked, "Though it must be pretty tough considering how much chakra you have."

"Sorry, but I'm not here for a mission request. I was on my way here to join the Leaf Village. You see, I came here from a distant country because group of friends and I were considered 'freaks' for having chakra and all. Unfortunately, I think I'm the only one who survived…" I don't know when I started crying, I didn't care. I wiped away my tears, and then my stomach growled. Tsunade grinned; she explained everything I needed to know about ninjas and the Leaf Village, including that she was the Hokage.

"Ask around to find your way to Ichiraku ramen, there's someone I want you to meet there…his name is Naruto Uzumaki," Tsunade finished. I left the hospital with tattered clothing and quickly purchased some new clothes and put them on in a bathroom.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip of thirty minutes in which I try to find Ichiraku's…**_

Eventually, I found Ichiraku ramen; I sat down on at the bar and ordered a pork ramen.

"You're not from around here, are you new?" a man asked. I nodded. The girl who seemed to be his daughter spoke.

"Then in that case, the meal's on us!" she said cheerfully. I was surprised but I nodded and said thanks. The aroma wafting from the bowl was irresistible! I slurped down a spoonful of noodles.

"Wow! This ramen is the best I've ever had! It's much better than the ramen back home!" I squealed.

"I know! Ichiraku ramen is the best ramen place in the universe!" a boy next to me exclaimed. I quickly studied his features, it's a habit.

"Oh thanks, Naruto!" the girl said. _'Naruto; so this is Naruto Uzumaki?' _

"So you're Naruto Uzumaki? Lady Tsunade sent me here to find you. I'm Electra Vesuvin," I said, extending my arm. Naruto took it and replied:

"So Granny Tsunade wants me to come and receive a message? No, that can't be right! So usually sends one of her jonin or something, and you don't even have a head band so you aren't a ninja," Naruto said. My eyes narrowed, but I controlled my anger.

"Actually, she wants to see you with me, a girl named Sakura and a man named Kakashi," I shot back. We left to find them. He led me to a pharmacy and a pink- haired girl was purchasing something, he pointed to her.

"That's Sakura, hey Sakura! Tsunade wants us to do something!" Naruto yelled, the pink hair girl whose name was apparently Sakura came over to us.

"Hi, Naruto; whose this?" she turned to me.

"I'm Electra Vesuvin, I'm new here," I replied. She nodded and we walked away. Sakura and Naruto continued to chat, but I couldn't hear what they were talking about. Suddenly, a white puff of smoke appeared in front of us. A man with an odd haircut, a mask and a Konoha head band stood before us. Naruto was taken back, but I stood there as if a strange person popping out of nowhere was normal _'Kakashi' _I thought. After a greeting we continued to walk.

_**Hey, guess what? Another time skip! This time, we go to the Hokage's office, exciting... **_

"This is some good news I have for you guys," Tsunade said, "With the exception of Electra of course. Anyways…" her eyes narrowed, "We have a lead on Sasuke." Sakura and Naruto's eyes widened. She gave us some details on the situation and turned to me. "I know you just got here, and you just got out of the hospital, but you're the only person we have available and you seem pretty strong, so I'm assigning you this mission," Tsunade told me. Her assistant, Shizune's eyes widened, so did the eyes of the pig Tonton, who was in her arms.

"But, Milady, she's not a ninja! She can't go on this mission," Shizune exclaimed, Tonton nodded his head in agreement. Tsunade pulled Shizune aside to talk to her. After a while they approached me and held out a Konoha head band.

"Electra, you are now a genin!" Tsunade announced. I tilted my head._ 'Don't you have to go to the Academy before becoming a genin?' _I accepted the forehead protector and tied it under my bangs.

"Dismissed!" Tsunade shouted. I left to an apartment Tsunade graciously gave me and changed.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which I go to my apartment. Not much else…**_

(A/N Okay, I KNOW you all hate descriptions of what people wear in fanfics, but just in case some one wanted to know. If you don't skip to the next black line…) I wore a mesh shirt and shorts that hugged my body. Over it I wore a short, plain, pink kimono with a full sleeve and half sleeve. I tied large purple ribbons over my upper arms and waist, attached a weapons bag full of…well, weapons I bought earlier around my waist. Finally, I slipped on my sandals tied my headband and headed out.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which I arrive at the bridge team 7 used to meet at...**_

I waited on a red bridge for the other three. Then I heard Naruto talking to Sakura. "Man! Why can't Sai come with us instead of her?" Naruto complained.

"That's because Sai's in the hospital remember? We beat him up for relying on books way to much," Sakura rolled her eyes. I approached them.

"What did you say about not wanting me to come?" I asked as if I didn't hear, I could feel the electricity gather around my hand. Naruto shuddered, as I lifted my hand, Sakura's eyes widened.

"I don't make me repeat my self!" I screamed… Naruto was now in the water with a large bruise. Sakura turned to me.

"How do you know how to use Chidori!?" Sakura yelled, accusingly. I shrugged, "I just kind of figured it out," I said. Sakura yelled again.

"That's Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke's move! How can you accidently figure out how to use a high power attack like that?!"

"I said I don't know! I was trying to create a new move and I discovered it!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!'

"Yo! What's up?"

"Stay out of it!" Sakura and I yelled. It was Kakashi, oops…

"You're late!" Naruto exclaimed climbing out of the water.

"You're in the water," Kakashi stated.

"And Naruto's a baka; would you like to add anything else before we're done stating the obvious?" I asked Sakura.

"Yeah I do! You stole Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke's move!" Kakashi shrugged and led us to the gate. We left and Sakura and I were still fighting.

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did what?" Naruto got clobbered, by me naturally. Kakashi stopped us and put his hands over our mouths. He put a finger to his mask where his mouth would be, I wonder what he looks like… I heard a rustling. Our mission, bring rogue ninja, Sasuke back to the Leaf Village, didn't seem too hard. Then again, I never met Sasuke.

"Hey, Electra, what kind of abilities can you use?" Naruto whispered.

"Watch," I said as soon as Kakashi-sensei let go. I quickly shape shifted into a dark pink snake and flicked my tongue. I transformed back and threw a kunai at some nearby bushes I heard metal against metal. Naruto gaped. A man came out of the bushes and attacked. We quickly dispersed, but Sakura was glued to the spot.

"Sasuke…" I heard Sakura mutter. _'So this is Sasuke? Why would they want this teme back in the village?'_ Sasuke snickered.

"What? Did Sai run away too and this is the best Tsunade could do to replace me? Konoha is falling apart without me. Better get rid of my replacement so then she doesn't interfere like the last one," Sasuke spat. That was it, I was already mad at Sakura, but this teme thought he could take me?

"Say that again to my face!" I screamed. I charged my chakra and I heard faint flapping overhead. _'Ryu, get ready.' _He flew down silently.

"Lightning wing jutsu!" I transferred my Chidori to Ryu's wing. Sasuke's eyes grew large as he was hit by the attack. I kicked him with a charged foot and punched him as hard as I could. I knew I was so fast, he probably didn't see me. I used one more attack.

"Electromagnetic charge jutsu!" I yelled as lightning escaped my body. He lay on the ground, partly knocked out. Ryu fluttered down and landed on my shoulder. I utilized my chakra to form a lightning charged sword. I held it down to his neck and leaned closer.

"Say. That. Again. To. My. Face," I hissed with my voice dripping with venom. The blade touched Sasuke's throat and gave him an electrical charge. I could feel him shivering under my gaze. Turns out he was "shivering" with excitement; he took and threw my sword into a bush. A large hand caught it and emerged from the bushes.

"Took you long enough guys," Sasuke said blankly. I was **seriously** annoyed. The man I identified as a Sound Nin threw my sword and it vanished into lightning.

"How dare you hit Sasuke-kun? I'm going to get you for that, with Sasuke-kun too!" A shrill voice said; it was the red-head, a fan girl.

"Oh really? Lightning clone jutsu!" Five lightning clones appeared around me. I turned back, "This would be the part where you guys jump in and help me!" I yelled at Naruto, Kakashi and Sakura. They all nodded and leaped onto the ground.

"Mass shadow clone jutsu!" Naruto yelled, and I thought one Naruto was enough, but 200? I'm going to go insane.

"Sakura, you take the red-head! Naruto, get Sasuke, Electra, you can handle the guy with black hair. That leaves me with the big guy, GO!" Kakashi ordered (A/N ugh, to lazy to make up names and descriptions…). Sasuke smirked, boy I hate that smirk already!

"You think that the newbie can take him? You must be stupid!" Sasuke smirked, _again!_ Before I knew it, Chidori was connecting with Sasuke's skin; he flew back a couple hundred feet.

"Hey! I'm supposed to take Sasuke!" Naruto whined, I nodded and head towards my opponent. And guess what? '_HE SMIRKED TOO! THIS MUST BE LIKE THE SMIRK CLUB OR SOMETHING!!!'_ I laughed; it wasn't a funny laugh, more like evil, like Sasuke. He suddenly seemed really ticked.

"What's so funny?!" he asked. I grinned, this made the black haired man angrier, I knew this would happen, I wanted it to happen. I looked him in the eye, he shivered…of fright…

"Are you using some kind of genjutsu?!" he yelled, I smirked. _'Wow, a lot of smirking going on here…'_

"One guess…" I replied with a venom filled voice. I could feel him shaking, and I _wasn't_ using a genjutsu. I knew what was happening, _she_ was coming out.

"This is going to be fun…" My hair turned black and yellow and blue streaks appeared, my eyes turned electric blue.

"You won't survive this encounter…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Oops! Forgot the disclaimer on the last chapter! In case you didn't know, I'm NOT Bella-Lily-Cullen. No, I'm her friend who wrote this fanfic. I shall be known as Electra because the main character's personality is based on mine. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be writing this now, would I? **

Chapter 2

To Each Their Own Battle

(sorry, I suck at fight scenes…)

Sakura POV

"Cha! Eat this!" I hit the ground, but I grazed her. She fell into a hole and got stuck. I picked up a boulder and held in my hand and walked to the girl. I dropped the boulder on her. _'It's a clone, what a joke, that was so obvious' _

"Now that your clone is gone, come out!" I shouted. She didn't come out. I tried to sense her chakra, but she was well hidden.

"Well, I tried to be nice, but… DIE!!" I screamed and I sent a chakra filled blast through out the forest. I knew that everyone else within a 100 meter radius probably felt that. I saw the weak kunoichi trapped in the debris and punch her hard, but hard enough to set her free.

"Yep, not a clone, now I can kill you," I jumped back I sent a flurry of paper swirling around the she- devil.

"What are you doing?!" she asked. I smiled and attached a paper bomb to one of my kunai.

"You're not going to kill me because I and Sasuke-kun are meant to be together! You're the ugly ***** who's going to die!" the red-head screamed.

Paper was still flying around, so I approached. I leaned down to speak to her face to face and made sure my voice was full of venom.

"Pathetic fan girls like you have _no_ chance to even attract Sasuke's attention," I stated viciously, but girls like her don't back down.

"How would you know _anything _about Sasuke-_kun_?" the kunoichi asked.

"How do I know? Because _Sasuke _used to be on _my _team and _I __used__ to love him!_" I explained. I jumped back again and took my kunai one more time.

"Sakura blizzard, enjoy…" I responded. She was blown to bits and I walked away. _'One down, three to go,' _I walked away from the battlefield.

Kakashi POV

The man I fought was very large and strong. At first glance, you would think him slow and fat. In reality, his "fat" was actually muscle and he was very fast. I revealed my Sharingan and cast a genjutsu. The man immediately stopped and fell to his knees. He writhed in pain, clutching his head. He tried to concentrate. His shaky hands made the sign to release himself from the genjutsu. He lifted himself up and charged at me with incredible speed. The ninja brandished a kunai menacingly.

I quickly flipped over him and held my own kunai against his neck. As I slit his throat, he vanished into smoke, a log in his place.

"A replacement jutsu?" I scanned the area quickly, I spotted him behind a tree.

"Grand fireball jutsu!" The tree was burnt to a crisp and I could see the exposed back of the Sound Nin. The flesh on his back was badly burnt. I made the signs of the ox, hare and monkey.

"Chidori!" I ran my hand through his back, the ninja fell before me and died.

Electra POV

"Geez! And I didn't even get to use my powers to their full extent! This guy was worthless," "Scary Me" said. I returned to normal and, realizing what I had done, put my hands in a praying position and bowed.

"Gomen…" I left the fallen shinobi on the ground…dead. I continued to walk until I reached Sasuke and Naruto's battle field. Strangely enough, they were fighting (note the sarcasm). Sasuke was rushing towards Naruto, who was badly hurt, with his Chidori in play.

I started towards Sasuke then broke into a dash because Sasuke was transforming into some kind of monster! His skin turned gray and a black cross took shape in the middle of his face and claw like appendages sprouted from his shoulder blades. His hair grew and turned gray. He charged for Naruto and Kakashi who had just come to aid Naruto. Sakura was also running towards them.

"Chidori!" Sasuke and I yelled at the same moment, my Chidori was (for reasons unknown to everyone but me…) considerably stronger than Sasuke's, so it threw him back. I helped the almost victim's of Sasuke's Chidori.

"How did you defeat the Sound Nin? Where is he?" Sasuke asked. I glanced over towards our battle field. Sasuke tried to get out from the trunk he was crushed under. Sakura lifted the tree with ease and ordered us to tie him up.

"Lightning lasso jutsu," I said and a stream of electricity snaked out of my palm to bind Sasuke. I sat down in front of Sasuke and smirked.

"What do you think of the 'newbie' now, Sasuke?" I asked, "By the way…all you're teammates …are dead." Sasuke looked amazed. Maybe because the "replacement" defeated his teammate without a single injury, let alone a scratch. Or maybe it was the fact that I had him tied up on my first mission. It was probably both, I turned to Kakashi.

"What are we going to do with the corpses?" I asked. He seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"We'll take all of them to Konoha and bury the corpses."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I said to Sasuke whom was struggling to get out. He got a nasty electrical shock.

"I tried to warn you," I shrugged. I hoisted him onto my back and with a wave of Naruto's hand; we headed back to the Leaf Village.

"I told you I'd bring you back Sasuke," Naruto told him.

**This is a short chapter. Here's the deal, I want one review, so I know that people are actually reading this. The more reviews, the longer the chapter will be. Arigato!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the third chapter! Yay! Thank you to **_**Go Electra!**_** For being the ONLY person to review this story! If you reviewed this story after this chapter was published, I'd like to thank you to! This is a pretty short chapter because I only had one reviewer…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All I own is Electra and Ryu the falcon… **

Chapter 3

Konoha's Youthful Devil

"Hey guys! You brought Sasuke back?" Izumo asked. Kotetsu grinned,

"No, I think it was mainly the new girl, Izumo. You better report to Lady Hokage." I smiled and left with Sasuke still mounted on my back. The Rogue Nin growled at the two guards.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which we go back to Lady Tsunade's office…**_

"So you managed to bring Sasuke back? Good job, I almost forgot, the chunin exams are coming soon," Tsunade said. I untied Sasuke, "I think you, Electra and Sasuke should join." We left the Hokage building.

"SAKURA- CHAN! I YOUTHFULLY MISSED YOU!" a goofy looking boy with shiny, bowl-cut and large eyebrows raced towards us. I took a step back; maybe I didn't want to be run over, or maybe it was the spandex he was wearing.

"RUN!" Sasuke, yes my faithful readers, you read right, Sasuke yelled. We all rushed away, but the spandex wearing ninja caught up to us.

"Sakura-chan! I so youthfully missed you! Would you like to go on a youthful date? I hope you will youthfully accept. If you don't I will youthfully cry. So please, youthful Sakura, come on a youthful date with Konoha's youthfully, handsome devil!" the "youthful Konoha devil" begged. Sasuke looked annoyed, his eye was twitchy.

"How do you youthfully cry?" I asked, one, because I didn't want Sakura going out with this psycho, so I was buying her some time, and two, I really wanted to know.

"Oh, hello, youthful stranger, I am the youthful Rock Lee," Lee said, he held out his hand, I shook it.

"I'm Electra Vesuvin," I responded. He was starting to creep me out already, because he said youthful or youthfully or youth in every sentence as if his life depended on it. I took Sakura's hand and pulled her away.

"Who is that guy? He's creeping me out!" I whispered to Sakura.

"He is Rock Lee; his teammates are saner than him, their sensei, not so much. They're probably around here somewhere too…"

"SAKURA-CHAN?! ELECTRA-CHAN?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Rock Lee screamed in a way that made me feel like a lost dog.

"Oh no, he's not drunk, is he?"

'_We better come out or everyone else will be deaf'_

"We're over here Lee!" I called. Everyone came and so did three new comers. One was like a larger version of Lee; another was a boy with long hair and a girl with buns. The girl stepped forward and held out her hand.

"Hi, you must be Electra. I'm Tenten, this is Neji, and Guy-sensei," she introduced me to her teammates; she seemed to have a soft spot for Neji. I grinned; she _did_ have a soft spot for her long- haired teammate. Neji had a soft spot for Tenten too, I know these things.

"Tell me, youthful Electra, do you youthfully like youthful curry?" I'm pretty sure you know who said that.

"Yes Lee, I do like curry. Do you know what else I like?" I said through gritted teeth. Lee cocked his head and cinched his bushy eyebrows together.

"Uh…is it youthful toothpaste?" Lee asked.

_**Behold! A look inside Electra Vesuvin's mind! Bwahaha…ha…ha…ha?**_

_Youthful…_

_Youthful…_

_Youthful…_

_Toothpaste…_

_Toothpaste…_

_Is it…?_

_Is it…?_

_Youthful…_

_Youthful…_

_Youthful…_

_Youthful…_

_Again…_

_Again…_

_Again…_

_Applesauce…_

_Cheese…_

_Honey…_

_Global warming…_

_Goldfish…_

_Is- wait! What the heck am I thinking about?_

_**Whew…We actually made it out alive! Three cheers everybody! Yay! Yay! Yay!**_

My temper flared.

"No, it's people who don't say 'youthful' in every darn sentence!" I yelled, and I charged, Kakashi and Guy caught me by the arms.

"Now Kakashi, you've got yourself a youthfully, fiery one here," Guy-sensei laughed. My eyes were narrowed.

"You too?!" I yelled, I spun on my heel and landed a kick on his chin, Lee's round eyes widened (If that's even possible…). He charged at me, yelling.

"No one hits the youthful Guy-sensei for no youthful reason!" Lee shouted.

"Youthful leaf whirlwind!" I twisted my body sideways and turned into a house cat. I hissed at him and scratched his spandex to pieces…1 minute later. I was licking my paw proudly and transformed into my original self. I smiled innocently and walked away.

"So girls, want to come over to my place?" I asked. They nodded and followed. I could feel the boys staring at my back as if I were crazy. I kind of was… Why? I'm not crazy because I'm insane, that's why. Don't worry (my-not-so-faithful-readers-who-aren't-faithful-because-they-won't-review-because-apparently-my-story-is-just-that-bad-and-what-am-I-doing?) the insanity will come in later chapters…cue the maniacal laughter! WELL ANYWAYS! Back to the story…

"Hang on, I'm going to get all the other girls," Sakura said, she ran off.

"Okay, I either really scare her, or I'm considered her friend and she wants me to meet her other friends," I said to Tenten. She smiled.

"I bet it's both," she said. We continued to walk, and walk…and walk... and walk… and walk. Finally, Sakura, a timid-looking girl, and a platinum blonde appeared.

"Hey, Electra, meet Hinata and Ino," Sakura gestured to the two girls. A gust of wind blew, a girl with four buns and a large fan stood in front of us.

"Hey, Ino, have you seen Shikamaru?" she asked. She turned to me.

"Oh, who's this?" she questioned.

"She's Electra," Tenten answered for me. "We were just on our way to her house, want to come?" the girl nodded, "By the way, she's Temari,"

We were going down a busy street and a group of boys walked up to us. One was with a large dog; another pretty much covered every part of his body and freaked me out.

Another was reading a book whose pages had more color than he did, the book's cover read, 'How to Make an Acquaintance'. There was one with a spiky ponytail; one with a bag of chips, he was fat, but I wasn't about to tell him. There was also a puppet master and one who had a large gourd on his back.

"Who's you're new friend Temari?" The puppet master asked. The one with the dog leaned towards me.

"Yeah, she's kind of cute," he said.

"Electra, this is Kiba, Shino, Sai, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kankuro and Gaara," Temari said. I remained emotionless and stared at Kiba a Kankuro intensely.

"Back off," I hissed. They slowly took steps back and shivered. I turned and walked towards my house. When we turned the corner, I burst into laughter. The girls looked at me confused.

"Did you see the look on their faces? Golden!" I exhaled.

"Th-hat was a q-quick change in p-personality," Hinata stuttered. I shrugged.

"Kind of a, uh, split personality," I responded.

"Oh," the girls said.

**Give reviews to the less fortunate, like me! Don't worry, more insanity from our favorite (not-so-favorite?) kunoichi Electra will be coming soon! Once again, thanks to **_**Go Electra!**_** For reviewing! Arigato!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, I got bored of waiting for reviews, so…voila! The next chapter! First of all…there is A LOT of OOC for Sasuke. Yup, Uchihas crying and emotional outbursts…scary, I know. Oh yeah! I also deleted a 'Truth or Dare' chapter, and a fight scene against Tenten. So basically, we played truth or dare, me and Tenten got in a fight, I beat her, and I walk away…Well, here it is!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own! I only own Electra and Ryu! I most definitely do not own Naruto, Kelly Clarkson or 'Behind these Hazel Eyes'!**

Chapter 4

She doesn't love you anymore, Uchiha

_READ MEMO!!!_

_'Jeez! Can't a girl be left alone when she wants to?' _I asked myself. I went to a training ground with Sasuke trailing behind me. I turned on my heel and shouted.

"Want do you want Sasuke?!"

"For a genin, you're fighting at chunin level,"

"That's why we are taking the chunin exams. It'll be just like last time you took it, without Sakura of course. Isn't that right Dobe?" I called to Naruto who was "secretly" concealed in a tree. I shooed him away.

"I want to tell Sasuke something privately," I said to his questioning face.

"You sure you just don't want to swoon over him?" Naruto grinned.

"I have enough dignity to not do that," I said punching him away. "Now Sasuke, I know emotions and you are troubled. Is it the fan girl thing since you're back and all?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"How do you know about that?"

"Naruto implied it and Tsunade told me. I might be new, but I know more about this village than you do. You don't have to worry about fan girls because they all got over you once they found out what a teme you were. Ino is interested in Sai and Sakura is over you." I stated knowingly.

"Really? I thought had had an undying love for me," He argued sarcastically

"Maybe she does, but at this moment, it's sealed."

"Hn."

"Words Sasuke," I rolled my eyes. I could tell he was hurting inside. He could tell that I could tell. I could tell that he could tell that I could tell, confusing, isn't it?

"Face it. She doesn't love you anymore Uchiha," I confided. He stood there, still as a statue, cold as ice. I think I'm one of the only people to see that ice melt. To see Sasuke Uchiha cry.

I walked home. (A/N I don't care if you don't like Kelly Clarkson, I just put this song in because it matches Sasuke and Sakura's relationship)

_Here I am, once again, I'm torn into pieces!_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend!_

_Just thought you were the one._

_Broken up, deep inside,_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry!_

_Behind these hazel eyes!_

_Swallow me then spit me out,_

_For hating you I blame myself,_

_Seeing you, it kills me now…_

_No I don't cry on the outside,_

_Anymore!_

The song played softly, but as clear as a bell. I wandered, wondering where the music was coming from. I came to a house, small, but a house nonetheless. I looked through a window and saw the girl singing to the song.

_Knock, Knock!_ I waited at the door patiently. I heard the music stop and footsteps. A girl opened the door. At that moment, it started raining.

"Oh! Electra, come on in!" Sakura ushered me inside and brought me to her room. After getting comfortable, she spoke.

"What are you doing here, you should be at home." I nodded. It was getting late, but in less than one minute, it was a torrential rain, it was ten minutes to get to my house from here. That meant if I were to continue, I'd be in the rain for nine minutes, enough time for me to catch cold, miss the chunin exams, and ruin the chance for Sasuke and Naruto and myself to catch up to everyone else.

"I heard you playing 'Behind these hazel eyes' by Kelly Clarkson a while ago. I didn't know you even heard of her," I addressed. She nodded and turned on her stereo. We were in the modern age, but the village being secluded and all; I didn't expect any of this.

_Seems like just yesterday, _

_You were a part of me,_

_I used to stand so tall,_

_I used to be so strong,_

_Your arms around me tight,_

_Everything just felt so right,_

_Unbreakable, _

_Like nothing could go wrong,_

_No, I can't breath,_

_No, I can't sleep,_

_I'm barely hanging on…_

_Here I am, once again,_

_I'm torn into pieces, _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend,_

_Just thought you were the one,_

_Broken up, deep inside,_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry,_

_Behind these hazel eyes,_

_I told you everything, _

_Opened up and let you in,_

_You made me feel all right,_

_For once in my life,_

_Now all that's left of me, _

_Is what I pretend to be,_

_So together, but so broken up inside,_

'_Cause, I can't breath,_

_No, I can't sleep,_

_I'm barely hanging on…_

_Here I am, once again,_

_I'm torn into pieces, _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend,_

_Just thought you were the one,_

_Broken up, deep inside,_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry,_

_Behind these hazel eyes,_

_Swallow me then spit me out,_

_For hating you I blame myself,_

_Seeing you it kills me now,_

_No I don't cry, on the outside,_

_Anymore!_

_Anymore…_

_Here I am, once again, _

_I'm torn into pieces, _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend,_

_Just thought you were the one,_

_Broken up, deep inside,_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry,_

_Behind these hazel eyes!_

_Here I am, once again, _

_I'm torn into pieces, _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend,_

_Just thought you were the one,_

_Broken up, deep inside,_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry,_

_Behind these hazel eyes…_

"It fits you, the song I mean," I told Sakura. She raised an eyebrow. "You and Sasuke, this song fits your guy's relationship." _Drip, drip, plop, plop._ We sat and listened to the rain.

"Would you mind if I stayed here for the night?" I asked. Sakura nodded and led me to the guest room. I looked out the window._ 'I wonder if Sasuke is still out in the rain, crying.'_

I made a hand sign and closed my eyes. My abilities allowed me to see things through my "spirit animal's eyes", Ryu's eyes. He flew around Konoha, searching for Sasuke. When Ryu found Sasuke, I could see that he was still sobbing. I released the technique and Ryu flew to an open window. He skillfully closed the window and sat on the perch I made him. Ryu shook his body to rid himself of the water.

"Sakura, have you ever seen Sasuke cry?" I asked her. She looked at me as if I had grown two heads. She nodded; Sakura told me the story of their first attempt at the chunin exams, in the forest of death, when they met Orochimaru. Sakura told me of the bell exercise with Kakashi, when he told her. She told me when Sasuke Uchiha cried.

**Ahhh! The OOC is scaring me too! Thank you for reading and please review! The little button is under-used! C'mon! anyone can review, even if you don't have an account! I'm desperate! You could just say 'Hi' or 'You suck! Stop writing!' ANYTHING!!! If you do, I will give you a cookie! If you don't, I WILL SEND OROCHIMARU AFTER YOU WHEN HE IS DRUNK!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, in case you didn't catch it in the second chapter, I am NOT Bella-Lily-Cullen. I'm her random friend who was offered a chance to publish my story. I was informed by Bella-Lily-Cullen, that someone reviewed two chapters, but then the reviews got erased. Thank you to whoever review/will review. I appreciate it. **

**I also had a couple chapters cut here too; this was supposed to be Chapter 7. Luckily, it was all just fillers. Oh yeah, if you really like this story and continue to read it, you might want to keep this in your history. This will most likely be a long-running story.**

**One last thing before the disclaimer, ideas are accepted all will probably be used. As a result, the genre will start to change from time to time. Be sure to remember the 10 apocalypse signs and look out for them…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Electra in this story. Naruto and friends belong to a Japanese dude. **

Chapter 5

Chunin exams: part one

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip of one month in which I get to know everyone…**_

"We're at the chunin exams! Dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed. I resisted the urge to punch him. _'Resist, I must resist the urge! Urge. Too. Strong!!!'_ I thought quietly, my face twisting with discontent. I let into the urge and punched Naruto…hard. He fell to the floor and wailed.

"Electra-chan, that really hurt!!" I grimaced.

"Just be quiet," I said.

"Dobe,"

"Teme,"

"Dobe,"

"TEME!!" _'Twitchy eye?! Oh no! Not the twitchy eye!' _BAM! Maybe it wasn't the best idea to hit your teammates on the head before the chunin exams, but it was a good idea at the time. I ended up dragging them to the correct room, which took a while, considering that there were…1, 2, 3… a LOT of fake ones made by genjutsus.

I opened the door and saw a LOT of people staring at me. I sat the two shinobi against a wall and waited…and waited…and waited. A squad of 3 came running up to me, they each had a forehead protector with a star engraved in the middle. I heard Naruto stirring and he woke up. Standing groggily, he looked at the group of ninja and a smile appeared on his face.

"Sumaru, ne? Mizura and Hokuto too? It's been a while since I've seen you!" Naruto made conversation with them and pretty soon they were rambling on and on about people I didn't know. I cleared my throat and kicked Sasuke awake. Naruto and his friends FINALLY realized I was there and introduced Sasuke and I.

I found out they were ninja from the Star Village in the Land of Bears that Naruto had met a few years back. Suddenly, Ibiki, the torture expert appeared and told us to go to our assigned seats. After explaining the many rules of the WRITTEN exam, he let us start.

'_Man! This is not good! Naruto is going to make us fail!' _I later understood. We were **supposed** to cheat. I made a lightning barrier around my feet; I used my lightning clone jutsu. The smoke that would usually appear was trapped inside the barrier. I had my clone transform using my kekki genkai into a bright pink spider. Yeah, better make it noticeable. I sent it to Sasuke, he tried to flick it away, but my clone danced across his paper.

Sasuke had his Sharingan activated and noticed that the spider spelled 'Electra'. After a while, my clone managed to spell 'How are we going to get the answers to Naruto?' He shrugged. My clone disappeared, leaving only a spark of barely noticeable electricity. The knowledge came to me at that very moment.

I knew about the last question, but if we got that wrong…I had another clone of mine go out transformed as a spider. It landed on Naruto's paper. As soon as he saw it, he tried to swat it away.

He finally got it, leaving a spark of electricity. He flinched and then FINALLY realized something. In my clone's frantic race, it left pink webs revealing the answers. Naruto under stood and wrote the answers down.

In 20 more minutes, Ibiki said that our time was up and it was time for the last question. He really put on the pressure, he explained MORE rules!

"On the back of your paper, you will write down your answer. You will have one minute to complete this. All unfinished answers will be rejected. If you are caught cheating, you will be dismissed immediately," Ibiki said, taking a dramatic pause.

"Only one person will be able to answer this question, we want as little candidates as possible, so will be taking the most brain-dead people."

"Which means we're relying on you…" I whispered to Naruto.

"Finally, if that person fails to answer the question, the whole team will be rejected and can not participate until next year, same goes for those who quit," the torture expert finished.

"You know, he's going easier on us than he did last time," Naruto said.

"Or maybe he just admires you and Sasuke," I reasoned. "Or maybe he hates our guts, having us lean on you…" I whispered to Sasuke after Naruto was out of ear shot.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which Naruto answers the chikushou question…**_

When he came out, he had an upset face on.

'_Oh no! Knuckle head ninja with no energy?! It's one of the ten signs of the apocalypse! Next we'll see Sakura with normal colored hair, Ino flirting with Chouji, Tenten with her hair down, Hinata not stuttering or fainting or blushing around Naruto. Not to mention Sasuke crying…oh wait that already happened… Oh no! It's closer than I thought! Whatever you do, don't let Neji wear pink, Shikamaru train with Guy and Lee, Guy and Lee NOT wear their spandex of their own free will and worst of all…DON'T LET SHINO TAKE OFF HIS GLASSES AND LAUGH AT THE SAME TIME!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!'_

The look of panic was obviously on my face. I ran up to Naruto and grabbed him by the collar and lifted him off the ground.

"Naruto! You didn't fail us did you!?" I cried.

"No! I swear I didn't! Just put me down!" Naruto pleaded.

"Then what happened in there?! You looked really stressed a moment ago!"

"It's just that…" he gulped "Anko is the proctor again…" I dropped him on the floor. I took a deep breath, for a while, Sasuke and Naruto thought I had calmed down. Man were they wrong…

"NANI?! YOU DID ALL THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED OF THE PROCTOR?!" I wacked him upside the head. I exhaled, smiled and shrugged.

"I'm done now!" I declared a bit too girlishly.

**Ok, the usual, review and drunken Orochimarus will not be sent after you. You will also receive an invisible and intangible kunai signed by me! Yay! If not…hehehe… **


	6. Chapter 6

**Next chapter…woohoo…I'm sad…no one reviews…I'm tired of waiting for reviews…are my stories really that bad…? I wonder what BBQ sauce is made of…Hope you enjoy…**

**Disclaimer: Me: Hi, since I feel emo inside and I don't really feel like doing it myself, I hired Sasuke Uchiha…**

**Sasuke: Electra does not own Naruto; she only owns a bag of candy, Electra Vesuvin and Ryu. If she did own Naruto, I wouldn't be doing this right now. **

**Me: Good Sasuke. Now as a prize you can cut your wrists or kill Itachi.**

**Sasuke: I'll kill Itachi!**

**Me: Well, to bad! You'll get to do that in a different chapter!**

**Sasuke:…**

**Me: Here's a dull kunai! Have fun!**

Chapter 6

Chunin exams: part 2

"Yo everyone! Looks like the candidates this year aren't as good, there's only a handful of them left," Anko pouted. "At this rate, there'll be no one left for the third round, no butt kicking!"

After signing a contract, we started the second part of the exams. After Anko's countdown, we started off.

"Ok guys, what's our game plan?" I asked. The boys looked at each other intently.

"We pick a fight, we may be genin, but we're strong," Sasuke said. We started off, I called Ryu and he located a group of rain shinobi with a heaven scroll, we had the earth scroll. So when Ryu returned, he led us to the shinobi. When we arrived at their location, it was approximately 12:00 AM. Midnight.

"Hey, we know you're there, show yourselves!" a feminine voice called. We stepped out of the bushes, the rain shinobi grinned.

"Hey, Akito, we got a bunch of leaf shinobi on our hands, let's get them," a husky man said to the woman, who seemed to be the leader.

"Okay, either way, whether they have an earth scroll or heaven scroll, we win. If it's a heaven scroll, there's less competitors, if there's an earth scroll, we have our set."

"Works for us, you just told us you have a heaven scroll."

"Shut up and fight! Demonic water jutsu!" the skinny man yelled. Slightly blackish water shot out of the man's mouth and headed towards us. Sasuke and I performed the exact same hand signs at record speed.

"Double Chidori!" We shouted, our hands sliced through the water and hit the skinny man. I back flipped over the man and landed by his head. He was unconscious and I searched him, nothing.

"He doesn't have the scroll! Try the other two!" I announced. Sasuke and Naruto attacked the larger man and I sprinted towards the woman.

"Now you see me…now you don't…" Akito whispered. She disappeared into mist and that mist wrapped around my neck.

"Kai!" I yelled. "Genjutsu of that level is pathetic." Akito grimaced and charged at me. I flipped behind her and jabbed her on the spine. I spun on my toe and kicked her on the cheekbone. Akito fell to the ground and coughed up blood.

"Kuso…" she muttered. I pulled out a kunai. "How? I can't move…"

"I ejected chakra into your spinal cord, paralyzing you, lightning natured chakra," I whispered into her ear. I slit her throat and searched her corpse for the scroll.

"Guys! I got it!" I yelled. Naruto stabbed the gruff man in the gut and ran over to me, Sasuke at his heels.

"Dattebayo! We got a heaven scroll!" Naruto yelled.

"You moron! We still have to get to the center of the forest; ninja will be there to get our scrolls!" I scolded.

"She's right, it will take at most two days to get there and there will be other competing genin on the way," Sasuke informed like the know it all he is. Then I realized he was using words with more than one syllable. We nodded at each other and took to the trees.

"Here's the plan, once we get within a ten kilometer radius we start scanning the area for genin and eliminating them. On the way, we only fight if necessary," Sasuke explained.

"Now aren't we in the mood to kill?" I asked sarcastically.

"Shut it."

On the way, we ran into some minor trouble, I never saw the star genin group we met at the beginning of the exams. We were now in a ten kilometer radius. I anxiously watched Sasuke scan the area for genin. Sensing none, he frowned.

"Like I said, a mood to kill," I skipped to the next branch and turned. "Chicken butt!? You coming or not!?" I shouted. He nodded and jumped towards me and Naruto. I looked at a clearing near us.

I saw a large tree with an opening in its roots. There was a giant lump of dirt in the middle. A battlefield, not a recent one, more like a battle that happened about 3 years ago. The battlefield Sakura told me about one night. The one when Sasuke first used his curse mark…

"So that's why?" I asked Sasuke when we were taking a break. Naruto was out of earshot so I could talk to Sasuke.

"What are you talking about?"

"Good job, Sasuke! You know two-syllable words now!"

"Hn."

"Now, back when we were at the ten kilometer point. I think I know why you stopped."

"Hn."

"And to think you were using two-syllable words ten seconds ago!"

"Hn."

"Well anyways, Sakura told me. That night when I told you she didn't love you anymore? Three years ago when you took the exams. She told me that you lost control of the curse mark, and that she saved you from it. Just by hugging you. That's where it happened, isn't it? I'm positive that you have feelings for Haruno. Even you have feelings." _'Oh, yeah, I'm good.'_

"I do no love her!"

"Geez! And still managing the whole single syllable thing!" I shook my head.

"You'll realize it sooner or later Sasuke, but for now, I'll let you doubt it." I got up to leave.

"C'mon guys! We're almost there!"

"Okay Naruto! We're coming!" I dragged Sasuke by the arm until he ripped his arm out of my grip.

"Touchy!"

Now we are FINALLY at the center of this godforsaken forest. I pushed open the doors and saw a large paper on the wall with writing on it.

"Hand over the scrolls, Electra," Sasuke demanded. I self-consciously did it and he threw the scrolls on the floor. Smoke began to rise and Kakashi appeared reading his *cough*perverted*cough* book.

"Yo," He said after closing his book. I glared at him, he pointed to the white sheet of paper.

"Read it, Sasuke and Naruto will explain," he said before disappearing. After the guys explained the writing, we entered a room with a no other teams.

**Akito is not important! Please review! I'll post chapters more often! PLEASE!?! Come on! I'm already on chapter 10+ right now! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay! This is my favorite chapter so far!!! Mostly because of that dream…by the way, that is a real dream that I had and I still remember it so clearly…One of those few dreams I can actually remember. This is a short chapter because NOBODY IS REVIEWING, and I'm so nice that I'm posting this anyways.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I won't have to worry about not getting any reviews. No, I would have to worry about getting the next chapter/episode out in time. I own only a bottle of water, Electra and Ryu…**

Chapter 7

Take a Break? Yeah Right…

'_Ugh, morning already?' _I thought groggily. I pushed open the blinds and stared at the trees. (A/N Oh no, more clothes descriptions! Skip to the next sentence of you don't care at all!) I dressed into a plain, yellow shirt and denim Bermuda shorts. I walked outside.

'_Okay, let's review… We entered a room. We waited. Only the Sumaru's team came. Anko told us it was the end of the exam. Naruto sighed. I punched Naruto in the face. We were told that the next exam was in 3 months.'_

"And here I am now…" I said to…um…no one? After walking around aimlessly, I came to a dense forest. I walked around in it.

"Why are you here?" a monotone voice asked. I whipped around, it was Shikamaru.

"I don't know. I kind of just wandered here…" I answered.

"This is a forest that belongs to my clan; no one else really comes here."

"Then in that case, I'll be going home."

"Wait, I have a problem and I know you can help," Shikamaru said while gesturing to a fallen log.

"I know you are trying to make the other ninja fall for each other. I can't decide between Ino and Temari," he confided. (sorry for the OOC!)

"Okay, I promise to get some inside info and report back to you. Meet me back here in a 3 months, ok?" I patted him on the back and transformed into a bird and flew away. _'You got to love Ikimono!'_ I thought. (A/N Ikimono is the name of her kekki genkai, it means animal) I walked to the gates of Konoha, I sensed Tsunade behind me.

"Yes, Milady?" I questioned politely.

"I have a mission for you."

"Hai."_ 'So much for taking a break, huh Tsunade?'_

_**Another time skip I which I go to the Hokage's office…who else is tired of time skips?**_

"I have received information on a girl who has been roaming around the border of the Earth Country. Reports show that she has a large chakra capacity. I want you to go and investigate. I'm sending you on this mission with Shikamaru, who will be the leader. You leave at sundown, dismissed!" Tsunade explained. I nodded and left to my apartment.

I had a picture of the girl, but I planned to look at it when I got to the border. I packed my things and ate lunch. I spent the rest of my time training; I ate a quick dinner and rushed to the gates.

"You're late Electra!" Shikamaru called.

"Yeah, by one minute!" I argued. We left the gates and entered the dense forest. I transformed into a light pink horse. Shikamaru got the message and jumped on. I galloped at three times the speed of a normal horse.

Okay, I will now explain my kekki genkai. So basically, at birth, we get a random color that later will probably become our favorite color. We can transform into any non-extinct, real animal. Meaning no dragons, T-rexes or unicorns. We cannot talk in our animal form, but we get three times the power of a normal animal. Our color is a basic one, such as pink, purple, blue, orange etc. So we can change the hue of the color at anytime. Oh, and Ryu has nothing to do with my kekki genkai, though it does allow me to talk to animals.

We made camp and rested for a while. I quickly fell asleep while two of my clones kept watch.

_**Completely random dream that has nothing to do with the story but provides humor…**_

_"Hey Mommy! Look, I got salt from my field trip!" a random little boy shouted to his random mother. A pile of random salt lay in a random blue velvet rag held carefully in the boy's hands. A random man popped out of nowhere and put his hand over his chin._

_"Salt? That's not good…" The random man rushed to a random, large platform and found a random mountain of salt in a random dense forest on the platform. He randomly started digging. With a bunch of other sane people, I watched the random man dig. I got a random bad feeling and shouted._

_"Duck!" I randomly yelled. The other random people got on their knees and ducked. A powerful random wind rushed over the platform that would have sliced off the head of any random person who didn't duck. _

_A random ugly red-brown western dragon rose out of the mountain of salt and roared. It flew out and left a random, pretty, blue dragon in the burrow. The random blue dragon rose groggily and climbed out of the salt. I randomly turned into "Scary me"_ (A/N "Scary me" is referring to her alter ego that killed a Sound Nin. You will learn about her in later chapters)

_I jumped up and told the random crowd to leave and hide. I jumped/flew around the platform trying to lose the random, ugly dragon on my tail. Every once in a while, I would randomly jump onto the platform but pop right out before I even touched the ground. I encountered the random blue dragon and the random man who was digging. The digger man randomly turned into a mage and told me that the blue dragon was on our side._

_I nodded when he told me to evacuate the random city…there was no city… Randomly, a city popped out of nowhere. I went around the city and put people in a random energy bubble/force field. I brought them to a random apartment building and told them to hide in the random, (large) closet. _

_I walked out and the random blue dragon, which had shrunk, was inside. A random DDR system randomly popped out of nowhere and we started playing a random song. We randomly played 'Hysteria' and I aced/totally won it. I randomly teleported out and saw the big, ugly dragon. I jumped up and randomly charged my electrical punch. _

'_Five inches away…two inches…one centimeter… half a centimeter!'_

_**End of completely random dream that has nothing to do with the story but…yeah…**_

I woke up right before I killed that dragon…kuso… It was still very early and Shikamaru was still asleep.

**Yes, that's it. Deal with it. Reviews plus hits equals longer chapters. I also need inspiration. This takes place in the anime, so important events will be interwoven with this story…slightly…I think…if it's possible…yeah…**

**This button is under used and dusty, press it!!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**WOW!!! I actually got reviews!!! YAY!!! Thank you to the following reviewers!!!**

**Btw, all of these don't have any accounts yet!**

**Cynthia**

**Yoshie**

**Go Electra!**

**Thanks sooo much. I was starting to lose faith in my abilities, but thanks again!**

**To Cynthia: "Hai" means "yes" in Japanese. Don't worry, it took me a while to figure it out. And I don't really know why, but Sasuke tends to say 'hn' a lot and use one syllable words just as much…**

**Disclaimer: I'm so poor that I don't even own Asuka! Asuka is owned by Bella-Lily-Cullen, who is not me. I don't own Naruto either. I own only Electra and Ryu, I drank all the water and ate all the candy…**

Chapter 8

Enter Asuka!

After a while of studying my surroundings, Shikamaru FINALLY woke up. We packed up and left, this time in the trees. We took off and soon we came to Border Town. We picked up some food and left quickly.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which Shikamaru and I have to travel to the border.**_

"The girl we're looking for was last spotted near Iwagakure, we will stop in Amegakure to rest," Shikamaru told me as we neared the border of the Rain Village.

"Tsunade told me that Akatsuki's base of operations was located here. If Akatsuki is supposed to be so dangerous (note the sarcasm), why didn't we go through Kusagakure?" I asked.

"Well, The Land of Grass is supposed to be less pleasant than our own village. It also happens to be that we aren't on friendly terms with the Grass Nin. It's so troublesome."

"Well, isn't that nice, be on bad terms with our neighbors…" I noted. We continued to travel through the Land of Rain without encountering anybody dressed in black cloaks with red clouds.

We were just getting close to the border and then, we saw it. Two Akatsuki members, they were walking towards us, apparently not seeing us. They seemed to be holding something. I instinctively pulled out the picture of our target, except, it wasn't there.

"Ah! Shikamaru! I lost the picture of the girl!" I exclaimed. He sighed.

"Don't worry; I studied the picture, she's got straight, bluish-black hair that goes down to her mid-back. She's also got gold eyes and pale skin," Shikamaru described. _'No, it couldn't be her…could it?' _The two members stopped in front of us.

"Move, un," one of the Akatsuki said to us. They pushed me aside. The speaker's partner, however, looked at us.

"Deidara-senpai! These are Konoha shinobi! Tobi thinks one of them is the one who got rid of Hidan!" said the other one. The one identified as Deidara turned around and looked at us.

"Then in that case, how about we avenge our fellow Akatsuki members, un." Deidara suggested. The said ninja removed the straw hat and beckoned for Tobi to come with their left hand. In the other hand, was the girl we were looking for.

"Asuka…" I whispered. Shikamaru turned to me.

"You know her?" He asked. I didn't answer, I stepped forward.

"Shikamaru, stay out of this unless things get bad. This fight is mine!" I demanded. I leapt forward and pounded Deidara on the head with a flaming fist.

"Ember explosion jutsu!" I blasted embers at Tobi and I made a sign.

"Lightning clone jutsu!" I made three clones. Deidara reached into a bag, and with odd mouth/hands swallowed a pound or so of clay. I raised an eyebrow and charged again. I ran quickly and delivered multiple kicks and punches to Deidara; I back flipped and made more hand signs.

"Plasma pulse jut-"I was cut off by Tobi running around in circles on fire. He bumped into me and stopped for a brief moment.

"Tobi's a good boy!" He exclaimed. I clobbered him on the head.

"What the? What's going on?" a weak voice called.

"Asuka, would you care to join me? I got to beat these idiots!" I called to her. One of my clones let her down and disappeared. What else did you think I used the clones for?

"Mind if I join?" Shikamaru asked. I nodded.

"Sure, the more the merrier, right?" Asuka responded. Deidara laughed.

"No matter how many of you there are, I'll beat you all! Un!" The Rock Nin boasted.

"Oh shut it, Girly," I waved Deidara off and Asuka giggled. "Huh? What's so funny?"

"Well, you see Electra, Deidara is-"

"I'm not a girl, un!" The newly-found-to-actually-be-a-guy-not-a-girl yelled. Silence, dead silence, unless you want to include the person who is on fire *cough*Tobi*cough*. And…then…I…laughed.

"Holy shizz! (Laugh)You're a guy?! If I wanted to (giggle) believe that I (chuckle) couldn't! You should really consider (snicker) cutting your hair, you know that! You honestly (deep breath) look like Ino's twin, huh (uncontrollable, evil laughter) Shikamaru?!" I exclaimed nudging Shikamaru with my elbow.

Deidara was growing redder by the second, and this isn't because he's blushing or because he had a fever; for all the not-so-smart people out there…

"Hit the deck!" Tobi called. Even though he wasn't on our team, Shikamaru told us to do what he said. We quickly ducked.

"Katsu!" Deidara yelled; a large bomb went off.

"Combo, Asuka?" I asked. She nodded. I made several hand signs and carefully made my charka into a dense ball about the size of a basketball and combined our jutsus.

"Plasma pulse jutsu!"

"Katon: karyuu endan!"

Asuka released a stream of fire shaped like a dragon towards both Tobi and Deidara while I injected the chakra ball into it. The dragon breathed out my chakra ball and then hit the Akatsuki members head on. When the smoke cleared, they were gone.

"Kuso, what was that about?" I asked Asuka.

"I don't know, they said something about recruitment."

"Akatsuki was trying to get you to join their organization," Shikamaru pondered.

**Okay that's all, this is actually Bella-Lily-Cullen's fave chapter because of the "Deidara-isn't-a-girl" thing. Big thanks to Cynthia, Yoshie and Go Electra! I wish I could give you a million dollars and a sneak peek at the next chapter…Oh wait! I can give you that last one! **

A thunderous roar erupted from the audience, most of them cheering for Sumaru, seeing as Sasuke was still considered a traitor. Most of the Konoha 15 and their teachers cheered for him. Lee was crying out…

"FIGHT FOR THE POWER OF YOUTH!" Yeah, that…

**Remember to review! Please?**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter is dedicated to my seven reviews and Chibi Fox-chan; my first person-with-an-account to review! This is also dedicated to everyone else who reviewed/will review! My first big fight scene! Sorry that it's really short, but Sasuke is supposed to be almighty and stuff so…**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Asuka. They belong to a Japanese person who's name I can't remember and Bella-Lily-Cullen! I own only Electra-chan and Ryu-kun!**

Chapter 9

Chunin Exams: Part 3

Sasuke vs. Sumaru!

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which I prepare for the exam and ignore Asuka…**_

"Look, you can come and watch, but you can't interfere!" I yelled.

"Awwww! But I wanted to do some butt kicking!" Asuka complained. I rolled my eyes at her. I tried to explain one more time.

"You'll have your chance in 3 months. Just train with me for now, okay?" Asuka FINALLY consented and put on her ninja gear.

The final rounds were tomorrow and I spent too much time arguing with Naruto, Kiba, Ino, Sai, Lee, Neji, Tenten, Asuka…well, you get the point. I've grown to be close friends with Sakura and Shikamaru, only because I gave Shikamaru the dirt on Temari and Ino.

Every once in a while, I would train with Shikamaru, he'd try to catch me with his shadow (which he had yet to do) while I dodged (which I was pretty good at). Normally, I would train with Shikamaru, but since he was the tour guide for Temari today, I had to train with my old friend.

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which Asuka and I spar and then I meet Naruto…**_

"So, Sasuke, you want to join us?" I asked him as Naruto and I passed him.

"Yeah, can't let you be late again!" Naruto stated.

"He was late? Oh, tell me!" I asked Sasuke being like Kakashi sparked my interest.

"Oh, you should have been there! He was supposed to go second, but he ended up going last, he was so late, it was like, 20 minutes after the his match that he actually came!" Naruto elaborated with his hand and I giggled.

"Shut up, Dobe," Sasuke replied, keeping his cool.

"Amazing that he can keep up the whole one syllable thing, huh?" I asked Naruto, who nodded in agreement.

We entered the arena for the chunin exams together and found our places in the 'waiting balcony' as Naruto called them. The match ups were Sasuke vs. Sumaru, Naruto vs. Mizura and Hokuto vs. me.

As Sasuke was getting up to leave, Sumaru glared at him. I shrugged and grinned. The two shinobi left the balcony and entered the battle arena. A thunderous roar erupted from the audience, most of them cheering for Sumaru, seeing as Sasuke was still considered a traitor. Most of the Konoha 15 and their teachers cheered for him. Lee was crying out…

"FIGHT FOR THE POWER OF YOUTH!" Yeah, that… Sasuke ignored him. I watched, Sasuke was supposed to have trained under Orochimaru, so I wanted to see how strong he was compared to Asuka and me. I wasn't positive even though I fought against him once. (A/N still sucks at fight scenes…)

Sasuke slowly and menacingly pulled out his Sword of Kusanagi. Sumaru quickly got into stance.

"You may begin!" the proctor, Genma, shouted. Once again, the crowd hollered with delight. At lightning fast speed Sasuke practically teleported behind Sumaru. Sumaru just barely landed an uppercut to Sasuke's jaw. A puff of flames replaced Sasuke, a fire clone. Sumaru looked right, left, behind, in front and above. Just then, Sasuke reached out of the ground and pulled Sumaru by his leg.

"Headhunter jutsu." Sasuke said, just barely above a whisper. Sumaru was pulled into the ground and his head was left up above ground. Sasuke, now above ground, stood over him. The crowd roared out if disappointment, apparently, they still liked Sumaru better…

Sumaru used an earth style jutsu to melt into the ground. Sasuke made the signs for Chidori Current. He stuck his hand into the ground and waves of electricity wove its way through the ground and Sumaru quickly jumped from his hiding spot. Sasuke threw Chidori charged senbon at the Star genin. Sumaru bounced off a tree and drew a kunai knife.

He caught Sasuke's stomach with his knee and the crowd whooped. Sumaru threw a punch, but then Sasuke caught his arm and twisted it so Sumaru was on his knees with one arm behind his back. The trapped ninja summoned enough chakra to fuse with the ground just as the Sannin's apprentice brought down his sword. Sumaru quickly jumped out again to avoid another Chidori current.

The Star Nin charged at Sasuke and missed a left hook. Smoothly avoiding a swift jab, Sasuke Uchiha used his Sharingan to trap Sumaru in a genjutsu. Having a sharp eye, he managed to escape the genjutsu. Unfortunately for him, as soon as he escaped, Sasuke delivered a quick and strong blow to Sumaru's stomach.

"Stop!" Genma announced. "Sumaru can no longer fight! Medic!" Medical ninjas, including Sakura came his way. As Sumaru was rushed to emergency care, Sasuke retreated to the balcony. On the tournament board, Sasuke's name was moved upwards. Then, I noticed something. The finals were a three-way-fight.

**Sorry, I ran out of ideas and stuff, the next few will also be short, gomen! (1)I feel really bad, so on Valentines Day, I'll try to crank out a special! Wish me luck!!!**

**Japanese**

**1 – sorry!**

**Sneak Peek at chapter 10!**

_Flashback! Whoosh!_

_Asuka and I were doing a training exercise with Kakashi-sensei. Get two bells before noon. Easy enough right? Wrong, that's right, wrong. Two genin against a possibly Kage-level ninja was NOT fair, no matter how powerful Asuka and I were. Asuka had slipped up…_

**Review please!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay peoples, I'm gonna be cranking out chapters for a bit, I'm trying to finish the chunin exams and get in a special Valentines Day special! So the usual, read and review!**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto…That's why I'm sad. I own Electra and Ryu, but not Asuka, Bella-Lily-Cullen owns her.**

Chapter 10

Chunin Exams Part 3

Naruto vs. Mizura!

Naruto practically ran down to the battle field as his fight was announced. Mizura took his time. Naruto was pumped and ready to fight. Mizura assumed a "Sasuke-like" composure. Naruto made quite a show that made people doubt that he could really kill and Akatsuki member. Mizura received attention as a true and "Un-Naruto-like" shinobi. Naruto…well, you get the idea.

When Genma let them fight, they just stood there for a while; analyzing each other's stance. Finally, after a couple minutes, they charged for each other. Naruto threw a well aimed punch at Mizura's stomach and he doubled over. The Konoha shinobi made a shadow clone and created Rasengan. Just as Naruto was about to blast Mizura in the chest, the said ninja flipped behind Naruto and performed a strong sweep kick. He fell to the ground and got a face full of dirt. Mizura created a fire jutsu.

"Flaming ar-"An Uzumaki barrage pounded Mizura before he could fire the jutsu- if you'll excuse the pun-letting the real Naruto out. At least I _think_ it was the real Naruto…

One of the random Narutos did an uppercut to Mizura's jaw. The Star Nin then repeatedly pounded all the shadow clones. Once the real Naruto was revealed, Mizura lunged. Faking a side thrusting kick, Naruto got around Mizura's strong defense and tackled him to the ground.

"Rasengan!"

"Flaming arrows jutsu!"

The flaming arrows flew towards Naruto. He captured the arrows in his Rasengan, the chakra spun with the flames. While I knew that Rasengan was powerful, I didn't know the extent of power a flaming Rasengan held. As Naruto crashed his jutsu against Mizura's chest, the crowd gasped. They were completely stunned and amazed at how the 'Number-one-knuckle-head-ninja' turned his enemy's jutsu against him. A week's worth of Kakashi-sensei's lessons came to mind…

_Flashback! Whoosh!_

_Asuka and I were doing a training exercise with Kakashi-sensei. Get two bells before noon. Easy enough right? Wrong, that's right, wrong. Two genin against a possibly Kage-level ninja was NOT fair, no matter how powerful Asuka and I were. Asuka had slipped up…_

_"Katon: karyuu endan!" the dragon spewed from Asuka's mouth and raced towards Kakashi-sensei. He made multiple hand signs; I was only able to catch the signs of the bird and the dragon. He activated a wind style jutsu. The name of his attack was lost in the roar of the wind and the cackles of the fire. The fire dragon was turned around and flew towards Asuka. Even though fire was supposed to be stronger than wind element, Kakashi's attack worked. _

"_Think before using a jutsu, otherwise your opponent might use it against you." I summoned up enough chakra to save her butt and get us out of there alive…_

_End Flashback! Whoosh!_

I remembered that Naruto was there when he said that. He really wasn't as dumb as I thought he was…ha! Yeah right!

"'Think before using a jutsu, otherwise your opponent might use it against you'" I whispered.

Mizura crashed into one of the sides of the battle arena. He gasped and took deep breaths. He clutched his chest where a burn and a small imprint of Rasengan rest.

Mizura stood up, steadying himself against the wall. Naruto ran forward again, this time wearing an offensive stance. He struck Mizura in the face, then in the gut. The Star Nin put up a weak defense, crossing his arms and protecting his torso. Naruto then went for his knee. Mizura's knees buckled and he fell. He coughed up a little bit of blood and inhaled sharply. He weakly made the hand seals for a fire ball jutsu. He shot the blast quickly and precisely. Though it did no good when Naruto jumped out of the way and struck Mizura on his back.

Mizura slowly stood up.

"I give up!" he coughed. "I've only got enough chakra to last me for a few more seconds." Genma motioned for the medics to retrieve the almost crippled Star Nin. At this rate, if I was able to defeat Hokuto, I would be able to fight my own teammates and possibly become a chunin. Yahoo!!!

**Review and you will be spared. Don't and you shan't be spared…Shan't is a funny word…So, I have a question, should the story be continued in first person, or would you like it better in third person?**

**This button is lonely and underused.**

**Press it and I will be happy!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I came up with this chapter while running a mile at school! Forgive me if it sucks. It's hard to be inspired at school without friends… Well, anyways, it's kinda confusing, so try to read very carefully. Okay! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, everything would be crappily drawn and Sasuke's hair wouldn't be shaped like a chicken's you-know-what…**

Chapter 11

Chunin Exams: Part 3

Electra vs. Hokuto!

"Let the match begin!" and just like that we were off. No time for squaring off…just jump into battle. She drew a kunai and I mirrored her movements. Soon, you could hear the clang of metal throughout the stadium. We both jumped back and regained our balance.

"Exploding Water Shockwave Jutsu!" Hokuto shouted. There were little platforms raised everywhere so Hokuto could move.

"You know, you're only giving me the advantage," I said playfully. I dived into the water and used Ikimono to transform into a dolphin. I swam around Hokuto's platform, continuously splashing water on her. When I jumped out, I made a mocking face, and you could actually see Hokuto's face turn red. She blasted water at me but missed. I made clones and directed them to follow suit. Hokuto was confused and annoyed, blasting water at all the clones.

'_Transform into a tuna? Check._

_Transform back? Check._

_Mocking face? Check._

_Transform into salmon? Check._

_Repeat 1 – 4 with different animals? Check._

_Done everything but this one on the check list? Check.'_

I jumped onto the rock, while my clones continued their game, occasionally shooting a spark or two of electricity or fire. I went for a high kick with my right leg at her head, but she ducked. Hokuto tried her hand at a sweep kick. I lifted my left leg and brought down my right. I landed my heel on her back. She collapsed slightly and winced when I brought down my left leg.

I retreated and let one of my clones take my place. This pattern continued for a while longer, Hokuto getting weaker every second we fought.

Hokuto finally lost it.

"Water style! Water bullet jutsu!" Hokuto hit one of my clones, she turned into lightning. The electricity flowed throughout the lake and onto the platforms. I released the technique and a whole flood of electricity flowed. Most of which headed towards Hokuto. The area around her burst with light and static, most of the spectators covered their eyes, along with me. When the electricity faded, Hokuto crumpled to the ground.

"Whoa, did not see that coming…" I laughed. Too bad I didn't see Hokuto struggling to get up and glare at me. And it's really bad I didn't see the incoming punch…Oh well…I was hit head on in my laughing fit (which tends to happen…a lot…) and I was thrown back. I landed in the water and transformed into a squid. I swam around at a rapid speed and jumped up into the air. I meant to transform back, but Hokuto blasted one of my tentacles off with a water bullet. Thanks to my kekki genkai, I swiftly started to regenerate the lost limb. I could practically hear all the little girly girls going 'Ewwww' at the sight. But thirteen years ago, I probably would've done the same. I decided that continuing was pointless.

"Okay, time to end this…" I said. Flexing my hands and getting into a crouching stance I readied myself.

"You under-estimate me, Electra," Hokuto said as mockingly as possible. I smirked.

"Oh no, I never under-estimate my opponents, I only over-estimate myself, but that won't happen this time.

"Right…" Hokuto started making hand seals; I flexed my right hand and faced it towards the ground.

She made the hand signs of the ox, monkey, hare, rat and boar; and continued on at a slow pace. I poured all my chakra across my body. We continued and soon, my body started pulsing blue, and if you looked closely, you could see chakra running through my chakra network. Soon, we were ready.

"Water style: Water Dragon Jutsu!"

"Flaming Lightning Pulse Jutsu!"

I ran across the water, and a yellow lightning bolt formed in my outstretched palm, and blue flames trailed behind, and formed around me. A dragon rose out of the lake and I continued to charge. I blasted through the dragon with my jutsu and the blue flames became interwoven with my lightning bolt. Hokuto was paralyzed and stood frozen. I was about to hit.

Suddenly, I felt an arm on my own and I couldn't move; I was completely frozen. Genma held onto my arm and Shikamaru's Shadow Possession Jutsu had caught me.

"Gotcha."

"So you did," I replied to Shikamaru. He lowered my hand and I released the technique. I glanced at Hokuto; her knees were trembling and she collapsed to the ground, medics came right away.

**The Shikamaru 'Gotcha' thing is referring to the part in one of the earlier chapters. We would train together and he would try to catch me while in dodged. Yeah…And the part that goes**

I was hit head on in my laughing fit (which tends to happen…a lot…)

**Means that I have laughing fits a lot. I don't get hit on the head when I do it. All my friends are too scared to do it.**

**Review and this button will not bite off your head tonight…Just kidding!**

**But seriously, review…**


	12. Chapter 12

**Remember I'm in a rush, so go easy on me! Here's my first three way battle, so I tried to include everyone. Remember, should this story be continued in first person, or should I switch to third person?**

**Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue. We're all happy…I guess not because of those reasons…**

Chapter 12

Naruto vs. Sasuke vs. Electra!

"Oh, I really want all of them to win, but I don't know who to youthfully cheer for."

"Oh Lee…Cheer for all of them!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!" Okay…How did that sun set get there? Seriously, how?

As my opponents stepped forward, I took a deep breath. We all readied ourselves. I closed my eyes; I could practically hear the crowd on the edge of their seats.

"You may begin." My eyes shot open and they scanned the area around me. Neither of them was in front, to the right, left, behind or above me. Below? Let's try it. I haven't perfect chakra control like Sakura, but I could get to them…Eventually.

"Electromagnetic Charge Jutsu!" I pressed my hands to the ground and the electricity flowed through the ground in pulsating waves. Ground collapsed and 2 feet under the ground, Sasuke and Naruto sat, meters away from me on opposite sides.

"Rasengan!"

"Chidori!"

"Plasma Pulse Jutsu!" A collision of lightning, fire and chakra swirled around the three of us. Sasuke's lightning whipped around my legs, while mine avoided my body. My own flames licked at my arms and burnt my skin. Naruto's chakra beat at my body. The elements vanished and we landed, the boys having experienced similar injuries.

We all charged, this time drawing weapons. Naruto drew a kunai from his sleeve, Sasuke his Kusanagi, and I formed my Lightning Blade** (1)**, we all met in the center of the arena. My blade pulsed with lightning and blew the others away momentarily. Sasuke attempted to run his blade through Naruto, so I took the opportunity to strike. I changed the shape of my katana into a cutlass and tried at Sasuke's stomach. He turned and a back flipped over me. Naruto's kunai was at my chest and Sasuke's blade at my throat.

"You thought you could sneak up on me?" Sasuke whispered; I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"A girl can dream, can't she?" I whispered before disappearing into smoke. Did I mention that that was a lightning clone? Sasuke activated Sharingan and examined the area. He saw me in a tree.

"Shoot…"I murmured and transformed into an eagle. I flew and circled above the arena. Sasuke produced and tossed lightning enhanced senbon at me while Naruto did the same with shuriken to both of us.

"Electromagnetic Charge Jutsu!" I transformed back and started freefalling towards the ground. Naruto and Sasuke instinctively looked up and covered their eyes from the sun. The lightning pulsed and electrocuted my unfortunate adversaries. I made hand seals.

"Fire style: Flamethrower Jutsu!" The stream of infernos cushioned my landing and scorched the two shinobi.

"Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!" Naruto and I dodged the incoming blaze, but it scorched us a little.

"U-zu-ma-ki! Uzumaki Barrage!" Sasuke and I were battered by Naruto's shadow clones. The fight viciously continued, each of us taking a turn at beating up the other two. Years of ballet, jazz and karate lessons flooded into my head. The hours spent at home trying to incorporate the beautiful dance moves into the fierce karate moves were swept along with it. My own graceful fighting style. I applied it to all of my movements, even landing a few hits every minute or so. I, in turn, was also relentlessly was thrashed by the Sannins' apprentices.

"Chidori Sharp Spear!" lightning impaled Naruto's side, although it had a different effect on me…

"Why won't it hurt you!?" Sasuke was obviously upset. The weapon disappeared every time it came near me.

"Remember when we used our techniques at the same time?"

_Flashback! Whoosh!_

"_Rasengan!"_

_"Chidori!"_

_"Plasma Pulse Jutsu!" A collision of lightning, fire and chakra swirled around the three of us. Sasuke's lightning whipped around my legs, while mine avoided my body. My own flames licked at my arms and burnt my skin. Naruto's chakra beat at my body. The elements vanished and we landed, the boys having experienced similar injuries._

_End Flashback! Whoosh!_

"And look at my legs now," I instructed. My legs were spotless and completely fine, no lightning marks whatsoever. "I have a…ability…that prevents electricity from hurting me. Any lightning natured attacks won't work on me at all"

"Then in that case, Fire style: Dragon Fire Jutsu!" The flame rampaged on and started coming close.

"Fire style: Charred Barrier Jutsu!" A billowing cloud of ash emerged from my mouth and formed around me. The flames roared past, but Naruto got in and grazed my bare arm with a couple of shuriken.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, no doing _that_ to me Naruto," I said, wagging my finger. "Fire style: Flamethrower Jutsu!" I kindled the ash and flames burst around us in a spherical shape.

"So I can't get out…" I nodded at Naruto, "And Sasuke can't get in…"

"Correct…here's your prize!" I drew my Lightning Blade and slashed at his body, only ending up slicing the top off a kunai. Our skirmish continued, but the flames burned down.

**"Let me take over from here, you rest" **a gentle voice called **"I'll make sure I don't kill them, and I'll keep on a transformation so they don't suspect anything…"**

_'Okay, be careful…' _I blanked out.

**1=the blade Electra creates from lightning. It can change shape and form, but can disappear if it's not in Electra's possession for a period of time. **

**Ugh, I ran out of ideas so I ended with that. Sorry if that was abrupt, but I can't do very good cliffhangers…Well, review please! Even to just say hi, or something… OKAY!!! Sneak peek time! Yay!**

"**We all discussed the matter, and we have selected those who become Chunin. Though, we didn't agree on…a certain person…" The Kages' eyes were all on me.**

"**Erm…Okay…Could we all stop staring at the genin in pink?" I asked timidly. Tsunade spoke.**

"**The participants who will become chunin are…" **


	13. Chapter 13

**Made up at school, written after school on Friday the thirteenth…So this probably won't be as good…Well anyways, try to enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own and this is already getting boring…**

Chapter 13

Chunin or Not?

When I "woke up" again I was in the hospital room on a bed with the other contestants in beds around me.

**"You owe me for winning, ya know."**

_'I won? And I can't pay you back if you are me…'_

**"Well, we tied, but if I hadn't taken over, you would've lost 'cause of…you know…"**

I ended my internal conversation and laid back. Sakura came in through the door.

"The Kages would like to see you." Sasuke looked at her and she glared back. Sakura turned on her heel and left. We followed her to the Hokage tower.

All the Kages stood in Tsunade's office, two on either side of the Hokage. Sakura and Shizune joined them. The Tsuchikage stepped forward.

"We all discussed the matter, and we have selected those who become Chunin. Though, we didn't agree on…a certain person…" The Kages' eyes were all on me.

"Erm…Okay…Could we all stop staring at the genin in pink?" I asked timidly. Tsunade spoke.

"The participants who will become chunin are…"

"Hold on just a second! Shouldn't we make this more dramatic?" The Raikage asked. Cue the anime sweat drops!

"Well, if we must…" the Tsuchikage stood up. "Sumaru, you possess incredible taijutsu skills and seem to have perfect chakra control. You also have effective evasive skills. I would suggest becoming a medical nin while training to become Tsuchikage." He handed Sumaru a chunin vest. The new chunin stepped back. The Tsuchikage spoke once more.

"Mizura." The said nin stepped up. "You have a horrible defense but amazing offense and can use fire jutsu efficiently and know when to give up. Congratulations, you pass." The action with Sumaru was repeated.

"Hokuto, You have a large chakra capacity and amazing use of water style and pretty much every type of ninjutsu. Your power and taijutsu are…acceptable, but you let fear and anger get to you." Hokuto also got a chunin vest. Tsunade took the Tsuchikage's place.

"Sasuke, your speed is beyond incredible, as well as your strength and defense. If I dare say it, Orochimaru taught you well. Although…"Insert the Uchiha glare here "you often underestimate your opponents, if you didn't, you might've been able to defeat Naruto and Electra…" Tsunade wasn't going to have a pleasant time with me anymore…Me? Weaker than that teme? Humph. So Sasuke became a chunin? I will soon too.

"Naruto, Jiraya also taught you well, and your Rasengan has improved. Your use of Shadow clones has improved as well as not being as…tactless…But, your lack of ninjutsu could be trouble for the future." He also received a vest.

"Electra, your ninjutsu, taijutsu and use of weapons is extremely impressive. But genjutsu could help you as well as…not using all your chakra at once."

"**What the heck? We never used all our chakra at once!"**

'_They just don't know you exist…yet…'_

"But if your use in ninjustu and taijutsu weren't so astounding, you wouldn't have made it." I received a vest. We all left, but Sasuke and Tsunade remained. I transformed into a fly and reentered the room.

"Tsunade, I had my Sharingan activated during the battle and I could still see that Electra had a sufficient amount of chakra left until the end of her battles." Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "I also noticed when her flame shield died away; a new type of chakra took her place."

"But, all that jutsus! And – and –"

"I know, I don't really understand it either, but we should keep an eye on her…"

_**Tis' here there'd be a time skip in which I go back home and get ready for Valentines...**_

_'I better get ready and put matchmaking to the test…'_ I pulled out multiple cards and started writing.

**Please just review, that's all I ask. Just click a button, type 'hi' and click another button, how easy…time for the sneak peek.**

"**From your secret admirer?" Sasuke turned to me. "I thought you said no one likes me anymore?"**

"**Hmm…I thought so too…" I saw Asuka. "Oh, sorry Sasuke! Gotta go!" and then the only thing running through my mind was **_**'Thank goodness for acting skills!'**_

**Right here! It won't bite!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Valentines Day Special! I typed this all day, so give me credit! This is a Special, so it's long. It was 6 pages on word, so it should be long…There's quite a bit of Japanese so I added a key, just in case, at the bottom! Love is in the air, and I feel like throwing up! Read and review! I'm gonna barf now!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Asuka: Okaaay…so anyways, Electra and Ryu belong to Electra, I belong to who is now Asuka Rui Uchiha. Not Bella-Lily-Cullen anymore…And Naruto and friends belong to a Japanese person!**

Chapter 14

New and INSANE Shinobi Special!

Valentine's Day!

Electra's First Move!

"You sure this is gonna work?"

"Yes, this _always_ works, and them being ninjas will make it only easier…"

"You _positive_?"

"Cmon, have at least _a little_ faith in my abilities?"

"Okay, I trust yo– "

"Shh! Someone's coming."

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"Wow! What a beautiful day!"

"Hai, Asuka, perfect for you-know-what!"

"Valentines Day?"

"No…but that too…" We joined up with the Konoha 13**(1)**.

"Konichiwa** (2)** everyone! Happy Valentines Day!" We announced happily. I handed out all my gifts to everyone. I gave myself a whole bunch if candy.

"You give yourself Valentines Day presents?" Tenten asked.

"Well…Yeah, I mean, wouldn't you want more than just that?" I asked, gesturing to the pile of candy and cards she had gotten from all of us. "Wouldn't want _this_?" I motioned to the mountain of candy next to me.

I left. Sasuke's and apartment was on the way to mine, so we ended up walking with each other, much to our distaste.

Sasuke was looking through his Valentines…a very un-Sasuke-like thing to do…

"'From your secret admirer'?" Sasuke turned to me. "I thought you said no one likes me anymore?"

"Hmm…I thought so too…" I saw Asuka. "Oh, sorry Sasuke! Gotta go!" and then the only thing running through my mind was _'Thank goodness for acting skills!'_

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"So it's actually working?"

"Told ya so."

"Shut up."

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_**In other places…**_

"Hmmm…Valentines from…"

Sakura/Naruto/Sai/Kakashi/Hinata/Kiba/Shino/Ino/Shikamaru/Chouji/Neji/Tenten/Lee/ Guy: "YOUR SECRET ADMIRER?!"

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"Did you hear something?"

"Yep, it's working."

"Perfect."

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"Hey guys!" I walked into Ichiraku's carrying a bag of candy and happily munching on it. "Was' up!? Any interesting Valentines?"

"Well, I got a secret admirer card," Shino answered.

"You too!?" Tenten asked, "But _Shino_ of all people!"  
"And what's that supposed to mean?" _'Note to self: Don't make Shino angry…'_

"I got a secret admirer too!" Everyone else exclaimed.

"Are you serious?! _All_ of you guys got secret admirers (save Kunernai) and I didn't?!" I shouted exasperated.

"Shhh! There are other customers here you know!" Ayame whispered.

"Gomen…"

"Hmmm…I wonder why…I mean, once you get past the aggressiveness, mood swings, randomness, lack of support, shortness, and empty-mindedness–"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!? It's not like _you_ got any cards like that too!" We continued bickering and eventually, everyone else left.

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"That was way too easy."

"I know; you'd expect something more…challenging…"

"Let's continue this phase of the plan."

"Hai."

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"Ne, **(3)** Sasuke, can I see that secret admirer card again?" I asked. I took the card. "Hmmm…A cherry blossom? Why put that on a Valentine's card?"

"Do you think it cou–"

"No way it's Sakura! Sasuke, we all know she hates you!" The bluish lines that appear on anime when the person finds out something disappointing poofed around Sasuke.

"Hmmm…That's very unusual…" I pulled out the longest line and hit Sasuke with it like I was playing baseball. "Don't just stand around here like a baka! **(4) **Get out there and win your girl!" I felt a gust of wind. "Ne, where'd Sasuke go?"

-

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"That went well…"

"That was funny!"

"…"

"Uhh…you still awake?"

"Huh? What? Oh…I spaced out…"

"I will never understand you…"

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_**In Asuka's point of view 'cause we're all tired of Electra…**_

"Konichiwa, Sakura-san! Where's that Valentines Day Card? The one from your secret admirer!" I marched into the room.

"Oh, it's…somewhere in that pile…" I started searching in the pile. "Here it is!" I developed the card.

"Hmmm…that's odd…" Sakura said, staring over my shoulder.

"What?"

"This," She pointed to a graphic "It's a picture of a tomato…that's not very romantic…"

"Hmmm…If I recall…Sasuke likes tomatoes…"  
"Yeah, but he's to full of Uchiha pride to send anybody a good Valentines! I mean, look! Here's the one he gave me!" Sakura produced a piece of paper. It was ripped off of lined paper and was written in pencil.

" 'Happy Valentines Day, Sakura. From, Sasuke'" I read. "At least the hand writing is nice…"

"Not even a 'Love, Sasuke' or 'Be mine' like they do in elementary school!" Sakura continued to rant.

'_Why'd you leave me with Sakura, Electra?!'_

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"Geez, thanks…"

"Your welcome!"

"You know I'm being sarcastic?"

"Yup!"

"Sugar, right?"

"Yup!"

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_**Asuka didn't quite work out, so we're back to Electra's point of view!**_

"Yo, Naruto! Can I see that Valentines Day Card?! I think I know who it's from!"

"Oh, really!? Here!" I took the card from his hands.

" 'Be mine, Valentine!'" It showed a fox, obviously Naruto and a cute, dark blue bunny. "Hmmm…dark blue…assuming everyone's straight, who has dark blue…?"

"Hmmm…Not me, Sai, I'll assume Sasuke's not gay, Sakura…maybe Hinata…not Shino, Kiba; Ino wears purple, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Neji, Tenten and not Asuka either…"

"It's Hinata!?"

"Baka! Let's be reasonable! Hinata's shy, has a low self-esteem and has Byakugan!''

"What's Byakungan got to do with this?"

"Nothing, I just ran out of ideas."

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"Smooth, real smooth…"  
"I know right!?"

"I'm leaving before you get anymore hyper…"

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_**Asuka again! Notice a pattern?**_

"Hey Hinata! Let me see your secret admirer's card! I bet you hope it's _someone_…"

"O-oh! H-hello, Asuka-san. H-here's the…um…card…" I took the card and reread it quickly.

"Interesting…Did you notice this?" I pointed to a transparent cup of ramen printed on the card. Hinata suddenly turned red.

"N-no, c-could…could it b-be? N-Naruto-kun…"

"Hinata's gotta boyfriend! Hinata's gotta boyfriend!" I sang teasingly.

"A-Asuka-san!" Hinata gasped. The Hyuga fainted.

-

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"I think you went a little too far with that one…"

"She just fainted, nothing more."

"Come to think of it, you're right!"

"When will the sugar rush end!?"

-

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_**Electra-chan is back! Run and hide!**_

"Konichwa, Neji-kun! Hiashi-sama!" I greeted the two Hyugas.

"You know you can't just intrude on my train–" Neji started.

"Lighten up Neji! Who wants to train on a day full of love, and romance, and…Okay, I just wanna puke now…" I held my arms to stomach for added effect. "I actually came to ask and see your secret admi–" Neji clapped his hand over my mouth and sweat dropped.

"A secret admirer? Interesting, very interesting Neji…" Hiashi walked away. I heard him saying things like 'wife' and 'grand-nephews/nieces' and I sweat dropped.

"Sooo… 'bout that card!" Neji led me to his room and gave me the card. I looked around and saw green spandex pinned to the wall with shuriken and kunai.

"Murderous much?" I opened the card. "Hey Neji, why is there a panda printed in the card?"

"How should I know? I didn't– Wait, doesn't…" Neji trailed off.

"…Tenten…" I understood.

-

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"Why do you get all the easy jobs?!"

"I'm the boss, you're the assistant. That's how it works."

"No fair!"

"Life isn't fair."

-

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_**Asuka-chan is back! Duck and cover!**_

I headed to Tenten's house and knocked.

"Hai? Oh, Asuka come in!"

"Ne, where's your secret admirer's card?"

"Geez, you don't beat around the bush…" she handed me the card.

"Hmmm…that's a really nice design on the card…it kinda looks like…the Hyuga's curse mark"

"Come to think of it, it really does…"

"It must be from a Hyuga! Like…"

"If your going to say Neji; don't, you're wrong."

"But, he's the only Hyuga who _really_ knows you!" Insert continued bickering here.

-

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"They're at quadroon 2 sector A, let's kill two birds with one stone. I'll take them."

"Finally…"

-

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_**Electra's here and ready to rock!**_

"Yo! How's it going?!" I asked, entering the Yamanka shop.

"We're good. Looking for anything in particular, Electra?"

"Yeah, red roses, for someone special. Speaking of which, can I see your guys' secret admirers' cards?" I asked, while eyeing a yellow-pink rose.

Ino led me to the red roses and Temari pulled out the cards.

"Wow, your admirers' have similar tastes…" I concluded. They both had a deer on the top right corner. Ino's had a paintbrush in the opposite corner. The same thing ran through their minds: Shikamaru/Sai. I purchased the red roses.

-

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"Your turn, do better than I did."

"Can do."

"I'm sure you can…"

"Sarcasm?"

"No." (Sarcastic)

"Darn."(Unsarcastic)

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_**Guess who! Yup! Asuka! Hooray!**_

"Hey guys! What up?!" I burst into the training grounds they occupied.

"Ummm…the sky?" Sai answered. Cue the sweat drops.

"Hey, can I see your secret admirer's cards?!"

"Sure." Shikamaru handed his to me, but Sai held on firmly.

"When I said 'see', I meant let me borrow it for a while." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, guys? There's something similar in the cards. See? There's a bunch of flowers under the writing."

"It's Valentines Day, isn't it common for there to be flowers?" Sai asked. Shikamaru answered.

"Yeah, but notice how they used the same exact picture in the same place and size. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, but three means something's up…"

"But look here." I pointed to another graphic on Shikamaru's card. "There's a fan here. It looks like Temari's…

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"Talk about subtle, sarcasm."

"Because you could totally do better, sarcasm."

"Yes, I can; no sarcasm."

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = Naruto, Sai, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, Kiba (and Akamaru), Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Neji and Tenten. Konoha 15 is me and Asuka added.**

**2 = Hello/hi. There are people who don't know what this means!**

**3 = Hey**

**4 = Moron, idiot, stupid…anything implying the person is not smart **

**Thanks! I bet you thought those conversations that go…**

**-**

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"**conversation"**

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**Were Asuka and Electra! Well you're wrong! Or **_**are**_** you??? Hmmm…stay tuned to find out! And don't forget to review!**

**Right here! Just press it!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello peoples! I'd like to thank Chibi Tiger-chan for reviewing this story! Speaking of which, she asks:**

**What is the name of Electra's "Inner"?**

**Well, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you anything about her "Inner" yet! I'm planning on giving more information on her in chapter 17! So please bear with me! **

**Anyways, I ran out of ideas while typing this chapter, so it might be too short or not make sense…at all…seriously…especially this first part…**

**Disclaimer: Guess what!? I got more candy since Valentine's Day so I own Electra, Ryu and a whole bunch of candy! Asuka belongs to Asuka Rui Uchiha and Naruto belongs to a Japanese person whose name I still can't remember even though I've watched every Naruto episode so far and is waiting for the nest Shippuden episode to come out! That's the longest disclaimer that I've ever done!**

Chapter 15

Uchihas all the same

"So, for _him_, huh?" Asuka sat down on my bed, my room was lit with candles. I nodded and placed the red roses from Ino's shop on my table and burned them from the bottom up. The sparks left over afterwards floated in the air. I held out my hand and caught one.

"He's still alive? **(1)**"

"I hope so Asuka…I really hope so…"

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"Doesn't get annoying having the ANBU track you around everywhere you go?" Asuka complained.

"Hn."

"You remind me of someone…" Asuka put her hand to her chin.

"Really? Who does Sasuke remind you of?" I asked. She crossed her arms.

"If I recall, before I left, there was…I think my distant uncle or something…Arg! I can't remember!"

"I can't blame you, you were like, what? Four before you left?"

"Five, thank you very much."

"What are you guys talking about?" Sasuke asked, using two syllable words.

"Can I tell him? He deserves to know…" I asked. Asuka nodded. "Well, when Asuka was four–"

"Five, I was five."

"'Kay, when she was _five_ she was taken from her clan in Konoha–" Sasuke interrupted.

"She lived in Konoha?"

"Yes, _anyways_, before I was_ rudely interrupted_, some time before the…massacre…"

"Wait, what massacre?" Asuka demanded.

"Would you guys stop interrupting me!?"

"Sorry," the two ninjas stopped.

"Before the Uchiha massacre, Asuka was told that she was to leave at once. She was taken by a shinobi from my clan, along with me, and we left to America. The shinobi that took us died, and we were on our own. We grew up together and stuff so…"

"You're an Uchiha?"

"Yeah… Well, I guess so…"

"Can you use Sharingan!?" Sasuke's tone was demanding, almost desperate. He wanted to know he wasn't alone, that maybe; just _maybe_ he wasn't the last Uchiha after all.

"If you mean this…" Asuka activated a fully matured Sharingan **(2)**, "Then yes."

Sasuke looked at Asuka's eyes (no romantic spectacle here!). He _almost_ looked overjoyed, he _almost_ smiled, and he _almost_ danced with happiness. But Uchihas don't do that. Well, at least, not _that_ Uchiha. Intense Uchiha stare-down.

"You can accept her as part of your family, you know." Sasuke looked at me. "After all, you're Uchihas, all the same." I smiled and walked away. I don't like awkward moments.

"**Why'd you say that?"**

'_I just wish I could meet another Vesuvin. For all I know, I could be the last one. I'm just happy that Sasuke and Asuka have each other even though I don't have anyone.'_

"**It's okay; you've got me and Ryu!"**

'_Oh joy.'_

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"So it's true…" Tsunade set down another bottle of sake. "Asuka is an Uchiha…"

"Hai, Lady Tsunade," I answered. Word had got out that Sasuke wasn't the last surviving Uchiha. Unfortunately, I was called in to confirm it, seeing as the Uchihas were on a mission. The bad thing was, Tsunade was drunk.

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_**In an unknown-place-until-the-lazy-author-picks-a-place away from Konoha…**_

"So Sasuke-kun escaped?"

"Hai."

"And there's another Uchiha?"

"Hai."

"And this Uchiha, Asuka, has a friend?"

"Hai."

"Is her friend powerful?"

"Hai."

"Can you make sure you get some information on them? I have something…special planned…"

"Hai…Orochimaru-sama"

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = If I remember correctly, red roses symbolize love alive, pink is hopeful love and white is love deceased/dead, which is why they give white roses at the Third's funeral**

**2 = A matured Sharingan is one with three tomoe (commas) in each eye.**

**See!? I told you it wouldn't make any sense! You wouldn't expect it to anyways! I'm typing this in the morning and I'm already hyper! Wheeeeeeeeeee! I'm on a rolling chair! Ahhhhhhh! Oops…just crashed into a wall…**

**Review and I shall type more chapters!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Only one more review and another New Year's Resolution goal will be complete! (ten reviews) Yay! Please help me get there! Anyways, non-user Yui-chan asks:**

**Hows ****the match making going to turn go out?**

**I think she means 'How's the matchmaking going to turn out?'**

**Well, there will definitely be Sasusaku, Nejiten, Naruhina, and KibaxOC *coughAsukacough*. Kurenai belongs to Asuma, but he's dead…And Electra's got her own pairing. I'll be happy to write any other couple you have in mind!**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the Naruto characters that will appear in this fic. Nor do I own Asuka. She belongs to Asuka Rui Uchiha. Electra Vesuvin and Ryu belong to me!**

Chapter 16

Kabuto's Ninja Info Cards

"Hinata! Watch out! Chouji! To your left!" I yelled. I narrowly dodged a shuriken. A kunai whizzed past my leg. We were on a mission, our objective, find and capture one of Orochimaru's goons.

"Electromagnetic pulse jutsu!" I shocked a Sound ninja. I landed in a tree.

"Hinata? Need some help with Kabuto?!" I yelled.

"Ahhhhhh!" I'll take that as a yes…

"Chouji? Think you can handle these guys?"

"Just leave them to me!" I transformed into my signature lynx and ran at Kabuto and pounced. I swiped at his arm and then lunged at his knee. Kabuto's knee buckled and he fell. He decided on revenge and used chakra scalpel: discharge. He touched my right foreleg and it suddenly became limp. I transformed back.

"Hinata! I caught one!" Chouji called. In his enlarged fist, was an unconscious Sound Nin.

"Okay! Retreat, we have what we want!" We quickly left.

_**With Kabuto…**_

"And we have what we want…" I picked out a card **(1) **and looked at it.

Affliction: Konoha/Leaf Village

Strong point: Ninjutsu

Notes: Recently joined the Leaf Village after traveling. Is known for transforming into a lynx. Always wears a necklace, but hides the charm.

"Odd…"

The white box underneath 'Electra Vesuvin', depicted her Lightning Blade

Her teammate was Asuka, the next two boxes were blank.

Ninjutsu: Perfect, it reached the edge of the pentagon

Ninja Tool: Covered three-fourths of the way

Blood: Positive, she had a kekki genkai

Genjutsu: Half way up

Taijutsu: 75% of the way up

"Impressive."

The ninjutsu section of the bar graph to the left was colored red.

Ninja experience.

A rank: 3

B rank: 5

C rank: 13

D rank: 8

"Very interesting…Now for Asuka!"

_**Back to Electra because Kabuto is scary!**_

I would usually transform into an animal when traveling, but with an unusable arm, becoming a lynx or bird was impossible. My vision started to blur and my legs felt heavy. I blanked out.

_**Electra is currently unconscious, so Hinata is taking over!**_

Electra fell of the branch she just landed on and Choji barely caught her. We decided to rest for a little while. I did a quick examination, and found that she passed out from exhaustion.

"That can't be," Choji said when I told him. "When we were on the way here, she was perfectly fine, and we were going much faster." We sat and thought for a while. Then it hit me.

"Her kekki genkai!" Choji looked at me. "On the way here, she was an animal, remember?"

"Hmmm…Yeah…"

"But on the way here, she didn't transform, because Kabuto had injured her."

"But she shouldn't be fainting because of that…" Choji thought for a bit.

"True, but remember that she didn't go to the academy and build up her stamina like the rest of us…"

_**Asuka's turn to get attacked by Kabuto!**_

"HOLY CRAP!!! A PERVERTED STALKER!!!" I screamed and threw a kunai. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! IT'S OROCHI-BASTARD'S BITCH!!! NO OFFENSE TO FEMALE INUZUKAS!!! WHY AM I STILL YELLING!?!?!?"

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"CUT! THIS DAMN STORY IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING KID-APPROPRIATE!!!"

"Sorry Electra…"

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Kabuto blinked. "Are you done yet?" Asuka glared at him and sipped some green tea that appeared out of nowhere. She then produced a brownie and ate it silently…

_**Five minutes later…**_

The ground was covered with various food wrappers and I burped.

"Excuse me!" I chirped and then I charged at the bitch…sorry, Orochimaru's lapdog…

"Katon: Karyuu endan!" My infamous fire dragon charged at the bit– Sound Nin. He turned into a log.

"Replacement Jutsu!?" I whipped around, "Where the hel– …Hello Panda did he go!?" I activated Sharingan. I saw his chakra. I sprinted towards the tree and used Chidori** (2) **on the poor thing. I could practically hear Electra saying…

"What was that for!? Trying to make global warming worse!?"

Well anyways, Chidori blasted through the tree and grazed Kabuto's arm. Luckily for me, however, even though I didn't hit him head on, I was able to numb his right arm. I sure hope he's right handed…

_**I have to get more info on Asuka's moves, so let's pretend that the battle continued…**_

"Cra…b" I held my arm. _'I sent for help hours ago! The ANBU should be here by now!' _Well, actually, it was only 5 minutes and the ANBU were right behind me so…

Kabuto instantly fled.

"Uchiha-san? Do you need to go to the hospital?" One of the ANBU asked.

"That would be a good idea…"

_**Deep breaths before entering Kabuto's point of view… In, out, in, out, in, out…**_

Hmmm…Asuka's card…

"Here, Orochimaru-sama…" I handed him the two cards.

"Electra's stats are very similar to Asuka's, don't you think?" I answered.

"When I examined them, they turned out to be the same. It's probably because they grew up and trained together."

"Affliction: Konoha/Leaf Village…not for long…

Strong point: Ninjutsu…more jutsus to learn…

Notes: Recently joined the Leaf Village and was a candidate for joining Akatsuki. One of the surviving Uchihas and wears a necklace.

The white box under 'Asuka Uchiha' showed an extremely long katana **(3)**.

A rank: 1

B rank: 2

C rank: 4

D rank: 7…So she hasn't taken the Chunin exams?"

"No."

"Kabuto, pack your ninja gear and gather an army…"  
"Nani?"** (4)**

"…Tomorrow we will attack the Leaf Village!"

**Japanese Etc.**

**1 = Kabuto's cards that he uses to gain information on other ninja. They were shown in the Chunin Exam arc.**

**2 = Electra was helping Asuka learn Chidori before they left, but they never finished. So while Electra is gone, Sasuke takes over her training…with a little persuasion…**

**3 = This is a really long katana, I'm talking 4 feet here!**

**4 = What?**

**Next on New and INSANE Shinobi!**

"Orochimaru! You're gonna regret ever setting your sights on me and Konoha!"

"We'll just see about that child!"

'_What's this feeling…? Oh no, she's coming out!'_

"With what's left of my control…" I faced Asuka "I'm going to say this. Stop me before I end up destroying the very thing I'm trying to save…"

I transformed.

**Chapter 17! Special! The power within Electra's necklace! Stay tuned!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Another New and INSANE shinobi special! Be prepared to be amazed and completely confuzzled! I now have a sneak peek page! To see, go to the neopets website, type in Electro17_S in the search engine, click on the pet, and view it's pet page. You can also type in electra_lightning_17, and go to visit her guild. There are a few other sneak peeks and such on the links that will probably be there!**

**Disclaimer: I own barely anything, and so I might get a job soon. But I do own Electra Vesuvin, Electra Lightning, and Ryu. Asuka Rui Uchiha owns Asuka Uchiha. An anonymous person owns the anonymous person at the end. A Japanese dude owns Naruto.**

Chapter 17

Special Event!

The Power within Electra's Necklace!

_Electra's Dream…_

_I opened my eyes and I was standing at Konoha's gates. A raindrop fell to the ground. The moment it splattered, the Sound Ninja attacked! I fell to the wet ground and saw the destruction made so quickly by the evil ninja. Then I saw him._

_Orochimaru._

"_Come here child…I offer you power!"_

"_Power?"_

"_You want it, don't you? Asuka-chan certainly does. And look how powerful I made Sasuke-kun!"_

"_Get away you bastard!"_

_His tongue shot out of his mouth and whipped me into a house. The Leaf Village was in shambles…_

_End of Dream…_

"Gahh!" I woke with a start. I clutched my blanket.

'_That dream was so vivid. So realistic. No flying pigs, no purple elephants…nothing! That can only mean one thing…'_

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"Tsunade!" I quickly burst into her office. "I had a vision!"

"A vision? Don't be silly, visions aren't real!"

"Orochimaru…he's…"

"Orochimaru?!" Tsunade slammed her fist on the poor desk. But I could care less about that.

"On a rainy day, Orochimaru and the Sound Village are going to attack!"

"What!?"

"He's after Asuka and me!" Tsunade glanced out the window. There were storm clouds.

"I just got worked up after hearing Orochimaru's name." The group of genin who were in the room before me, sighed. One of them stepped forward.

"So Orochimaru's not attacking?" She asked.

"No…he–"

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune entered the room.

"Yes Shizune?"

"We received word that the Sound Village is attacking!"

"What?!" Tsunade turned to the genin team "Get a move on and warn everybody!"

"Told ya so…" I whispered.

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"Attack!" Orochimaru stood on his gigantic snake and pointed towards Konoha. With my newly assigned mission in mind, I charged forward.

"Plasma Pulse Jutsu!" I hit the snake dead on and Asuka caught up. I gave her a quick run down of the mission.

"A rank?"

"S rank."

"Sweet!"

"Let's go!"

"Katon: Karyuu endan!"

"Plasma Pulse Jutsu!" Our collaboration jutsu hit Orochimaru himself. He fell off his snake and the summoning continued on his rampage.

"Orochimaru! You're gonna regret ever setting your sights on me and Konoha!"

"We'll just see about that child!"

'_What's this feeling…? Oh no, she's coming out!'_

"With what's left of my control…" I faced Asuka "I'm going to say this. Stop me before I end up destroying the very thing I'm trying to save…"

I transformed.

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_**Third person would really help right now, so here's what's happening!**_

Naruto arrived at the scene, along with the rest of the Konoha 15.

"Who's that?" He asked Asuka.

"Electra…"

"NANI!?!?!? **(1)** That's Electra!?" Naruto pointed at the transformation.

"Yeah…That's Electra alright…her transformation…"

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Electra touched Orochimaru and he screamed. His body pulsed with yellow electricity.

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"Transformation?" Neji asked. The female Uchiha nodded.

"See that?" I pointed to Electra's necklace. "She usually hides her charm, because when the stone is exposed to Electra's chakra, it starts powering up."

"I've always wondered what it looked like…" Shikamaru commented. The necklace was a silver dolphin protectively encircling a polished blue stone.

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The necklace was glowing.

"Let me go!" Orochimaru demanded.

The transformation's eyes glowed blue and the Sannin's arm flew off.

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"It holds the power to her transformation." She pointed to her own necklace. It was a gold charm on an orange ribbon. The charm itself was egg shaped and have a v- cut with a darker shade of gold near the bottom. Three, green, three-leafed clovers decorated the bottom. Near the top, there was a hand and below that were two gryphon in the medieval style pose.

"Mine works the same way, but it's less sensitive to its surroundings, so I can show it." They turned to Electra, who was beating up Orochimaru.

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Orochimaru's snakes attacked, but most turned and retreated as soon as they got close. Those who didn't burned when they came within ten feet of her.

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"Whoa…" Choji said, "She's destroying the sannin like he's some kind of rag doll. And the amount of chakra exuding from her is…amazing!"

"That's it!" Sasuke activated his Sharingan, "That's the chakra I saw when I was fighting her in the chunin exams!"

_Flashbacks! Whoosh!_

'_What? There's a different chakra surrounding her. More devastating…more powerful…What is this?' Sasuke thought. _

_Tsunade, I had my Sharingan activated during the battle and I could still see that Electra had a sufficient amount of chakra left until the end of her battles." Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "I also noticed when her flame shield died away; a new type of chakra took her place."_

"_But, all that jutsus! And – and –"_

"_I know, I don't really understand it either, but we should keep an eye on her…"_

_End flashbacks! Whoosh!_

"She rarely uses her transformation's power, it's almost uncontrollable," Asuka continued. "From what I know, Electra is like a Jinchuriki**(2)**, like Naruto. Her transformation, we call her Electra Lightning, or just Lightning."

"Like me, huh?" Naruto thought. "How do you reverse the transformation?"

"You'd have to take off the necklace and take it far away. That way, Lightning's power can't reach Electra."

"Sounds easy enough!" Kiba exclaimed.

"But do you see the way she's pulverizing Orochimaru?!"

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Lightning's arm glowing blue for a moment and electricity raced down it and electrocuted Orochimaru. Her power formed a mirror image of her and became a clone.

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"She asked me to stop her before things got bad, it's really bad now." Asuka fingered her necklace and closed her eyes.

"Wish me luck…" Asuka's Sharingan eyes shot open and her necklace was charged with chakra.

Her raven colored hair lightened to an orange color and green streaks ran through her hair. Her transformation was almost as drastic as Electra's.

"Lightning!" She called. Lightning turned to her. She held Orochimaru up in the air by his collar with her left hand. She had prepared an electrified fist.

Lightning lowered her fist and dropped Orochimaru, readying her stance.

"Nani!? She's going to attack Asuka?!" Ino yelled.

"I guess, the angrier she is, the less control she has. If that's the way a Bjuu**(3) **works," Naruto answered.

Lightning gasped, Orochimaru had run the Grass Long Sword through her side. Lightning made another clone and faced Orochimaru.

"Shoot…" Asuka's transformation jumped over the clone.

Lightning pulled out the sword and ran it through Orochimaru himself and pinned him to the house behind him. Asuka reached for the necklace, but was kicked in the gut by Lightning.

"Tsk, tsk…trying to take the necklace…ne **(4)**…Lily?"

"Holy crap…" Lily was blasted back into Kiba by a lightning bolt.

"What are we waiting for!? We should be able to help her!" Tenten exclaimed.

"No, Electra asked me to stop her, so that's what I'll do!"

"Stop being so stubborn!" Neji joined in. "At this level of anger, you and Orochimaru will die."

"There was only one time she got this angry. She destroyed an entire forest and I almost died…" Lily murmured and got up. "Fine, but it's your funeral…"

"Don't worry! We'll do it! Dattebayo! **(5)**"

"Right…Let's go!" Lily charged forward and tried to kick Lightning. She bent down and thrust her foot into Lily's knee. She fell backwards and landed on Akamaru. He whimpered.

"I'm okay boy…" Lily got up. Naruto made multiple shadow clones, each taking their chances at the necklace. Orochimaru got up and removed the sword.

"Die!" He whipped his tongue (Ewww…) at everyone except for the transformations. Kabuto arrived on the scene and threw senbon at their necks, knocking them unconscious.

"Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto approached.

"Heal me later, get those two brats and bring them to base!" Orochimaru commanded. He picked up the bodies of Lightning and Lily, who were slowly fading back to Electra and Asuka.

"No! Come back here…you….bastard…" Naruto was quickly becoming unconscious. The last thing he saw was Tsunade.

_**Tis' here there'd be a time skip in which we switch back to Electra and head to Orochimaru's base…**_

"Ugh…what did I hit my head on?" I awoke in a dark room. I felt for my necklace.

"Good, it's still there…" I tucked it in where it was unexposed, "Now to find out where I am…"

I got up and transformed into an owl, and using my heightened senses, found Asuka in the same room. I alighted on her shoulder and gently shook her.

"Ugh…five more minutes…" I rolled my owl eyes and shrieked. She jumped out of bed and hit her head on the ceiling and then landed on her butt on the stone floor. I flew to the door, reformed, and opened the door. A soft flood of light poured into the room, and I could almost drown in it. The candle light never looked more beautiful…

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"I think I've seen this crack before…and this dust particle…It's official! We've been walking around in circles!" Asuka declared. I hit my forehead with my palm…

-

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"Hey do you know where the cafeteria is? I'm hungry…" I complained.

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"Oh no!" Asuka wailed.

"What?"

"This is the room we left!" She cried.

"That's a good thing!"

"How so?"

"We've only gone in one circle, not a whole bunch!" Asuka was the one to hit her forehead on her palm this time…

-

-

-

"Uhhh…Electra? I think I found the cafeteria…"

"Really!? Where!?" I looked to the right, left, up, down and I whirled around. No cafeteria…She put her hand on my shoulder and turned me forwards. I saw a ratty little place that was dark, dusty, stinky, stuffy, cramped, bloody…but it had food! I ran inside and grabbed two loaves of bread, five bunches of grapes, 13 bowls of curry, ten plates of sushi, five cans of soup, five apples, ten frosted sugar cookies, a truckload (literally) of candy, and a (once again literally) yacht full of cheese

"Why do you need all that?" Asuka raised an eyebrow. I grinned a huge, cheesy grin.

"Time to break our record!" I cheered, Asuka understood and we retraced our steps.

-

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A few hours had passed. There was no longer any bread, grapes, sugar cookies, curry, sushi, soup, apples or candy. There was, however, cheese.

"Almost there! Just three more bites!" You know, when in anime, a person eats a whole bunch of food; they get reeeeeeally bloated and fat? Well, there's something wrong with Asuka and I, so we stayed the same size…

"Yes! Victory is ours!" I pumped my fist in the air.

"I wonder what will happen when they discover that we ate their entire food supply…"

-

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"AHHHHHHH!!! OUR FOOD!!!" Orochimaru yelled. He clutched his head and hissed.

"Or-Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto stuttered, keeping my hands in a "calming" position.

-

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"AHHHHHHH!!! OUR FOOD!!!"

"…"

"Well there's your answer Asuka!" We fell over laughing.

"Now, to get rid of these wrappers and stuff…" I bounced up and down like a hyper bunny and raised my hand.

"Oh, oh! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Electra?" Asuka said, laying on the sarcasm a little too thick.

"Me use Ember Explosion Jutsu on stuff. Stuff goes kablooy(ka-'blue-e)!" I moved my arms to represent an explosion, "Stuff goes bye-bye and it smells. Me use Fire Style: Charred Barrier Jutsu to make stink go away and we happy!"

"You ideas work! Us needs grammars lesson!"

"Yay!" We cheered.

"Ember Explosion Jutsu!" I lit the stuff on fire and it melted. "Fire Style: Charred Barrier Jutsu!" The ashes covered the stinky area and we smiled. We did our secret handshake and ended it with…

"Awkward!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm hungry!"

"Me too…"

-

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We were looking for the food room, this time, not trying to break our record. Instead we came to an experimental room. There was a green glow filling a large canister of water. There was an alien thing in it. I scribbled on a sticky note and stuck it on the container.

" 'This is not real, to be eaten. Take a bite.' Nice!" We high-fived. We walked past that, doing similar things to other canisters. Then we came to a cage. It was hidden in the dark corner. We walked towards it. A pale face framed with light brown hair emerged. A sapphire eye and an emerald eye opened and looked at us. They widened, so did ours…

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = What?**

**2 = Person with a Bjuu in them, such as Naruto or Gaara**

**3 = Tailed beast who resides within a host, such as Kyuubi or Shukaku**

**Remember to visit the sneak peek pages told about at the top! They could help your understanding of the story! Please review and I will not hurt you! Review all the other stories for Asuka Rui Uchiha even if you have no idea what's going on!**

**Press it!**

**It doesn't bite!  
Yet…**


	18. Chapter 18

**Yes! It's finally here! The next chapter of ****New and INSANE shinobi****! This chapter is dedicated to Yoshie, my friend! Yay! She gave me my tenth review! That's another New Year's goal completed! Even though it's technically not a review! Oh well! This is weird! I haven't had any candy and it's 7:45 in the morning! I'm hyper!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Naruto characters, Asuka Uchiha or Yoshiro Sakura. Naruto and friends are owned by a Japanese person. Asuka Uchiha is owned by Asuka Rui Uchiha. Yoshiro Sakura is owned by…my friend that will be referred to as Yoshie. I own Electra and Ryu. He is not in this chapter…**

Chapter 18

Enter Yoshiro

"Electra? Asuka?" The girl crawled over to the bars of the cage and looked at us pleadingly. "Get me out!"

"Wow, I would've thought you would've bitten your way through the bars..." Asuka commented. The girl smiled.

"I would've, but I-"

"You guys say 'would've' a lot," I interrupted. "Well, enough chit-chat! Let's get you outta here!" I touched the bars and sharp and poisonous spikes shot out. I got my hands away just in time.

"So that's why you didn't eat your way out of here..." Asuka interpreted.

"Plasma pulse jutsu!"

"Katon: Karyuu endan!"

"Plasmic dragon collaboration justu!**(1)**" We yelled at the same time. When the smoke cleared, the girl stretched her tail, perked her ears and showed off her fangs and smiled.

"I got some of your cargo waiting at home, Yoshie.

"Oh do you?" An overly "sweet" voice called. "I see that you've broken through my cage. And I went through so much trouble to make sure it was reinforced." He licked his lips with his purple tongue.

"I'll get you Orochimaru!" Yoshie screamed. Her throat was dry and parched. She collapsed and Asuka caught her.

"What did you do to her!?" I yelled.

"Oh, I only wanted to experiment on her. What's more interesting than a neko**(2)**?" He hissed. Asuka answered in a non-sarcastic voice.

"How disgusting a pedophile/gaysian/rogue/mad scientist/gender confused person/snake person/…"

"Okay! I get it!" Orochimaru lashed out.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we'll be leaving this hell hole." We slowly walked off.

"Oh no you don't!" He whipped out his tongue and blocked our path.

"Ewwww!!! I got snake-bastard spit on my hand!!! Get it off!!! Get it off!!!" I jumped around wildly and wiped the saliva off on a passing Sound Nin who looked really pissed. I reentered the room.

"OH MY GOD!!! IT'S- IT'S-!!!" I hyperventilated.

"IT'S A GIANT PIECE OF BEFF JERKY!!!" Yoshie finished for me. We jumped on top of the hunk of meat and started eating. We literally clawed out the meat on the slab of jerky. It was ten feet cubed, or for the mathematically challenged, ten feet tall, ten feet long and ten feet wide…

_**This is the five minutes in which Sound ninja stare at us while we eat BEEF JERKY!!!**_

Yoshie also had that body disorder thing-a-ma-whose, so none of us were fat, and Yoshie was no longer starved! Asuka put her foot up on a stool triumphantly**(3) **and held up an object.

"Behold!" She said, brandishing the object, "The Awesome, Gigantic, Delicious, Crispy, Beautiful, Amazing, Savory, and Shiny**(4)** Chocolate Chip Cookie of Truth!" Yoshie knelt on her knee and clasped her hands together. Her eyes sparkled with idolization and hunger.

I, on the other hand…

"What's the big deal? It's just a chocolate chip cookie." My face showed obvious disappointment and I shrugged. The two other girls looked flustered.

"Oh yeah…we forgot that you don't like chocolate**(5)**," They admitted in unison. I nodded approvingly.

"You bakas**(6)**!" Orochimaru hissed. He used his tongue to steal The Awesome, Gigantic, Delicious, Crispy, Beautiful, Amazing, Savory, and Shiny Chocolate Chip Cookie of Truth. We all stood there with our mouths hanging open.

"You stole The Awesome, Gigantic, Delicious, Crispy, Beautiful, Amazing, Savory, and Shiny Chocolate Chip Cookie of Truth," We said, almost robotically, as we pointed to Orochimaru. Yoshie growled.

"YOU STOLE MY FOOD!!!" she growled. She lunged.

_**This scene is too gory for the eyes of the innocent. It had to be censored. We're sorry for the inconvenience. **_

Basically, we beat up Orochimaru like he was Jiraiya peeking at Tsunade. So essentially, that was his next near death experience. Stealing The Awesome, Gigantic, Delicious, Crispy, Beautiful, Amazing, Savory, and Shiny Chocolate Chip Cookie of Truth from three insane kunoichis. What a horrible crime…

"Ugh, I'll make a deal with you…I won't bring out my minions to destroy you, as long as you let me live…" Orochi-bastard negotiated.

"You got your arm back, ne**(4 in the first section)**?" I said, looking at the arm that I thought Lightning had blown off.

"What's she means by that is yes," Asuka answered before Yoshie could rebuff his offer. The said Uchiha whispered in Yoshie's wolf ears. The neko nodded in understanding.

"Well, we know that we can defeat your little armies as easily as we can defeat you. But…If you _can_ make us stronger…we accept!" Yoshie bargained. We sealed the deal with a contract…

Yoshie had written up a long contract. And when I say long, I mean 600 pages of 8 ½ inch by 12 inch pieces of paper…All those poor, poor trees…

"This basically says that we can so whatever in Orochimaru's lair, he will train us to make us strong AND he will NOT eat our FOOD!!! In return, we must serve under Orochimaru WITHOUT doing anything inappropriate for this fanfic, will not murder any of his minions, oh joy, and we will not kill him. Sounds good?" Yoshie stated.

"What do you mean by inappropriate? And fanfic?" Orochimaru asked suspiciously.

"Number one: We all know you're a bisexual pedophile," I answered.

"And number two?" He questioned.

"Skip it," Asuka brushed it off.

"Why should I?" Orochimaru hissed, trying to act superior.

"She said skip it!" Yoshie threatened. She still didn't forgive him for stealing The Awesome, Gigantic, Delicious, Crispy, Beautiful, Amazing, Savory, and Shiny Chocolate Chip Cookie of Truth. None of us had.

She pounced on Orochimaru.

"Gahh! You said that in return you wouldn't hurt me!" He screeched. Asuka and I joined in.

"That's in the contract. We haven't signed it yet! So we'll have our fun now!!!" Asuka reasoned…which is amazing for her to be reasonable…well…any of us…

_**This scene is too gory for the eyes of the innocent. It had to be censored. We're sorry for the inconvenience.**_

"Okay, sign here…" Yoshie pointed to a spot.

'Orochimaru'

'Electra Vesuvin'

'Asuka Uchiha'

'Yoshiro Sakura' we continued on.

_**Okay…If there are 600 pages, and each one takes one minute…Then there are 10 hours of signatures located here!**_

"And finally…here!" We sluggishly finished signing the document. I immediately trudged off to bed. Yoshie took some food with her. Asuka poked Orochimaru. We left.

-

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"Orochimaru-sama? I think you made a mistake; signing that contract…"

"Don't worry…nothing will go wrong. After all. I've got three new vessels…"

"But on page 588 of the contract, it says you are not allowed to use forbidden jutsus on them…"

"…"

-

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-

"Ready to put our plan into action?" Yoshie whispered.

"Hai**(7)**!" We started.

_**Back in the Leaf Village…**_

"Orochimaru kidnapped Electra and Asuka?!?!?!?!?!" Tsunade's voice rang throughout the Hidden Villages.

-

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"Kankuro? Did you just hear something?"

"No…did you?"

"Yes. It sounded like Tsunade…"

"Don't be silly! That woman just yells too much and you imagine that you're hearing her!" Temari reasoned.

"I need to see a psychologist…" Gaara grumbled.

-

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"Set out at once! Find Orochimaru and bring those two home!!!" Tsunade roared at a group of four ninja. The shinobi quickly left.

-

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"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment with a psychologist."

"Why?"

"I kept hearing voices…Hey! There it was again!"

"Kazekage-sama needs to see our top psychologist right away…"

-

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-

"Orochimaru?" Yoshie asked, walking in front of us.

"Not right now! My spies informed me that Konoha is making their way here!"

"Let us handle it!" I spoke up.

"Kabuto, go with them and make sure they don't escape!"

"Hai."

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"We'll save you!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air. Sakura, Neji and Yamato stood behind him.

"Let's set out!"

**Japanese Etc.**

**These are the ones from the last chapter that somehow got lost…**

**4 = huh?**

**5 = Believe it! Naruto's catch phrase.**

**Here are the ones from this chapter!**

**1 = this is the jutsu that Asuka and I used on Deidara and Tobi in 'Enter Asuka'/Chapter 8. We also used this on Orochimaru once. Katon: Karyuu endan and Plasma Pulse Jutsu combined**

**2 = Part person part animal. In this case, Yoshie is part human part wolf**

**3 = this is the pose on the Captain Morgan bottle thing but she has her right arm raised above her head, holding the cookie**

**4 = yes, it's shiny, the cookie glows with the light of the sun**

**5 = It's true, I don't like chocolate. But hot cocoa is good**

**6 = Idiot, Stupid, Moron…anything implying that the person isn't smart.**

**7 = yes. You should know this by now!**

**Yes, that is all. Ummm…I have no excuse for taking a while…I have a lot of free time. The best thing I got is that my ANNOYING little sister keeps on nagging me. Uhhh…yeah…**

**Click on the little button here!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry this took so long! I got a limit on my computer time! Anyways, next chapter, very short, very…….ummm…….what else is it again? Oh yeah! I found out that Sasuke is a hamster and Gaara is an emo hamster the other day!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own: Naruto, Asuka, Yoshiro or anyone but Electra and Ryu! I still have to find a place for Ryu in this fic…**

Chapter 19

We're with Orochimaru Now

"Do you see anyone Neji?"

"No, not yet, give me a little more time."

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"Do you know who's coming, Electra?"

"I have a pretty good idea that Naruto's in the group."

"So predictable…"

"What are we talking about?"

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"I see something! 4 figures are moving at 50 mph. They're about 100 meters away," Neji spoke. Naruto sped to the front. He stopped.

"Naruto, what's wrong?" Sakura asked worriedly.

"Kabuto…" Naruto gritted his teeth and whipped out the kunai he kept in his sleeve. He threw it and it whistled through the air. It was inches away from Kabuto's smirking face. A dagger shot out of no where and redirected the kunai into a tree. The dagger embedded itself in the branch that Naruto stood on.

"What's up?" I greeted. My back was against the trunk of the tree between Naruto and Kabuto. I put my foot against it and pushed off. I landed next to Kabuto. Asuka leaped down next to me.

"Electra? Asuka? What's going on here...?" Sakura was afraid of the answer.

"I'm sorry Sakura, but we're with Orochimaru now," I said, unfeelingly.

"What's happened to you?!" Naruto asked, "You've become like Sasuke!"

"They've joined Orochimaru. Now leave us alone. We don't want to fight you," Yoshie called, jumping out of a tree.

"Who are you? One of Orochimaru's goons, I presume?" Neji questioned.

"No, one of Asuka's and Electra's old friends." I turned back to them.

"We're not coming back. You can leave peacefully, or we'll fight."

"Then it that case...Rasengan!"

"Yoshie!" I yelled.

"On it!" She show an arrow at a rope that she had set up earlier. The bow quivered and vibrated, and it was the only thing you could hear for a while. Kunai whizzed from the treetops and dived towards the Konoha ninja.

"Impossible! How could I not see it!?" Neji exclaimed.

"You had your attention on me instead of Yoshie, so she could safely set traps!" I explained. I wielded my Lightning Blade. I bounded over towards Naruto and slashed. My bangs got in my eyes and luckily for Naruto, I missed.

"Shoot," I whispered, quickly tying up my new Sound headband around my forehead.

"No…" Sakura murmured, she had lost Sasuke to Orochimaru already, seems that she preferred her friends to stay in Konoha. Unfortunately, I had other plans…

"Take this!" Yoshie shot another arrow at Neji, though he dodged, but a Water Clone, created by the help of the conveniently located lake (underneath the well spaced out trees), held a sword uncomfortably close to Neji's neck.

"Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!" Asuka's Uchiha Jutsu dissolved Yamato's Wood Jutsu. She leapt towards the ANBU and drew she dangerously long and slender sword. Flames emerged and danced and twirled around the blade, quickly making its way towards Yamato.

Kabuto used his chakra scalpel to prevent Sakura's usage of her immense strength. He kicked Sakura in the gut and she coughed up some blood. Sakura stumbled back defenselessly, cursing the fact that Kabuto cut off use of her arms.

I turned attention to my own battle.

"Come on Naruto!" I mocked, "You couldn't bring Sasuke back, and now you can barely stand to fight me! What's wrong!?"

"Shut up!" He yelled, I stopped, Naruto seldom looked so determined, "I couldn't bring Sasuke back, but that doesn't mean I can't stop you from turning your back on the Leaf Village!"

"Prove it to me! Show me that you're as strong as you say!" I called off my sword and moved into stance. "Fire style: Flamethrower Jutsu!"

"Rasengan!" he captured my fire and mixed it with his chakra, like what he did to Mizura in the Chunin exams.

"Plasma Pulse Jutsu!" A yellowish sphere of chakra blended with orange pulsated in my hands. When I released it, a ring of plasma and chakra surrounded it, much too large and too dense for Naruto to use against me. When his flaming Rasengan and my Plasma Pulse met, a blinding light shone. My allies retreated to my side and Naruto's to his. When the light faded, we were out of sight, and the Naruto, Sakura, Neji and Yamato were exhausted.

"Kuso**(1),**" Naruto choked, holding back tears, "Why does Orochimaru always take away my friends?!" Sakura patted him on the back and we left.

"What a crybaby!" Yoshie exclaimed.

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"Sorry Tsunade, we failed to retrieve Electra and Asuka…"

"And it appears that they met yet another companion of theirs," Yamato reported as naturally as if he were describing his day. If only it were that easy…

"You won't believe it, she was a neko!"

"A neko?" Tsunade raised her brow. "Electra's friends always were a little odd…"

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"ACHOO!!!" We all sneezed.

"Wow," I acknowledged, "Someone is talking about all three of us…" I grinned.

"I think I have a pretty good idea who…" Asuka added.

"Orochi-bastard?" Yup, Yoshie.

"No…you don't know them…" Asuka answered "mysteriously".

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = Damn it, Damn, things of that nature**

**Yeah, let's cut to the chase. Review and I won't hurt you……. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! And don't forget to check out my sneak peek page on Electro17_S's pet page at neopets!!!**

**Just press the darn thing!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Blame my life for this coming out later than usual…**

**Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviews! That's twenty chapters of semi-insanity so far! So let's celebrate with a good round of applause and a three page long (on Microsoft word) chapter slightly centered around Asuka!**

**Disclaimer: Asuka belongs to Asuka Rui Uchiha, Yoshie belongs to Yoshiro Sakura and Naruto belongs to a Japanese dude. I own Electra and Ryu, (who I FINALLY found a role for!) so DON'T SUE ME!!!**

Chapter 20

Asuka's Sharingan

"Sharingan!" Asuka activated her bloodline. She quickly found Yoshie and me among the rubble we had created. I jumped out and transformed the Lightning Blade into a dagger and threw it at Yoshie. After deflecting it with her sword, it rocketed towards my lightning clone and she caught it. She threw it to me and disappeared.

"Okay! That's good enough!" Orochimaru called. I flopped on a particularly soft slab of earth (whom I didn't find out was a servant until sometime later…) and looked at the clouds.

"Orochimaru?" Yoshie asked "innocently". The snake sannin raised his eyebrow. Yoshie held out her hand that screamed give-it-because-I-totally-deserve-it-or-else-I'll-beat-the-crap-out-of-you.  
"Food. Now." Orochimaru rolled his eyes and clapped his hands. The servant that I was sitting on moved out from under me (And yes, I did fall on my butt and kick his butt later) and approached Yoshie with a plate of food. He ran to the other side of the hideout.

"Now that _that_ awkward moment of silence is over, let's go sit on Kabuto!" We held our hands in front of us with a bend at the elbows. We flopped our hands around like a fish out of water. *coughkisamecough*

"Yay!" we all cheered. Orochimaru looked at us like the way he'd been looking at us every 5 seconds for the 10 days we've been here.

We went back to our quarters and I lay on the bed.

"So……. Who's gonna get Kabuto to come this time?" I asked lazily. "I want some lemon bites, those are good!"

"Yoshie, it's your turn to get him," Asuka replied. The neko grudgingly got off her comfortable bed and ventured into the dancing candle light.

"So…….?" I droned. Asuka mimicked me and sighed.

"I'm bored!" she complained after 5 minutes of waiting, "Yoshie should've been here with Kabuto by now! And –"

Asuka's pointless rant (which sounded like blah, blah-blah, blah-blah to me) was interrupted by a piercing scream echoing through the halls. We raced down the labyrinth, taking random turns here and there, trying to pinpoint the location of the screamer. We _eventually_ came across Yoshie running from, yup, you guessed it. Evil/Mutant Chickens, hamsters and turkeys.

"Ho – "My mouth dropped.

"-ly" Asuka started to back away.

"SHIT!!!!!!!" Yoshie pushed her way through us and we quickly followed suit.

We continue to bullet past confused servants and annoyed Sound Nin, even running into Kabuto or Orochimaru a few times. Too bad I hadn't the best stamina a ninja _should_ have.

"Crab!" I exclaimed when my legs gave out. I collapsed and felt faint. A mutant hamster sniffed my hair, but I was too tired to push it away. Ryu made his way towards us and tried to cover me with his wings. He was pushed aside by one of the turkeys.

I swore under my breath and tried to summon up enough chakra to perform a large enough jutsu to prevent being eaten by a giant/ugly Thanksgiving main course. I vaguely saw Asuka taking a step in front of me.

A black fire.

A loud screech.

A cry.

Ryu's frantic call.

A crackling fire.

A thump.

Yoshie's voice.

Silence.

-

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-

When I woke up again. Asuka's eyes were different, not the usual Sharingan. She had a different eye power.

Mangekyo.

It was red and the designs were black. But the designs weren't the usual three tomoe around a dot. Instead, there was a three-spoke pinwheel that twirled around a dot. It was combined with an inward facing Sharingan. In the indents of the pinwheel, wisps of black shot out.

Yoshie had performed her healing jutsu on me and I felt a little refreshed. When Asuka whipped around to check on me, I saw her eyes again. A second later, one of the monsters collapsed when she looked at it.

Tsukuyomi.

And the fire from before.

Amaratsu.

A giant warrior.

Susanoo.

I know what you're thinking, 'Why would one need Amaratsu, Tsukuyomi and Susanoo on mutant rodents and poultry?' Remember that_ Orochimaru_ experimented on them. That means super power/defense/stamina/speed! That _also_ means _unstable_! YOU WITH ME PEOPLE! DO YOU COMPRENHEND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH! DO YA!?!?!?!?!?

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"Uhh…? Electra? You're getting a _leeettle_ side-tracked…"

"Huh? Oh, sorry readers!" Insert anime sweat drops here.

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I swayed to my feet and used the wall for support.

"Ryu!" I called. He obediently fluttered onto my shoulder. I formed Chidori and transferred it to his wings. The lightning spread throughout his wing.

"Collaboration: Lightning wing jutsu!" I yelled. Ryu flew into the heat of battle with his electrified wings, tearing through hamsters, turkeys and chickens. Much cooler than it sounds.

"Congratulations girls," Orochimaru grinned, appearing out of no where. His sidekick appeared by his master and addressed us.

"They were supposed to be invincible, rampaging beasts… that enjoy killing."

"Guinea pigs?" I asked.

"Hamster, not guinea pigs, hamsters," Yoshie corrected me. Know-it-all.

"Not exactly the most threatening things out there you know," I continued.

"Well, they're brainless, aren't they? Doesn't that make them more…? Crazy?" Asuka asked.

"That too…" Orochimaru answered, a little uncomfortably. He then grinned and bared his teeth. Kabuto cautiously took a step back and we staggered back.

"Mangekyo, eh?" He hissed. Orochimaru's neck extended to a veeeeery long length and he brandished his (badly-taken-care-of) teeth. He bit Asuka on the neck and she screamed. Yoshie readied an arrow, and just as she was about to shoot, Orochimaru recoiled. Yoshie re-aimed, and fired, adding fire to her weapon. I summoned my Lightning Blade and transformed it into a dagger, and threw it.

Kabuto blocked both attacks and Orochimaru disappeared. Kabuto followed suit as we went to check on Asuka. She screamed and held the place Orochimaru had bitten her. A bruise resembling the Sharingan took form. Sakura had told me about that, and I had seen it too.

The Heaven Curse Seal.

"Kuso," I whispered as Asuka fainted. "Yoshie, carry her back to our room, I'm going to get some supplies," I instructed. I raced down the halls as fast as my already exhausted legs could carry me.

I found water and some towels. I ran back to our room, while balancing the water jug. I bumped into a few Sound citizens on my way, but I managed to keep everything in one peace.

I came back within a few minutes and Yoshie knew what to do. She was a pre-trained medic. I was about to flop on my bed for a good night's sleep, but Yoshie had something to say.

"Hey, Electra?" She asked, placing a towel on Asuka's forehead.

"Hm?" I asked lazily.

"Could you ask Kabuto for some snacks? I'm starved!"

"…"  
"Electra?"

"…"

"?"

"Fine."

"YAY!!!"

**Read? Check!**

**Reviewed? Hopefully!**

**Enjoyed? Probably not!**

**But if there are three checks, then I'm very happy and I give you a hundred dollars! Invisible money is **_**really**_** valuable you know!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Happy birthday Sakura! This is dedicated to my fave character in the Naruto series! Yay! And remember to check out my sneak page for more info!**

**Disclaimer: Guess what? I finally found out the name of Naruto's creator! Naruto and friends belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Asuka belongs to Asuka-Rui-Uchiha. Yoshie belongs to… well, Yoshie, and Electra and Ryu belong to me. This is completely fan-made. Thanks enjoy and I think this is the longest disclaimer I have ever done! Woot!**

Chapter 21

New and INSANE Shinobi special!

Happy Birthday Sakura!

I carefully tied the note to Ryu's leg and let him free. After he was out of sight, I went back to my room and brought back Kabuto.

"Yoshie! Kabuto's here!" I announced. She smiled, and approached Kabuto. I grinned in understanding and took my place next to (the still passed out) Asuka.

"Kabuto? I'd like a–" Instead of ordering a piece of cake. She punched him in the face with her perfect chakra control. The impact woke Asuka up immediately. I told Kabuto to give Orochimaru a message for me and he left, glaring daggers at Yoshie as he passed through the door. Five minutes later, he came back, saying that the answer was yes. I told the girls to pack up.

"Where are we going?" Asuka asked drowsily.

"Let's just say, we're going to see an old friend…"

'_**Tis here there'd be a time skip in which the two unsuspecting shinobi follow me to... somewhere…**_

"Are we there yet?" Asuka complained.

"Yup," I nodded.

Before us stood the gate of the Leaf Village.

"Now, the only problem we have: Get in with getting attacked." I muttered.

"Allow me…" Asuka led us to the entrance, and when the guards asked for identification, (realizing too late that it was Asuka and I) she used her Sharingan to put them in a genjutsu, and cast another one over them to make sure no one suspected anything.

We hid in nearby trees and I gave them each a bundle of cloth.

"Orochimaru wants us to wear these, and it will help make sure no one recognizes us right away."

_**Clothes description! Skip to the next line like this if you don't care what it looks like!**_

I wore a pink, flowing dress that got longer on my left side and shorter to my right. There was a split on the right to make it easier to get to my weapon case. A black, satin-like tie wrapped around my waist and had a pink luster to it. There was a black-pink bow in the back. The same material of black fabric was draped around my shoulders, collarbone and shoulder blades. Black-pink gloves that went from below my fore arms and down were held up by pink ribbons. I wore black-pink stockings and black sandals. I removed my Sound Headband and replaced it with a yellow-striped blue bandana and wore my hair in its usual high ponytail.

Asuka's dress was a light red-brown with a blue strip at the waist. It split in the front and became flowing near the bottom. Uchiha fans were depicted on the sides and a blue stripe ran across the hem of the dress. Darker red-brown fabric made an inner skirt and shorts. The hem of the inner dress was also lined with a blue stripe. Another strip of blue ran across the collarbone and light red-brown fabric extended up from it and covered the shoulders. In the middle of this was an Uchiha crest pin. She also wore short, blue boots and dark red-brown gloves with a blue line at the elbows.

Yoshie wore a shirt similar to Sakura's, but it had black instead of white. She also had black elbow protectors. Her skirt's fabric was short in the front and long in the back. The fish-net material extended from the skirt and wrapped around. The skirt design was like Sakura's in the first season. She even wore boots that were like Sakura's.

_**The clothes description is over! You can read now! Everybody cheer! Yay!!!**_

We tried to look as normal as possible, even taking off our headbands, even though no one would bother looking twice. Even going so far as to casting a weak genjutsu while slinking past Ichiraku's. We even had to hold Yoshie down and keep her from diving into the ramen booth.

"Let…mph…me….pfm…RAMEN!!!" Yoshie somehow got away from us and we made a run for it. Everyone would think Yoshie was some kind of tourist.

After a while, Yoshie caught up to us. We stood in front of a building.

"Why are we here?" Yoshie asked, slurping up the last of a noodle.

"It's someone's birthday today, and that someone is one of my close friends…" I said, knocking on the door.

"Konichiwa! How may I help…?"

"Yo Sakura! How goes it?" I greeted. "Can we come in?"

"H- Hai?" I entered as if I hadn't ever left the village and the other two trailed behind me.

Sakura and Yoshie stood face-to-face, as if trying to remember something, but not quite doing that.

Blink.

Blink.

Stare.

Stare.

Realization.

Realization.

"Cousin Sakura!"

"Cousin Yoshie!"

The two cousins embraced and started yammering about people I didn't know and the like.

"You've got to be kidding me! Am I the ONLY person who doesn't have a relation in Konoha!?!?!?" I yelled.

Sasuke, Naruto and the rest of the Konoha 13 (and sensei) came out from Sakura's kitchen, holding some kind of edible food/drink item in their hands.

Blink.

Blink.

Panic.

"Someone call the ANBU!"

"It's the traitors!"

"Let's youthfully defeat them here!"

"It's the neko!"

"It's Asuka!"

"It's Electra!"

"IT'S SAKURA'S BIRTHDAY SO JUST TOJIKOMERU**(1)**!!!!!!!" I screamed. Luckily, Sakura's house was in a secluded place, so no one heard us.

"Look, we just came here to celebrate Sakura's birthday, and after that, we'll leave and you can forget everything. And Sasuke, you should be more polite to your twin**(2)**!" I yelled, gesturing to Asuka at the end.

"Twins?" Everyone asked.

"Oops, I just let that slip out!" I apologized.

_***Insert a bunch of explaining and convincing of the Konoha 12 (and sensei) to not fight us here***_

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Sakura! Happy birthday to you!" We (at least MOST of us) cheered.

Sakura blew the candle and made her wish.

_***Insert a bunch of gift giving here!***_

"Now what?" Awkward silence…

"A gay baby was just born!" Asuka yelled.

Stare.

Stare.

"What? Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born!"

"Let's name all the fake sayings that we know!" I suggested.

Stare.

Stare.

"You could just say no…"

Stare.

Stare.

"I think they still don't trust us…" Asuka muttered.

"No shit Sherlock!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, Cousin Sakura? I'm hungry!" I think you all know who said that.

"Ramen!" Naruto ran back to his apartment and brought back 10 packs of ramen. I clicked a timer that appeared out of nowhere.

"10 seconds! That's got to be a new record!" I motioned for a high-five.

Silence.

Silence.

"This isn't as fun as I was hoping…"

"Hey! Let's have a ramen eating contest! If I win, you stop treating Asuka and Electra like that and if Naruto wins, we'll leave right away!" Yoshie piped up randomly.

Silence.

Silence.

Who else is getting tired of this?

"Sure." I never figured out who said that, but all I know is that that person made my day!

-

-

-

"Ready?"

"Set!"

"Go!"

Naruto and Yoshie quickly downed their ramen bowls, and since we had ten in total, they each had to eat five. Which is barely anything for both of them.

"Naruto! Naruto! Naruto!" Most of the Konoha 13 cheered.

"Yoshie! Yoshie! Yoshie!" Asuka and I cheered. You could barely tell that Yoshie was in the lead. They each had a hand on a buzzer that they would ring when they finished.

"Naruto!"

"Yoshie!"

"Oh yeah! I win! In your face!!!" Yoshie did a weird dance with a straw on her head.

"Wow, she must have amazing balance to keep that straw from falling off…" Sasuke said. Yoshie bit Sasuke.

"A deal's a deal, could you stop treating us like some of the other Konohonians treat Sasuke?" I asked.

"Hn."

"I mean, you welcome Sasuke back with open arms and you want us to bug off? I'm kinda offended," I said, annoyed.

"I know!" Asuka added, "because he's so much more funny, social, friendly and MUCH more well versed in vocabulary than WE are!" She exclaimed. You could literally SEE the sarcasm!

"That's going too far." Yup, Konoha's resident ice cube.

"Oh, like it's not true! Welcome back! For today at least!" Sakura smiled. "Any friend who would go so far to get away from Orochimaru and sneak through our security system is a friend to me! Even if they're a traitor!"

"See Sasuke? If you were more like us, Sakura wouldn't hate you so much!" Asuka said, flashing a peace sign.

"Hn."

"Oh my god!" I started "hyperventilating".

"Sasuke's vocabulary is STUNNING!" Yoshie "praised".

"Hn."

"What mastery of the art of vocabulary!"

"Whoa, where'd that like that makes Sasuke look like he's glowing come from?"  
"I brought it here, youthful friends!" Lee did his "good guy" pose thing.

"Ahh!!! The light! It burns!!!" I dived underneath the couch.

"How can one person have so much toothpaste?" Asuka asked, pointing to Lee.

"I don't know Asuka, I don't know…" Yoshie sighed.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get this party started!" Tenten exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

Asuka suddenly collapsed to the ground and screamed. She held her neck.

"Asuka? What happened?"

"She's hurt!"

"What the?"  
We all crowded around her, Sakura making her way to the center of the circle.

"A curse mark…" She informed. I saw Sasuke reach up to his own.

"When did he?" He asked.

"Yesterday, Yoshie tried to help her; we don't how to seal its power."

"Kakashi did it for me."

"Doesn't she have to go shirtless for that to work? No way we're letting a perv going near her. No offense," I added quickly.

"I know how," Sakura said, they went into a different room.

"The same day we found out she had the Mangekyo…" I added under my breath.

-

-

-

Asuka and Sakura came back out in a few minutes. I was glad they broke the silence. I noticed that Asuka had an odd circle around the mark.

"Can we party now?" Kiba asked.

_***Insert hours of partying here because I'm too lazy to make up whatever happened…***_

"Soo… What did you girls do today?" Orochimaru asked in his disgusting sing-song voice. I lifted my head from my kneeling pose.

"We visited a friend."

He smiled that malicious smile. I glared through my bangs. I remembered something I overheard Shino say to Kakashi during the party.

"_Sometimes she's so serious and other times she goofs off. Like a split personality."_

I guess now was one of the times I was serious.

Yoshie and I saw his eyes linger for a moment. Asuka didn't see, she was too busy trying to resist the curse mark.

"_My seal isn't that powerful, so it might not be effective. If you're not careful, she could die." Sakura warned Yoshie._

We saw his smile turn into a frown as he stared.

At the seal.

Around the

Curse mark.

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = Shut up**

**2 = Asuka's creator and Sasuke have the same birthday, so I'm making them fraternal twins!**

**Yay! I hope you liked it! Review please! Wow, that was short, but this bit is making it longer! Yay!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Not sure if this is bad or good news, but chances are that the next chapter won't come out for two weeks. I'm going to Costa Rica and my mom's against bringing this laptop. Sucks, doesn't it? Well anyways, sorry it took a while. Review this story if you hate writer's block too. And I got a short disclaimer this time!**

**Disclaimer: Only Electra/Ryu.**

Chapter 22

Phase 1: Kabuto

We were sent here for a reason. We've been trained like ninja, we were now full-fledged shinobi. But that's not all we are...  
"Hey! What's up?" I greeted Kabuto as he entered. He looked at me suspiciously.  
"Since when are _you_ nice?" He asked.  
"C'mon, Kabi-kun!" I winked,

"We're going to be working together as Orochimaru-_sama'_s minions, so we gotta get along!" I explained. I seemed happy and go-lucky, but in the inside I was cursing Tsunade. But I guess she chose Asuka and I (and later Yoshie) for a reason.

-

-

-

"How exactly are we going to do this?" I asked.

"I dunno, I may be the Human Calculater, but this is hard…" Yoshie complained. "Do you smell a llama?"

"Hmmm… it DOES smell like llama…" Asuka answered, sniffing the air. Kabuto walked in. Yoshie was instantly in front of him, observing Kabuto like some new kind of food she had come across.

Sniff.

Stare.

Look.

Leer.

Poke.

Raised eyebrow.

Bite.

Scream.

Yoshie held onto Kabuto's hand with her teeth and put her hand around her chin in her "thinking pose".

"Yup! It's a llama using a transformation jutsu!" She replied. Yoshie gave him a good, clean punch. The "llama" didn't transform back.

"Well that's a start…" I whispered to Asuka.

"I'm not a llama!"

"Yes you are! We all know that you smell like llama!" Yoshie exclaimed.

"He does smell like llama…"

-

-

-

"_He's coming!"_**(1)**

"_Shhh!"_

"_Shhh, yourself!"_

"SHUT UP!!!"

"_Well THAT worked out nicely…"_

"He's looking around; he's heading towards you Yoshie!" I whispered into my comms units. The spy things that agents put into their ears and press on it to hear/speak.

"_Hi Kabu-kun!"_ She piped merrily.

"_Will you stop with the names?"_

"Annoyed with nicknames… check…" I crossed out a box on a (very long) list.

"_Will you take these to Orochimaru-sama?" _I heard Kabuto ask through the comms units.

"_No thanks!"_ I heard a small, static pat and a sickening crack.

"Twist his arm… check… Now, according to the tracking device, he's headed towards you, Asuka."

"_Hi But-kun!" _Yes, that's the best Asuka can come up with? I pressed my index and middle finger against my comms.

"Yoshie, work with Asuka on the nicknames…"

_*click, click, click*_ Well, at least she's good at the clicking…

"Continuously click tongue in his ear…check…"

"_Electra? Why do you get the fun one?" _Yoshie whined.

"First of all, you're the only one who got to physically hurt him, because you wouldn't let me… "_Because I'm gonna murder him!_" my ass!" I mimicked

"_Is that the point?"_

"_Yes Asuka, but then we wouldn't get any fun."_

"_That is true, that is very true…"_

"And second of all, I'm the star of this fanfic."

"_That is also true, that is also very true…"_

"Boo!" I jumped out of my hiding place and pushed Kabuto's back.

"AHHHHHHHH!!! RAPE!!!"

"AHHHHHHHH!!! HE WANTS ME TO RAPE HIM!!!" I screeched back. I ran to Orochimaru's room. "Kabuto's not gay for you anymore..." I whispered in his ear before running off again. He sweat dropped.

I ran back to Kabuto, Yoshie and Asuka catching up along the way.

"Kabuto!" I yelled in my lecturing voice. "How could you be gay for me???"

"You're a man?"

"…"

'_Don't annihilate, don't annihilate…'_

"…"

"…"

Smirk.

"You mean you AREN'T a woman??" I finally said. Kabuto's smirk fell. "because in an ANBU bingo book that Yoshie stole, they defined yours and Orochimaru's gender as female…"

"WHAT!?!?!?" Yoshie pulled out the bingo book. Kabuto grabbed it and quickly flipped through the pages of assassinated shinobi. His and Orochimaru's pages were across from each other. Gender:

Female.

Kabuto ran away screaming.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I wonder when he'll realize that we made that bingo book…"

-

-

-

"What's that thing that's been in _there_ all day?" Kabuto questioned, scratching a _certain_ area.

He looked around carefully…

Placed his hands around his waist…

Took off…

'_Ahhh!!! My eyes!!! My virgin eyes!!!'_

His…

Pants…

And…

Underwear…

Yoshie whipped out a camera and turned off the flash, taking pictures. Probably for black mail.

Kabuto removed a small chip from his under garment. He held it to the candle light.

"A tracking device…" He flicked the chip into a nearby flame. He turned towards and started putting on his pants.

'_Ahhh!!! My eyes!!! My virgin eyes!!!'_

"Now for the icing on top of the embarrassment cake…"

Asuka snatched the camera from Yoshie and played around with the settings. Flash on.

Asuka put the up to her eye.

Aimed.

Finger on button.

Click.

His briefs were up to his knees, his face so red that Sasuke would be tempted to eat the tomato-colored skin. Kabuto's eyes were bugging out, glasses almost on the edge of his nose. Or in other words…

Hilarious.

This was INSTANT blackmail material.

I went down my checklist.

Tell him we must get along. Check.

Say he smells like a llama. Check.

Bite him. Check.

Annoyed with nicknames. Check

Refuse to do work. Check.

Twist his arm. Check.

Continuously click tongue in his ear. Check.

Call him gay. Check.

Confirm his gender is female w/ fake bingo book. Check.

Take picture of bottom half. Check.

Use picture as blackmail…

"Ok Electra! I sent it to Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi…" Asuka continued.

Check.

Cut off his ponytail…

"Behold!" Yoshie entered with a handful of silver hair.

Check.

"Did he do it yet?"

"No…"

I flipped back to the front of the list **(2)**.

One thing remained.

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = Most of the italics are what Electra is hearing through the comms units**

**2 = the complete packet is about 5-10 pages long. What they did in this chapter was on the last page. **

**Imagine Electra sitting on the side of a road (in an expensive evening gown) playing the banjo (diamond encrusted) and next to her is a (ruby studded) dog bowl (clean as soap) labeled "reviews for the poor?" (In fancy script).**


	23. Chapter 23

Finally! I finally can write/type again! Sorry I didn't update as quickly as I usually do. I was away for vacation (Costa Rica wasn't as good as I thought) and my mom didn't want to bring the computer. So I spent my (excessive) free time coming up with this and the next chappie. Now, I have a question, do you guys like Electra's point of view, or would you prefer third person?

**Disclaimer: Anything mentioned, copied or used in this fic belongs to their respective owners. This fic is completely fanmade.**

Chapter 23

On a Scale from 1 to 100

I stood there in my room. Thinking, waiting. For what? I'm not quite sure. I'm not even sure when I decided to do this. I removed the kunai from its holster. I held it up to my neck, my hands shaking. I swallowed and my throat touched the cool medal of the knife. I lowered it. _'But what if he needs me…?' _I shook my head. _'He'll be fine without me' _I swallowed again and drove the kunai into my throat…

-

-

-

"So girls… since he hasn't done _it_ yet, we shou-

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!" A scream interrupted my question. We ran towards the direction of the yell. We burst into the room. On the floor, in the middle of the room, lay Kabuto's body. In his open hand a suspicious kunai knife glinted. Blood drenched. A deep wound into his throat had killed him. I pulled out the list and checked the last box on the last page.

Make him commit suicide. Check.

-

-

-

"C'mon! Pleeeeeeease???" I begged.

"No."

"Wow, just as well versed in vocabulary as my brother," Asuka said, flopping on her bed.

"No."

"Is 'no' the only word you know?" Yoshie said, putting her hands on her hips.

"No."

"Uh-huh…" We chorused, giving him the I-don't-believe-you-now-tell-the-truth look.

"Well, anyways," I continued, "Can we hold a funeral for Kabuto, your right-hand man, your most faithful servants?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Please, please, please?" We repeated this over and over again. "Please, _please, PUH-LEASE??????_" We begged.

"No."

"…"

"How about now?"

"Fine."

"Oh my gosh! 'No' isn't the only word he know!!!"

"…"

-

-

-

The piano player performed a sad, sad song and everyone was dressed in black. Guren, Yuukimaru, Orochimaru…

"Was 'sup peoples!!!" We burst into the room wearing things no one expected. Bright orange, yellow, red, pink dresses. Fancy, feathery hats. Outrageous boots.

"How much longer do we have to wear these clown suits (not literally)?" Yoshie complained through clenched (smiling) teeth.

"Can we come out of these poses?" Asuka inquired. I nodded stiffly. We ran around the room tossing around bright flowers. We approached Kabuto's coffin, placing orange lilies on it **(1)**. We skipped away happily. Orochimaru rolled his eyes. Guren had to do A LOT not to laugh. Yeah, Guren, laugh, scary.

'Tis here there'd be a time skip of approximately 5 hours because there's a lot of people in the Sound Village.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day!" I typed on the key board. Orochimaru walked in.

"Where did you get those!?" He hissed.

"We ordered them from your bank account!" Asuka piped.

"I have a bank account!?" He seemed angry.

"You do now! And we gave the delivery dude the address of this place just in case we need something else!" Yoshie added.

"What!? And what the heck are you doing!?"

"We're emailing each other!" I answered merrily.

"You're in the same room!"

"Yeah, but it's a waste of breath to talk to each other that way. And besides, this is good practice for our fingers!" Yoshie said.

"How?" The Sannin seemed reeeeeally annoyed.

"With our hand seals, duh!" Asuka gave him an unimpressed look. Orochimaru grew angrier and angrier every second.

"Pack up your stuff, we're leaving!!!" He roared. "Now everyone knows where we are!!!"

"Not everyone!" I tried my "calming voice", which doesn't work to often because of the things that come after it. "Just… everyone in the Leaf Village because that's where the delivery guy… comes from…?"

-

-

-

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"… How 'bout now?"

"No."

"Wasn't he using words that _weren't _just 'no' like, 5 hours ago?" I asked. Yup, we've been hiking for 5 hours in a forest in kami **(2)** knows where.

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

Insert 2 hours of continuous "Are we there yet"s here!!!*

"Are we there_ yet_?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Yes?"

"Really, really, _really_?"

"YES!!!"

"…"

"Positive?" Orochimaru growled and pulled out some of his hair. We gave our things to our servants-

'_Oh yeah! Personal servants baby!'_

-and walked through the entrance of our new hideout.

"Here is your new room, stay out of trouble, etcetera, etcetera…" Our servant left quickly. Once we were left alone I started to talk.

"Yoshie my dear friend…" I started. Asuka and Yoshie started to panic.

"She's using _possessives_! And the word _dear_!!!" Asuka started hyperventilating.

"… On a scale from 1 to 100…" I continued.

"Oh my gosh! She's using _the scale_!" Yoshie started backing away.

"I give you a 99," I finished. Yoshie knit her eyebrows in confusion.

"Why not a 100?"

"Because I haven't committed suicide yet."

Japanese etc.

**1 = I read on a flower language website that orange lilies symbolize eternal hate**

**2 = I think "Kami knows where" is like "God knows where"**

**Have you read this fic? Probably just skimmed it. Did you review? Yeah, don't really think you did (but that doesn't mean I don't want you to!). Did you enjoy it? Yeah, the chances of that are less likely of me not having a dream without flying, purple, magical elephants. Unless it's a vision, but then that wouldn't really be a dream, huh?**


	24. Chapter 24

Hello peoples!!! How goes it? Uh, yeah, read and review, although you don't have to necessarily enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Only Ryu and Electra.**

Chapter 24

Phase 2: Orochimaru Status: Complete

I ran. Ran as fast as my legs could carry me down the candlelit halls. The twists and turns taking me farther and farther away from_ them_.

"Helloooooooo???" _She_ called. I ran faster. My hair whipped behind me.

"Come out, come out where ever you are…" _Her_ voice called mockingly. I quickly maneuvered around the next corner, hard to do with the momentum I had gathered. I raced into a room and swiftly slammed the door. Breathing heavily I hid in a dark corner away from the candles in the room.

"We're coming…" An absolutely _evil_ voice warned. There was only one way to end this torture. The sword flashed red-orange from the tiny flames. With a shaking hand, I firmly grasped the hilt of the sword and held it arm's length away from my body. The tip touched my chest. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and plunged the blade through my heart. I fell to the ground and everything seemed to go in slow motion. The last thing I saw before the darkness, the sparks of the candles going out and the whisper of their smoke fading…

-

-

-

"He's dead?" I asked the servant. "Orochimaru committed suicide?" He nodded. The servant left to inform the rest of Sound.

"Time to make our escape?" Yoshie sat up on her bed. I turned around from the closed door with a Sasuke-esque smirk.

"Time to make our escape."

-

-

-

"Shouldn't we have sent Ryu ahead of us? So I don't have to use my Sharingan and we don't have to sneak around?" Asuka asked worriedly.

"Yeah, we should've, but having all the guards and ninja chase us around is more fun!" Yoshie explained, racing up to our side.

"Geez! Why are guys so slow!?" I complained (sarcastically) from the back of them. We continued to run and leap across the treetops, heading for the Leaf. We came to a screeching halt as we approached the gate.

"So long since we've been here…" I sighed nostalgically.

"We were here less than a month ago…" Yoshie shook her head.

"First to get to Tsunade's office?" Asuka challenged. Yoshie and I nodded.

"You're on."

-

-

-

"I'm starting to regret not sending you ahead!" I told Ryu. I flattened my back against the alley wall. A large group of ninja passed me.

"She's over there!"

"I could've sworn she went that way!"

A blue ball bounced towards my feet. To my right was a little boy holding his hands in a position that looked like his just dropped the ball. He shook with fright. I saw that next to my face was an inconveniently located WANTED sign with my face on it.

"Shoot…"

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

-

-

-

(Asuka POV)

A girl, probably jonin, confronted me. She wore a mask and had four buns. A tomboyish girl. She looked like a cross between Kakashi and Temari.

"You're on almost every wanted poster in Konoha. Surrender or I will be required to use force." She said in an almost robotic tone, brandishing a kunai. I settled into stance.

"Bring it." We lunged at each other. I flipped over her at the last second. I whipped around to face her. I spread my fingers apart and stuck my thumbs in my ears. I waved them and stuck out my tongue. She looked really angry.

"See ya later sucker!" I teased, leaping away. The kunoichi threw her kunai at me. I ducked and turned to mock her again.

"You missed me, you missed me! Now you got-" I crashed into a billboard advertising The Icha Icha Paradise movie.

-

-

-

(Yoshie POV)

I leap-frogged over a ninja, nearly falling off Konoha Hospital. I jumped off the edge and used my chakra to stick to the wall. I ran across the window of a surprised patient. I met another ninja on the side. A snoring old lady didn't see us fighting outside her window. A nurse came in, panicked and screamed. Tsunade entered and saw only feet outside the window. I punched the ninja off the building and positioned myself so I could see through the window. I flashed Tsunade a peace sign and stuck out my tongue.

-

-

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(Electra POV)

I quickly headed towards the Hokage building at full speed. There was no sign of Asuka or Yoshie. I was in the clear. I ran towards the entrance, glad that I built up my endurance while with Orochimaru. I dived for the door. I opened it and I ran up flights and flights of stairs, pumping chakra to my legs. I grabbed the handle on the door.

-

-

-

(Asuka POV)

I leapt across Kami knows how many roof tops, heading for the tallest, reddest tower. I landed on the roof before the clearing that introduced Tsunade's home. I saw Electra running in and Yoshie still a bit behind me. I leapt to the roof of the building with a huge chakra boost. I started running down. I heard footsteps. I was right above the Hokage Office.

"Fireball Jutsu!" It hit the ground and I jumped down.

-

-

-

(Yoshie POV)

Asuka and Electra were both ahead of me. I ran up to the rooftop that Asuka was on just moments ago. I went to the very back edge of the roof. It was a long shot for an advanced ninja, but for an advanced ninja _with_ perfect chakra control; let me tell you. Jumping across a humongous gap is a piece of cake. I ran, pumping chakra into my legs, I jumped, aimed, dove, I was flying.

-

-

-

(Electra POV)

"I win!" We shouted in unison. Yoshie came crashing through the window. Asuka jumped through a hole in the roof. I assumed she burnt that hole into existence with a fireball jutsu. I was the only one who entered in a civilized fashion. Okay, well, maybe knocking a door off its hinges _isn't_ the most civilized fashion to present yourself to the Hokage, but it was the most sophisticated thing out of all of us.

In the room stood all of the Konoha 13 and sensei. They all stared at us and began to attack.

"Rasengan!" I quickly ducked and Tsunade shouted:

"Stop!" they all looked at her. She ignored them as we came to her desk. "I would assume you completed your mission."

"Hai, Orochimaru and Kabuto are dead." The rest of the shinobi in the room gasped.

"You killed Orochimaru _and_ Kabuto?" Sasuke let his cool drop for a second. Did you know he replaces Chuck Norris in multiple videos of The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny made Naruto/anime style? Yeah! Bet you didn't know that!

-

-

-

"Electra? Once again. _Off topic_"

"Yeah, hehe… sorry 'bout that…  
-

-

-

"We didn't kill them." Everyone in the room gave us a what-the-heck-are-you-talking-about-look.

"I guess we owe them an explanation…" I said. Asuka raised her hand and bounced up and down.

"Yes, let's see… Hmmm… no one wants to tell?" Yoshie looked around the room carefully.

"Me, me, me, me!" Asuka waved her arm wildly.

"Oh, Asuka?"

"Yes! Okay, when Orochimaru invaded Konoha, Tsunade gave us the mission to get "captured" by Orochimaru and "join forces" with him. We were to, quite literally, annoy him and Kabuto to death. She would've sent Naruto, but Orochimaru already knew him. It would be best to send those who were powerful, annoying and new on this mission. Powerful, because if Orochimaru tried to destroy us, we could defend ourselves. Annoying for previously mentioned reasons and the same for new!" Asuka explained.

"But why not just kill him yourself?" Naruto asked.

"I'll take this one," Yoshie covered Asuka's mouth. "if we just killed him, we wouldn't have built up our ninja skills. The Leaf and Sound would've also been at never-ending war." Everyone nodded in understanding.

"So… now what?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Wanna go out to ramen? My treat?"

**Reviews for the poor? **


	25. Chapter 25

NOOOO!!! MY LIFE IS SO WRONG!!! NINJAS ARE BETTER THAN SPARTANS!!! MY FIRST CHAPTER WAS DELETED!!! I GIGGLE LIKE KAKASHI WHENEVER I SEE SASUKE SHIRTLESS!!! THERE ARE SO MANY OC'S!!! I HAVEN'T STARTED MY PROJECT!!! I MUST MAKE THINGS RIGHT!!! I LOVE THIS CAPS LOCK BUTTON!!!

**Disclaimer: Everything in this chapter and fic belongs to their respective owner. This is COMPLETELY fan-made!!!**

Chapter 25

Enter Kira Misha

"It's so good to be home again!" I yelled, falling onto my bed. Asuka had moved in with Sasuke into the spacious Uchiha household. Yoshie moved in with Sakura.

"Do you ever feel alone Ryu?" He nudged me with his beak. "Not to be Sasuke-ish or emo, but life sucks." I rolled over on my stomach and buried my face in the covers.

-

-

-

"So what's our new mission?" I asked Tsunade.

"Since you just got back, I think I'll give you an A rank mission. Let's see how well Orochimaru taught you."

"Just an A rank?" Asuka questioned.

"We completed a S rank mission, and under a month!" Yoshiro complained.

"Yes, but you're still Chunin. You just met the conditions for the mission."

"Fine, who's on our team?"

"You'll find out, meet at the torii gates at noon."

"Hai."

-

-

-

"What's taking the rest of the team so long?" I complained loudly.

"I bet it's Kakashi-sensei. I don't think he's ever been on time in his whole life!" Asuka added. We heard a little poof.

"On the contrary Asuka, I was always on time when I was 12." Kakashi had popped out of nowhere, as usual. The only thing that wasn't usual, was the person he brought with him.

"HEY! You're the person who tried to stop me from getting to the Hokage's office!" Asuka pointed, recognizing the mysterious character.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that misunderstanding. All of Konoha was under the impression that you really were the criminals! Even Shizune thought so!" The girl said apologetically.

"So, um… who are you?" Yoshie asked. Kakashi swallowed, I could tell that he was hoping that she wouldn't ask that.

"I'm Kakashi's little sister!" She exclaimed, punching Kakashi on the shoulder.

"You never told us you had a sister!" I shouted, clearly distraught that my "favorite" sensei didn't tell me he had any living relatives. "You said everyone you ever loved was dead!"

"I _did_ say that. I _don't_ love her. And do you think if I wanted to tell you that I had a sister, I would've told you that already?" He said, pulling out his book.

"Great, just what we need, _another_ pervert. So, where's your book…?" Asuka gave the universal sign for 'do you mind continuing the sentence'. The girl cocked her hip and stuck her nose up in pride.

"Name's Kira Misha Hatake. And the only time I would _ever_ even _dream_ of touching those… those _things_ is when I'm burning them!" She argued in utter disgust, underneath her mask you could see the shadows shift to an extent so that you could safely assume that Kira Misha's tongue was sticking out at Kakashi. Said sensei was sweat dropping.

"You know what?" Yoshie said, pulling a blade of grass from the ground, completely oblivious to what was going on. "Tsunade never told us what our mission was."

"Our mission is to retrieve a scroll from the Rice Country. It's an A rank because the scroll is highly valued by other shinobi. Fortunately, the Feudal lord who has possession over the scroll is expecting us." Kakashi stated lazily.

-

-

-

"We'll set up camp over here," Kira Misha plopped her bag down in the clearing. "Yoshie will get some fruit and stuff, Kakashi will get some fish from the river, Asuka can get us some water and Electra will set up a fire!"

"What will you do?"

"I'll supervise!" What a lazy what-cha-ma-call-it.

A few minutes later…

"I've got the fire going," I said, sitting down on my sleeping bag. Yoshie had brought back a whole lot of fruit, Kakashi some fish and Asuka brought a lot of water. Kakashi speared each fish with a stick and placed them around the fire. Looks like we're having fish tonight…

A few minutes later…

The fish were ready and we were going to eat. Kakashi raised his fish to his mouth. My ninja instincts kicked in, and I could tell that Asuka's and Yoshie's had too. Higher. Higher. Kakashi's hand went to his nose and started pulling. Lower. Lower…

He turned to the side and started eating.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I yelled. Kakashi turned around again.

The mask was on.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Asuka and Yoshie joined me with my yelling of the 'No's. Kira Misha pulled us away.

"You want to see Kakashi's face?" She asked, reaching into her weapons bag.

'_Oh my gosh! She's got a picture!' _ That annoying, lovable voice squealed inside my head. She slowly pulled her hand out. More. More. More!

It was a kunai.

"Come here." She motioned for us to follow her back to the encampment. She sat by something that I saw was a rope. I noticed the dent in the berry basket. I saw the-

"Hey, Kakashi! The girls want to see your face!" Kira Misha went direct.

'Geez, thanks for beating around the bush…'

"Oh they do? Oh well." He reached for another fish. "And you will not show them."

"Fine." Kira Misha pouted. A shadow clone appeared behind Kakashi and pulled his mask down. I saw only flashes of what happened.

I saw a lot of the skin of Kakashi's face.

I saw the kunai in Kira's hand slice the rope.

I saw berries launch out of nowhere.

Once everything was clear, it was hard not to laugh. Kakashi's eye was bugging out in the classic anime style. His hair was stained with blueberries and raspberries, as was the rest of him. The skins of the berries littered his face and that, combined with the juice, pulp and seeds of the fruit effectively hid his face in an almost perfect reproduction of his mask. His gravity defying hair hung around his face and it barely looked silver anymore.

Of course we laughed.

Kakashi just got up and left.

"Nice Kira Misha!" I high-fived her. We all laughed again. I stifled a giggle when Kakashi sat down again. Kira Misha grinned the troublemakers' grin.

'_What's she gonna do this time?' _I noticed that he was wet, probably washing himself off. I saw the food, which made me think of cheese, which made me think of yellow, which made me think of-

"Aaaaaarg!"

Lightning.

Yup, Kira Misha shocked Kakashi, who was wet. Could you help but laugh? Well maybe if you were Neji or didn't see it, but it was _funny_.

"What? I didn't show them your face!" Kira Misha laughed.

"Let's go now," Kakashi said, getting up to leave. We didn't even get to camp yet.

-

-

-

"FINALLY! THE RICE COUNTRY!" I threw my hands up in the air and breathed in the Rice Countrian air. Guards suddenly surrounded us.

"State your business here," a tall, lanky one demanded, putting a spear against my stomach.

"The Hokage sent us. The feudal lord is expecting us," Kakashi said.

"Oh yeah," the other, fat one grinned, "He's expecting you alright, just not in a friendly way. He withdrew his spear to thrust it towards Kira Misha. She jumped and landed on the heavy spear.

"You guys are like the fucking Spartans, so predictable," she flicked a paper bomb on his forehead.

Boom.

His guts exploded around the area, the most graceful way to die. Kira Misha back flipped onto the shoulders of the other guard. She did a handstand on his head, and flipped down, kicking his head in the process. **(1)**

"Take this!" she unleashed a blinding jutsu.

**Japanese etc.**

**1 = Fave move from fave character in my fave fighting game! **

**Yeah, just review. And I would like KMH (Kira Misha Hatake) to stop "spamming" my review board? Onegai? Please? Or I will kill you? Well, I'm gonna beat you up later so…**


	26. Chapter 26

It's time to face the cold hard truth… I'm obsessed. With what? I have no frigging idea. Probably Naruto, reviews, food, reviews, this fanfic, reviews and cheese. Yeah, I'm also… apparently, someone who constantly loses her train of thought…

Disclaimer: No, actually, I don't own Naruto, Asuka or Yoshie. Or Kira Misha. I only own Electra and Ryu. End of story.

Chapter 26

That Damn Scroll

"Crab! Look out!" I alerted my team. To the left (yet) another shinobi threw a paper bomb at us. To the front, kunai, to the back shuriken, and to the right… whoa, is that dung? Gross!

We kept on running. And running. And guess what, more running. So after more running, dodging explosives, sharp objects and smelly objects, we (finally) made it to the feudal lord's estate.

"I call dibs on outside guards! Wait here!" I exclaimed, running into through the gates and (literally) through the guards. With a Chidori of course. While I was in there, all that could be seen outside the walls were flying waves of electricity, embers of fire, wisps of plasma and… apparently heads… I don't remember beheading people…

"'Kay guys! I took care of 'em!"

"How can such a deadly girl look so innocent?" Kira Misha asked, walking in through the gates. I kicked open the locked doors and smiled.

"Years of practice, sixteen to be exact!"

We ran (why must ninja run so much?) through the twists and turns of the mansion. Kakashi would occasionally take out a few ninja at a time. Asuka and Yoshie knocked another few out. Kira Misha just went out and killed all the rest.

We came to a heavily equipped safe. I blasted it open with a Chidori. There, in a glowing light, lay…

A doughnut.

"Maybe this is the dessert safe?"

"I think we're looking for _that_ safe…" Asuka pointed to another safe right next to the dessert one, labeled 'Safe Vault' in large, red, bold print.

"Some ninja we are, huh?" Asuka laughed.

"So…"

"I call dibs!" Kira Misha whipped out a scroll and unwound it. She sliced her thumb on a kunai and ran it across the scroll. "Summoning Jutsu!" A snow leopard appeared.

"What can I do for you, Kira?" she asked.

"Yuki, I need you to blast through this safe. I want a big boom."

"Yay! Explosions!" I exclaimed, throwing up my arms in excitement. Everyone looked at me. "I'm just gonna… wait over here…"

The summon blasted a hole in the safe. In the room there was but one scroll, in the center, on a pillow. And this time…

"Hey! The glowing light is shining in the right place this time!"

I grabbed the scroll and made a break for it. I didn't run this time. I _flew_. Of course I didn't ditch my team. I was sure to yell

"See ya at Konoha!"

and

"See ya later suckerz!"

at pointing ninja from the Rice Country. I always _was_ known for my indescribable manners!

There be-ith five minutes of my flying in the air, headed to Konoha…

"No, I didn't abandon them. I merely left them in the middle of a mission!" I corrected Tsunade. She broke the empty bottle of sake in her hand.

"Same thing."

"Well, _technically_, abandon means to leave them without telling them. I told them!" And just then, the rest of them came into the room. "Took you long enough! I should've taken the scroll with me!" I shook my head.

"So Tsunade, what's so important about this scroll that other ninja want it so much?" Yoshie asked. I just then noticed that Yoshie was acting spacey lately. Totally out of it, she wasn't acting like the food-loving, mental neko I know her to be…

"Hang on, you said that the feudal lord was expecting us!"

"I did, I never said that he meant it in a nice way."

Kira Misha's and Tsunade's fighting broke my train of thought. I cut in.

"SOOO!!! 'Bout that scroll!" I said in the tone that says 'shut-the-hell-up'.

"Yes, it's said to contain the ingredients for one of the Akatsuki's poisons. Sasori's to be exact. A jutsu has sealed it and can only be released by someone who has healed the poison before."

"That's Sakura, right?" I asked. On cue, Sakura walked into the room.

"What was it that you wanted me for?" She asked.

"Open this scroll."

"Ok…" She took the scroll skeptically from Kakashi's hand. When she pulled the first bit open, her arm recoiled as if a snake had bitten it. The scroll fell to the ground and unrolled itself.

"Creepy…"  
Tsunade got up and picked up the scroll. After examining it, she nodded.

"Okay, you may leave." Didn't have to tell me that. I left quickly.

-

-

-

After doing my daily chores, I settled down on my bed. Ryu alighted on my shoulder.

"Training?" I asked him. His brown head nodded. " 'Kay, let's go."

**When I didn't have an account, I never understood why people wanted reviews so badly. I know now. But Kira Misha's "reviews" are more ANNOYING then rewarding. Yup, review, unless you're Kira Misha.**


	27. Chapter 27

Hey! I've got good news and bad news! From now on, the story will be in third person and the chapters will be longer and awesomer! The bad news is that I won't update as quickly… But then again, I'll still update more than some of the other people on here! Well, I'm still going to need more ideas about what to do! And And this is crucial, do you want Itachi to live or die?

**Sasuke: DIE!!! KILL ITACHI!!!**

**Sakura: You **_**do**_** know it (SPOILER ALERT) is not Itachi's fault that your clan was murdered…It was the elders…**

**Sasuke: …**

**Me: So should Itachi live or die?**

**Disclaimer: Oh. My. Gosh. Get this, I DON'T own Naruto! I did NOT see that coming!**

Chapter 27

Swallow Your DAMN Uchiha Pride!

"Hey Tsunade! What's our mission today?" Naruto came in yelling, as usual. Sasuke and Sakura trailed behind him, with annoyed faces. Tsunade threw her sake bottle at him.

"Wah! Baa-chan! What cha do that for?" He sobbed with anime tears pouring out.

"Hey Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura. Long time no see!" An oddly familiar voice greeted.

Tazuna.

The man they escorted to the Land of Waves to finish a bridge. Team 7's first C-rank mission, which turned out to be A-rank. With Inari, Haku, Zabuza…

"Tazuna here requested Team Kakashi," Tsunade said, "Your mission is to bring him back home; I assume you know where that is, to finish a bridge."

"Is it another life-changing bridge?"

"No, just a fancy bridge for a rich guy's garden. But Gato's heir hates that rich guy, you remember Gato? And speaking of Team Kakashi, where is Kakashi?"

"I remember Gato!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Actually, we're not sure where Kakashi is, do you know Sakura?" Sasuke said, ignoring Naruto, as usual. Sakura shook her head. Another voice came.

"Kakashi's on a S-rank mission, I'll be taking his place." Electra dropped from the ceiling she had been walking on. Tsunade smiled, turning back to Tazuna.

"I know I don't have to tell you this, but you'll be with two of Konoha's most blood-thirsty ninja." Tazuna raised a confused eyebrow.

"Okay, I know there's Sasuke, who's the other one? It can't be Sakura or Naruto," He responded. Electra answered with an over exaggerated voice.

"Why, I'm touched Tsunade! You consider me bloodthirsty! I'd be honored if you didn't put me in the same category as Sasuke here." She said, her voice suddenly becoming dull, as she jabbed her thumb in Sasuke's direction.

"Ohh! Nice! Emo burn!" Naruto yelled, high-fiving Electra.

-

-

-

"Let's do this! Dattebayo!" Bam. Sakura and Electra did a double uppercut on Naruto.

"Shut up!" They yelled in unison.

"You guys haven't changed a bit." Tazuna laughed. Sasuke just shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked, proving Tazuna's point. They marched off to the Land of Waves…

-

-

-

"Are we there yet?" Surprisingly enough, that _wasn't_ Naruto. Oh yeah, I bet you though t that was Naruto! And no, it wasn't Electra either. It was none other than… Uchiha Sasuke.

Gasp.

Yup, the Uchiha with _endless_ patience. You must know that meant that they have been walking for a long time. He pointed at a fallen log.

"I know I've already seen this log." Sakura pointed to a nearby lake.

"And we've passed that lake _at least_ three times!" The ninja took a defensive stance around Tazuna, speaking at the same time.

"Genjutsu. Kai!" Many rogue Cloud ninja came out of the tree.

"Give us your stuff and we won't have to hurt you!" The shinobi who appeared to be the leader of the thirty or so ninja spoke.

"No, I don't think so." Sasuke and Naruto leapt away and Electra carried Tazuna onto the lake. Sakura pounded the ground with her super-strength, making the terrain more rugged than before. Several of the rogue ninja fell into the ditches, trapping them. Some of them were crushed underneath the heavy stones.

"Nice!" Tazuna grinned. "You've gotten better since the last time I saw you!" Sakura smiled sweetly.

"Arigato!" She called. One of the Cloud ninja growled.

"Lightning Style: Lightning Ball Jutsu!" He shot an orb of lightning at Sakura. Sasuke bit his lip.

'_I won't be able to get to her in time!' _Sakura heard the electricity crackling and (slowly) turned towards the sphere of buzzing chakra. Her eyes widened before she (slowly) side-stepped. Naruto saw what was happening, he and Sasuke were too far.

It was too late…

Or was it?

"Look out Sakura!" Electra pushed Sakura back and stood in the line of fire. Er… I mean lightning… Or fire? Or maybe it would be lightning… Hmmm…Well, anyways…

The bolt disintegrated in front of her face. She grinned with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Sakura! Take the defensive position! Sasuke and Naruto, offensive!" Electra directed, (being assigned the team leader by Tsunade) tearing through a ninja with her Lightning Blade.

'_The old man's got the loot, that's why they're protecting him.' _

The head shinobi weaved past Sasuke and Naruto. Electra transformed her blade into an arrow and it sparked with electricity. She aimed and shot it at the ninja. Electra missed.

'_No way! I've never missed with that attack before!' _She ground her teeth, leaving her weapon to disintegrate into nothingness; she transformed into a peregrine falcon and flew after him. The shinobi was headed towards Sakura and Tazuna. Electra dive-bombed towards him, but she missed.

"Kuso, why can't I hit him!?" Electra's temper flared as she transformed into a lynx and lunged again. When she missed, she growled fiercely. Fierce enough to make the rogue trip and stumble. Fierce enough to allow Sakura to get Tazuna out of the line of fire.

"Take this! Cha!" Sakura concentrated her chakra to her fist and swung at the rogue. He swiftly arranged his hands in a hand sign. Sasuke's Copy Sharingan instantly activated and he turned it on the ninja, catching all the movements.

"Cloud Mirror Jutsu!" a gray storm cloud formed in front of the rogue and a mirror took shape in the center. Sakura's fist went through the mirror as if it were water. A force made of Kami knows what fired back at her with equal energy. Sakura flew back into the lake with a splash. The water droplets rose and fell onto the surface of the lake, blurring Sakura's unconscious body as it floated down into the entanglement of plant life.

"Sakura!" Sasuke, Electra, Naruto and Tazuna shouted at the same time. The Konoha ninja gathered around Tazuna.

"Sasuke, Naruto," Electra began, deflecting a kunai. "Do either of you know CPR?" Naruto shook his head 'no' but Sasuke nodded. "Okay, go save Sakura! NOW!" Electra yelled, pointing to the lake.

"W-why? Don't you know CPR? Can't you do it?"

"Yeah, but _you_ are the one that's going to do it."

"Why?"

"Think about it, out of you, me and Naruto; only you and I know CPR. You are going to do it, because I'll be better defense against the enemy."

"I'm just as good!"

"SASUKE!!! Stop arguing! Swallow your DAMN Uchiha pride and SAVE SAKURA! Now GO!" Sasuke had an emotion on his face. Not love, sadness, annoyance. Not worry, anger or any other named emotion. He just ran and jumped into the lake, reaching out for Sakura. Sasuke kicked his legs furiously, forcing them to propel him further into the depths of the lake. He stretched his arm out farther; Sakura was just out of his reach. Her body gently settled on the bottom her hand the last thing to float down. Finally, Sasuke reached Sakura, pulling her onto his back. He was running out of air, quickly, he pushed off the rocky bottom off the lake and rocketed up towards the surface.

'_Almost there…' _Sasuke's mouth opened, but only a little, a trail of bubbles escaped.

Air.

'_Just a little further…' _He could see the rays of sunlight dancing on the surface of the water, he could…

Make it. He gasped for air, hauling Sakura onto land first, and climbing out after her.

Klink

_Klink_

His team was still fighting, only the head ninja was still standing. The rest of the rogue ninjas' corpses littered the ground, blood spilling everywhere. Electra's arms and legs were splattered with blood, giving her a gory appearance. Naruto's clothes were soaked, they were hardly orange anymore. If Sasuke didn't know them, he would've thought they were cold-hearted killers instead of carefree, go-lucky shinobi.

"_Save Sakura!" _Sasuke could hear Electra's voice ring in his ears, but her mouth didn't move. He looked at Sakura's unconscious body.

"Do either of you know CPR?"

-

-

-

Only a couple minutes later, Sakura was coughing up water and shivering. She swayed slightly when she stood up. All the enemy ninja had been killed. Fifteen to two and Naruto and Electra still won.

"Sakura, are you alright?" Naruto asked, blue topaz eyes flashing with worry. Sakura put her hand to her forehead.

"I think I'm alright…"

"We should stop and rest," Sasuke suggested. Electra sighed.

"Preferably in a non-blood-stained area."

-

-

-

Sakura proceeded to healing any wounds that the team had received. They changed into less blood-covered clothes and washed off the blood that remained on their skin.

"Why would so many ninja be traveling in such a large group? I'm completely out of chakra!" Naruto whined, kicking back.

"I know what you mean, I'm totally exhausted!" Electra fell to the ground, rocking back up and crossing her legs Indian style. "They came out of nowhere! It bugs me that thirty ninja would be all together in a group!" Sakura interrupted our mini-rant.

"Okay guys! Ramen is ready!" Naruto's ears perked and his tongue hung out.

"Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!" He chanted, racing off to the campfire. Forty-nine bowls of ramen later, we slept. We continued in the morning.

-

-

-

It was day two of the mission. The team stopped at a hot spring resort **(A/N Sorry! Couldn't resist!)** to spend the night. Luckily for most of them, it wasn't a mixed bath. The boys and girls settled and relaxed at their designated areas. 45 minutes later…

"Let's go Sakura." Naruto crawled over to the wall dividing the genders; snickering all the way.

"He's not going to… is he?" Tazuna groaned. Sasuke smirked.

"He was never known for being mature." Meanwhile, Naruto had found a peeking-hole. And in case you were wondering, it was a cheap (but nice) place. Naruto saw Electra and Sakura emerging from the mist and water. Suddenly, a coffee brown eye blocked his peeking-hole. "No looking you pervert!" Electra's clone hissed before disappearing and electrifying Naruto.

Back with the less perverted boys…

"It's been a long time since I've been to a hot spring…" Sasuke said nostalgically.

"When was the last time you went to a hot spring?" Tazuna asked. Sasuke gazed thoughtfully through the thick fog.

"I believe it was three years a go when we were trying to unmask Kakashi…" Tazuna raised a brow.

"And how did that go for you?" Sasuke hung his head.

"Try failed miserably."

With the girls…

"So Sakura," Electra began.

"Yeah…"

"Mmmhmm…"

"So…?"

"Yeah…"

"Uh…"

"Most intellectual conversation ever?"

"Yeah…"

"So…"

Back with the boys…

Sasuke smirked and laughed internally as Naruto was electrified by their crazy teammate.

'_Swallow your DAMN Uchiha pride!' _Electra's voice once again rang in his ears. His smirk fell into a frown and his broad shoulders drooped.

'_Swallow your DAMN Uchiha pride!' _Was he really that bad? Bad enough that she would yell at him? Bad enough to cuss in English instead of Japanese? She never cussed in English unless she was really mad.

'_Yeah, I'm that bad…' _He decided eventually.

"Hey, Sasuke? Earth to Sasuke! HEY SNAP OUT OF IT!!!" Sakura yelled in his ear. He had spaced out that he didn't notice that he had walked out of the hot springs and into their room. The hotel was so small, it was more of a motel, and they even had to rent one room for all five of them. Sasuke jerked back slightly and blinked wildly, signaling he had come out of his thoughts. Sakura sighed.

"Geez Sasuke, you've been spacing out a lot ever since we fought those ninja. Did something happen while I was knocked out?" Sakura asked half jokingly. Electra flashed an evil grin over Sakura's shoulder and right at Sasuke.

"Well actually, Sasu-" Sasuke's hand covered Electra's mouth, muffling the sound. He pulled her away to the bathroom.

"DON'T tell her!" Sasuke growled.

"Geez, back up a bit, I feel a bit uncomfortable…"

"Electra, if you tell her what you made me do I'll-"

"Whoa, get any closer and I'll scream 'rape' at the top of my lungs!" Electra threatened, pushing him away, although he didn't get much farther in the cramped bathroom.

"Hey! Do-"

"Not right now!" Electra shushed the person next to her.

"No real-"

"Shut up!" Sasuke glared at the person.

Naruto.

He was using the bathroom.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Well this is awkward…"

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The team completed their mission without any more difficulties. They were reunited with Inari and his mother. They also visited Zabuza and Haku's grave. Told Electra the story of their mission to the Land of Waves as genin. Reported to Tsunade and went home. Electra passed on the story to Asuka and Yoshie. Sasuke ate a tomato and fell asleep. Asuka played the classic whip-cream-in-hand-and-tickle-nose-with-feather prank. She took pictures and sent them to everyone she knew in Konoha. Sakura tried to cook and failed miserably. Yoshie took over and made peanut butter pancakes **(1)** with what was left in the pantry. They decided they would need to go shopping tomorrow. Naruto decided to mix things up; he ate Kim Chi instead of ramen. He decided ramen was better. Electra drew a random picture of herself killing people. She took out a deck of cards and shuffled them.

"Geez, why does Cupid have to be so picky? He specifically wants them to be together!"

"Cupid specifically wants who to be together?" Electra glared at the shadow.

"None of your business!"

Oh. My. Gosh. Who's the shadow? Is it a stalker? Orochimaru's spirit come back to haunt her? One of her missing friends? A person in a dream? A STALKER?!?!?!?!? Review please! Yes, even you Kira Misha, just don't spam. I want reviews that tell me what's good, not pointless things you can tell me at school.

**Itachi: Live or Die?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Have you ever written a chapter that seemed really good at first, but after you posted it and reread it, it sounded **_**horribly**_ **cheesy? Yeah, that's what I felt about chapter 14 (the Valentines one) and that's probably when most of you stopped reading this. Wait, then they wouldn't be reading this if they stopped already… Well, most of my readers probably stopped at the Kelly Clarkson song or at Chapter 14. And this will be the last chapter (unless need be) that will be in third person. Because it lacks the insanity of first person… This is a Yoshie-centric chapter, since about two people have "complained" that Yoshie didn't have enough parts in it. Oh yeah, disclaimer…**

**Disclaimer: For the 27****th**** time, I DON'T OWN NARUTO, ASUKA, KIRA MISHA OR YOSHIE!!! I ONLY OWN ELECTRA AND RYU!!! I ACCIDENTLY PRESSED THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO GO BACK AND FIX THIS!!! I LIKE USING EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!**

Chapter 28

Yoshie's Past

"I'm not in a good mood right now, you should leave," Electra hissed at the figure.

"Well, you should come to the Chunin exams." Asuka and Yoshie had entered the Chunin Exams while Electra was on her previous mission. They had passed the first and second exams with flying colors, and were currently training for the third part of the exam, which was tomorrow.

"Yeah, thanks for the heads up, now get out of here," Electra said, fingering a kunai. The figure stepped into the light and smiled.

"Sleep well, Electra-chan." She threw the kunai at the figure, which splattered into ink.

"You're cleaning up that Sai."

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"Are you guys ready?" Electra asked her friends. Asuka nodded, a flame bursting to life in her golden eyes.

"Ready to kick some ninja ass!" She said excitedly.

"And what about you Yoshie!?" Electra inquired. Yoshie fingered the key on her necklace thoughtfully.

"Yoshie?" The neko's eyes stared off into the clouds.

"OI! YOSHIE!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!" Asuka screamed in Yoshie's highly sensitive wolf ears. Nothing.

"Oh my gosh! It's food!" Electra yelped. Nothing. She and Asuka went to the nearest corner.

"What's wrong with Yoshie? She always gets excited when there's the mention of food…"

"I know, something is definitely up."

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"Katon: Karyuu Endan!" Asuka's infamous dragon raced out and destroyed her opponent…

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Yoshie shot her arrow and it hit home. She drew her sword and gracefully slashed at the ninja…

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"Aw shit!" Asuka complained when the ninja threw his kunai at her and it cut her arm slightly. She activated Sharingan. It all went downhill for the kunai-throwing ninja from there…

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Yoshie had spaced out for a while and her opponent managed to trap her in a genjutsu. But, once she snapped back to reality, the ninja didn't stand a chance…

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"Kudos guys! You made Chunin level!" Electra congratulated Asuka and Yoshie cheerfully in the Hokage's office. "You guys did great!"

"Thanks Electra! I'm so glad I got to kick butt this time!" Asuka responded, pumping her fist in the air.

"Uh… Yoshie?" Electra snapped her fingers in front of her face. Yoshie looked up at her tiredly and cocked her head to the side.Sasuke strolled in absentmindedly.

"Asuka, time to go home, if we don't leave now Naruto's going to bug you about your fights." That was enough for Asuka to open up the window and jump out in two seconds flat. Sasuke followed quickly, not wanting to meet up with Konoha's loudmouth.

"Hey, Yoshie? What's wrong?" Electra asked worriedly. Yoshie shrugged, averting her eyes. Electra knew from this posture that she was about to lie.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Electra wasn't wise enough to leave it at that.

"No, something's NOT right, what's wrong, you've been spacing out a lot lately! What's wrong!?" Yoshie's eyes snapped back to Electra's.

"NOTHING'S WRONG!!!" She screamed, tears streaming down her pale face. Electra took a surprised step back. "He's NOTHING! Stop pushing it!" Yoshie yelled again.

" 'He'?" Electra asked herself. Her suspicious eyes searched Yoshie's hurt eyes for some kind of clue. A familiar face was reflected in her watery eyes. "Is that you**-**" Electra's question was cut off by Yoshie's startled yelp.

"G-Gaara? I-is that you?" The neko stuttered with shock. Her hand flew to her necklace and she backed up until she hit the Hokage's desk. "No way…"

"Okay, I am TOTALLY missing something here!!!" Electra yelled, ruining the mood. Gaara pointed to the door.

"Can you leave us alone for a while?" Electra nodded, walking out of the room with a confused expression on her face. As soon as the door closed, Gaara turned to face Yoshie.

"Gaara…"

"Yoshiro, it's been a long time." She looked at the ground.

"Yoshie, it's Yoshie…" She corrected self-consciously. She played with the hem of her dress. "What's brings you here?"

"I've become Kazekage and I came to the Chunin exams, as did many other people. You've improved." Now usually, you would expect her to make some self-absorbed remark and say 'Of course I've improved, I'm the best ass-kicking neko there is out there!' but of course, she didn't.

"Something wrong? You don't seem like yourself." Yoshie stiffened, looking up at him slowly. Her emerald and sapphire eyes clashed with Gaara's jade, pupiless eyes. Yoshie wondered why Gaara hadn't raised his eyebrow muscle (seeing as he didn't have any eyebrows, Electra speculated that either Guy or Lee had stolen them) and questioned if that was her heart that was beating so loudly. She took a deep breath and relaxed, and Yoshie had yet to realize that Gaara was going through a similar process.

"I haven't seen you since… eight years ago was it?"

"I believe so."

"When you saved me from the fire?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Yoshie." Said neko raised her eyebrow. Unlike the other person in the room, she actually _had_ eyebrows.

"Of course you do, that's how we met. That's where I got the scar, remember?" She pointed to an area along her neck."

"All I remember is that I saw you laying on the floor and when you woke up, you had amnesia. I also remember that when you bite things, it hurts." Yoshie grinned sheepishly and ran her hand through her hair.

"Yeah… Sorry 'bout that…" Thinking that she was stable enough to walk and stand without the support of the desk behind her, she took a few steps closer to Gaara. "It's been so long… And I didn't think I'd see you this soon…"

"I'm honored, you thought of me." Yoshie's face flushed.

'_The way he says that makes it sound like there's something between us!' _She thought nervously. _'Why do I feel this way?' _

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"So Yoshie, what scar? You never told me about a scar." Electra said a few days later. Yoshie still seemed spacey, and she answered quietly.

"I got that scar about eight years ago in a fire. I was in Suna and Gaara helped me with his sand and-" She snapped back to reality. "Hold up! How'd you know about the scar, I haven't talked about it except to Gaara!" Electra laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head.

"Umm… You know, fly on the wall!" She tried to joke (failing MISERABLY!!!) and transformed into a fly. After she transformed back she added, "Sorry I brought it up, slip of the tongue!" Yoshie gave her a light punch on the shoulder.

"Slip of the fist,"**(1)** the neko said simply. Electra stopped and waved.

"See ya tomorrow!" She chirped, letting herself into her apartment. Yoshie nodded to her and walked slowly to the home she shared with Sakura. A familiar chakra signature wavered nearby.

'_Gaara?' _Her curiosity got the best of her and she followed the chakra signature to a red bridge overlooking a peaceful river.

'Okay, what kind of cheesy set-up is this?' Yoshie thought disgustedly, although a strange, warm and fuzzy feeling welled up inside of her. She felt blood rise to her cheeks when she saw Gaara leaning over the rail of the bridge.

'_I feel so stupid…' _Yoshie shivered uncomfortably. _'Something doesn't feel right…' _

"Gaara?" He turned to her. Unlike the eight-year-old child she first knew him as, his face looked serene, there was no sand that had cursed most of his life. "Did you want something?"

'What's wrong with me! Why is it that I can't act normal around him?'

She knew if Electra were around she'd stick out her tongue, wink and flip her hair. 'It's love! What else?' She'd say oh-so innocently. 'Gaara and Yoshie sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!' But then again, Electra had a policy, If Someone Thinks They Know You, Prove Them Wrong. The only thing that didn't change with her policy was, well her pol-

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"Wait! I'm getting off track!!! Why does this always happen!? Okay! Back to the darn story!!!"

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"Yoshie? Hey, snap out of it Yosh," Gaara said, snapping his fingers in front of Yoshie's face.

"KYAAA!!!" She screamed, acting on instinct, she bit down on his hand. And who wouldn't prance around like and idiot when a deranged neko just bit your hand? Hard?

"Yoshie! Let me go!" Gaara said; sounding really annoyed. Yoshie released, realized what she had just done and she blushed. She took a step back, her legs felt like jelly. It took all of her energy to keep her knees from knocking together.

"G-gomen …" she managed to stutter before racing off. Gaara just watched her go. Yoshie reached her door, unlocking it and closing it as quickly as possible. She took continuous deep breaths, not even bothering to turn on the lights. She leaned against the door for support and slid down to the floor. She gathered a handful of her dress and balled her hand in a fist. She put her head backwards, hitting the doorknob with her wolf-ears in the process.

"Kuso," She whispered dejectedly, "What's wrong with me?"

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Yoshie had gone to her room and plopped facedown on her bed.

"Yoshie!!! Ramen's here!" Sakura called from downstairs. The young neko lifted her tired head and called out weakly.

"I'm not hungry!" Sakura knit her eyebrows in confusion and headed toward the door to pay Ayame for the ramen.

"That's odd…" She whispered, closing the door. "Yoshie's _always_ hungry…" She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Sasuke?"

"_Sakura."_ He replied.

"Can you put Asuka on the line?"

"………_Yo! How goes it?"_

"Something's wrong with Yoshie…"

"…"

"Asuka?" Sasuke replied instead.

"_She went to call Electra and Kira Misha."_

"Why not use the line you're on?"

"_She's not that smart."_

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"What's wrong with Yoshie? I got here as quickly as I could when I heard!" Electra arrived at the Haruno doorstep, out of breath and one could see a few feathers disappear into her shoulder blades.

"Wow, you really care about your friends…"

"Yeah, skip that, what happened to Yoshie?" Sakura looked around cautiously before cupping her hands and whispering to Electra.

"Yoshie wasn't hungry." Electra gasped. Her eyes scream 'No way!' Sakura led her inside and to Yoshie's room. Electra entered carefully. Asuka was on sitting on Yoshie's bed and was patting the neko's back. Kira Misha sat on a beanbag and was writing a list of ways to torture her older brother. She would look up every now and then to shoot a concerned glance in Yoshie's direction.

"Yoshie?" Electra approached the bed. She sat opposite of Asuka. "What happened? How do you know Gaara?" Yoshie lifted up her tear-stained face and lifted her index and middle finger to Electra's forehead. Her eyes became hazy and she stiffened. She saw a blurry "vision".

She saw a fire, burning down so many buildings, some people burning, others desperately trying to put out the fire. She saw a little girl. Light, light brown hair that went down to her back. Wolf ears sprouting from her hair, a wolf's tail balanced the eight-year-old's small body. Yoshie. Something slashed her throat and she screamed. Mini-Yoshie fell to her knees and cried, holding her wound. A small boy came into view… he looked like Gaara…

"What happened?" He waited for no answer and his sand wrapped around Yoshie's petite body and lifted her up. She tore out of it and tried to bite, mistaking him for the enemy. And sand shield popped up, blocking off the neko's amazingly sharp teeth. She swallowed some of the sand and spit the rest out, giving Gaara a fierce glare. Yoshie coughed pathetically, definitely worthy of Gaara's pity at that moment. He hoisted the screaming girl on his back and ran into the surrounding woods…

A few blurry moments of the genjutsu passed by and Electra could make out a black choker on Yoshie's neck, covering up the scar that had healed on her neck. A golden key hung from it. Gaara was nowhere to be seen…

Electra woke from the genjustu, just in time to see her friend burst into tears. Not being one to make physical contact during emotional situations, Electra stood up and knelt down in front of Yoshie.

"What happened?"

**Japanese etc. **

**1 = stolen from precarious mind's fanfics called ****f a d e****, which is the absolute BEST SasuSaku fic EVER!!! It's my fave! Her stories are really good, check them out later!**

**Going back to first person (Electra) after this chapter… Now, Yoshie's also upset because people aren't reviewing, so if you review, you'll cheer up. Come on, I know you all love Yoshie!!! [quickly] But not in **_**that**_** way… REVIEW!!!**


	29. Chapter 29

Hello peoples, the story has gone back to first person, but I managed to include more details and is still long! Yay, problem solved! And if you have any ideas or want to see something, leave any suggestions (please no offensive stuff or overly perverted things) in reviews! And after rereading this, some of it seems kind of stupid…

Disclaimer: OMG!!! I DON'T OWN ANYONE EXCEPT ELECTRA AND RYU!!! I HIT THE CAPS LOCK ON PURPOSE THIS TIME!!!

Chapter 29

Sakura's First Kiss

The next day, Gaara had left and Yoshie recovered from her emotional breakdown. I wasn't supposed to have any missions today, so I slept in. Around noon I willed myself to drag myself out of bed and to the shower. I turned on the water, tweaking the knob to the right temperature. Twenty minutes later, I grudgingly stepped out. All of a sudden, and ANBU poofed himself in. I blinked, felt a draft, and remembered my exposed body.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!" I screamed, punching HIM out of the room. Yup, straight through the door and straight through my wall and into a bush. "AND YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!!!!!!!" I called out to the extremely injured ANBU.

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"Lady Tsunade!?" I burst through the Hokage's door. After I was decent, the ninja told me that Tsunade needed to see me. I bolted from my apartment after I heard 'Akatsuki'. I took a deep breath. "What's going on?" Sakura and Sasuke were in the room; Sasuke had a picture in his hand. Tsunade cleared her throat and spoke.

"I'm giving you an important mission." My head sagged a bit.

'So much for relaxation…'

"A dangerous criminal and her lackeys were captured yesterday. She confessed that she was an underling of Akatsuki member Zetsu." I gave an amused smile.

"Zetsu? Is he a plant?**(1)**" Sakura gave an equally amused smile.

"Yeah, he is."

"…"

"Electra?"

"Gee, thanks Sakura. You killed it." Sasuke rolled his eyes at me.

"Tsunade? The mission?" He said curtly. Clearly annoyed at my immaturity. She nodded and gestured to the picture in Sasuke's hand.

"This is a picture of Miranda, that's the woman I was talking about earlier, and her followers, Rita and West. Your mission is to pretend to be them and get information from Zetsu. Sakura's complexion best matches Miranda's, so she will be Miranda. Electra will be Rita and Sasuke, West. According to the real Miranda, you will meet Zetsu at an old tree at the edge of Konoha Forest. Do not do anything rash, find out why they want the Bjuu. Mission starts tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Use that time to look like your assigned person. Dismissed."

"Why do we have to look like them, why not use a transformation jutsu?" Sasuke asked "coolly."

"Because we're up against S-rank criminals. If we use a transformation, they can easily detect it and the mission will fail." Sakura answered, glad that she was able to look smarter than the famed Uchiha Sasuke. While she celebrated her mini-victory, Kira Misha came into the room.

"It'll be my job to help you look like those people," She announced. This is going to be a looong day…

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"Black hair for all of you…" Kira Misha muttered, taking three bottles of temporary (if there is even such a thing) black hair dye off the shelf. She looked at the picture. "Well that's all we need to shop for. Time to go to my place for the rest of the disguise." We followed Mish to her house (which, thankfully, she didn't share with her brother). She pulled three outfits identical to the ones that Miranda and her team wore. "Put these on." She ordered. I caught my outfit and went to a different room to change.

My dress was red and slit on both sides up to the hip; the actual dress went down to the middle of my lower leg. The top half was backless and my stomach was exposed, so only a sliver of cloth ran down the side. The collar was a v-neck and the sleeves were puffy and went down to my wrists, clinging to my skin with a gold band. A gold dragon decorated the entire dress. 'Slut' was the first thing that came to my mind after examining myself in the mirror. And after reading the personality sheet, I found that she was one. Oh, I looooooove that sweet, sweet irony… Of course I was the one who had to be the slut… The thing that would complete my slutty look was the hair, and the boatloads of makeup. Whoop-de-doo. Kira Misha dyed my hair black, styled it into a high-bun that made my scalp hurt like HELL, and put so much makeup on me, I felt more like a geisha than a shinobi follower. After equipping myself with the weapons that Rita wore, I didn't recognize myself anymore.

"Hello Rita!" Sakura's voice came pouring out of Miranda's mouth. Hair extensions flowed out of a high ponytail. Sakura's once bubblegum pink was now pitch black. Her jade eyes were now black and her clothing much less revealing than my own. She wore a violet/turquoise tie-dye-style shirt and denim capris. A white scarf wrapped around her hips.

"Wow, Mish did a good job…" I stared at the mirror image of Miranda.

"You look just like Rita." My head cocked to the side disappointedly.

"Yeah, I look exactly like the slut of the group." I whined. When Sasuke came, I didn't know if I should've squealed like a fan girl, laughed like the maniac I am, or comforted him. I decided on laughing like the maniac I am. Sasuke looked like a wannabe samurai warrior. But he wore sky-blue, no armor and had a golden dragon identical to my own. His hand rested on the sword that dangled "menacingly" from a belt. His hair was the funny part. Instead of the bird ass look, his hair was… down… No gelled up spikes or blue luster to be seen.

"Sasuke-kun looks so KAWAII!!!" Sakura squealed in a motherly way. He looked away and I could see the blush rising to his cheeks. I gave him a slightly sympathetic glance before going into "Anti-Sasuke mode".

"No matter how darn cute he looks, he's still a jerk." I said, fighting the urge to do exactly what Sakura- Ahem, I mean _Miranda_ had done. And that was reaaaaaaaaaaally hard. So there we were. The three evil minion of the fearsome pansy whose name was Zetsu. We are sooooooooooo scary.

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We leapt through the trees of Konoha Forest. Green and brown passing by in a dizzying blur. We stopped at the largest tree.

"You're late." A voice came. A black and white face that reminded me of the yin-yang sign materialized out of the tree.

"Gomen," Sakura apologized, bowing her head. Sasuke and I did the same.

"Miranda, what intelligence have you gathered for me about Orochimaru?"

"It seems that he and Kabuto had died a couple months back."

"Who killed them? The Uchiha boy?" I glanced over at Sasuke, seeing a light smirk at the irony. And honestly, who _doesn't_ love irony?

"They committed suicide."

"Why?" It was my turn to smirk at the irony.

"No one is sure."

"I see…" Time to make our move.

"Zetsu-sama?" Sakura asked, not a trace of intimidation in her voice. "Why did Orochimaru want the Bjuu?" The white side of Sir Petunia smiled a toothy grin.

"To use their power to change the world. Same as us, but he wants the Bjuu so he can rule the world, we're using it to bring peace." I was skeptical about this.

'_Demons of mass destruction to bring peace? Nu-uh. Unless it's some sort of messed-up version of peace.' _I thought dubiously.

"Is there any other way we can offer our services?" She asked the overgrown Aloe Vera. He (or it?) shook his (or its?) head 'no'. We left and headed back home.

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"Gotcha!" A snicker came out of nowhere. We were caught in a genjutsu.

"Kuso…" I whispered under my breath as I pulled out a kunai and took a defensive position. Sasuke started concentrating his chakra.

"Shar-"

"Wait! If you use that, it'll blow our cover!" Sakura warned. "Zetsu may still be watching!" Sasuke drew his sword and readied it. A cackle echoed off the trees and into our ears; it would be impossible to pinpoint the location of the noise, it was coming from everywhere.

"Miranda, come with me willingly and I won't have to hurt you."

"How do you know my name?" Sakura/Miranda yelled. A piercing pain jolted and flowed toward me. I fell to the ground. I couldn't move, I could barely think. Sakura turned her attention to me. "What's wrong?" She asked me. I honestly didn't know. She put her hands together in a hand sign.

"Don't bother." I managed to mutter. "The genjutsu's too strong. You won't be able to dispel it. This ninja is a genjutsu expert, just like Lee is a taijutsu expert." A searing pain ripped through my throat.

"Smart girl, able to speak even under my spell." The voice echoed. I blacked out.

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I woke up in a dark, murky cell. I felt like a criminal behind bars, and then remembered that I was disguised as one.

"Awake, huh?" Sasuke asked, sitting in the corner of the cell. I held my head.

"Ugh, what hit me?"

"We were hit with a powerful genjutsu."

"Is Sakura awake yet?" I asked, squinting to see through the darkness.

"She was taken away for interrogation." He said, an edge of aggravation in his voice.

"Do you know which country took us?" I asked, thinking of other things I needed to ask to catch up on the news.

"It seems that it's the Sound Country."

"Oh beautiful…" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. One of the guards came by with Sakura in hand.

"Now pretty lady, you stay put," He said, throwing Sakura roughly into the same cell as us. Sasuke and I caught her before she hit the floor.

"Kuso…" She whispered before turning to the guard who had thrown her down. "DAMN YOU!!!!!!!" A small tear ran down her cheek. Sakura got up to her feet and lunged at him. Sasuke grabbed her firmly on her arm and pulled her back. The guard laughed and walked off.

"What did he do to you?" I asked. I felt very concerned for her well-being. "No…" A rather disturbing thought came to my head. "You must feel so violated…" I patted her back. Sasuke's mask slipped and his face looked like he was about to puke. I could tell since his eyes were bugging out and his face turned blue/green.

"No, not that… he… stole my first kiss…" Sasuke's face went back to its original stoic expression.

"You're crying, because he stole your first kiss?" He shook his head.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…" I consoled, glaring at Sasuke.

"What's the big deal?" Sasuke obviously didn't understand at all.

"Every girl wants to have her first kiss with the boy she really likes. They want to save their first kiss for that special person…" I explained knowingly. "I'm pretty sure you wanted to have your first kiss with someone _other_ than Naruto." His eyes bugged out again.

"You know about that?" I nodded.

"Of course I know, everyone within our age group knows."

"That's embarrassing…" I couldn't help but smirk.

"Of course it is." I went back to comforting Sakura. "I feel really bad for you Sakura, it must be horrible to have shared your very first kiss with a greasy low-life like that loser."

"Well… actually…"

"Hm?" I faced Sasuke for a fraction of a second before going back to Sakura.

"Her… First kiss…"

"Mmmhmm?"

"It…It was…"

"For Kami's sake! Just spit it out already Sa- I mean West!" I screamed, catching myself before I blew our cover. And Sasuke called _me_ annoying. Although, it was a rather curious case, for Sasuke to… stutter like that…

"Her first kiss was me." My mouth fell open. Sakura stopped crying as soon as those words came out of his mouth.

"Geez, Miranda, close your mouth before the bugs start nesting," I muttered, trying to lighten the surprise in the room.

"Talk for yourself, Rita," She shot back.

"Well, forget us, what about West? Why would you tell such an…extreme lie?"

"I'm not lying."

"…"

"…"

"HAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one! I almost believed you! You could be a very successful actor some day!" I laughed. That has got to be the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. And trust me, I've heard a lot of funny things…

"I'm serious, why would I tell a joke." I snapped back to reality. Sasuke? Jokes? That's on the next to impossible list. Sasuke? Kisses? _That_ was on the _next to_ the next to impossible list. So, looking at it logically, I must assume that he was telling the truth** (2)**.

"B-but……you……kissing……Sakura…… I-it's just not……probable……"

"You know what else isn't probable? A crazed kunoichi determining what's probable and what's not." Sasuke smirked.

"Touché" I mumbled.

"Sasuke…… when did you…?" Sasuke…was he… BLUSHING!?!?!? No. Way. This is one of those things that go on the 'Things that Should Never Happen' list. Yeah, I get bored and I make lists. Sasuke blushing was number two. Number one is me and my friends going sane. And number three is- *record player scratch sound* How is it that I always get off topic?

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A few minutes later, we were all able to recover from that (horrifyingly surprising) piece of information. And of course, it would go against my personal code to leave Sasuke alone after that.

"When did you do it? Why did you do it? Was Sakura awake? Did you do other thin- mfgh!!!" Sasuke covered my mouth with his hand. And there's always one way of dealing with the hand-over-mouth situation.

I licked his hand.

Because of human nature, the person (in this case Sasuke) will pull their hand away from the victim's (GO ME!!!) mouth. Simple. Of course, this doesn't work with Deidara, unless you enjoy frenching…

"You're so immature."

"That's what they tell me!" I chirped happily. "So, the kiss?" Sasuke's shoulders drooped and he averted his eyes. He was hoping we wouldn't remember.

"The day I left, I knock-"

"Yeah, yeah-" The greasy guard who kissed Sakura walked by "West, Miranda told me what happened that night, get to the point." I snapped, saving Sakura from a painful memory.

"I laid her on the bench, I don't know if it was hormones or something, but I…"**(3)**

"You? Hormones? Hahaha!!! That's _funny_ for someone like you!" I laughed, because honestly, Sasuke and hormones? Might as well say me and sanity! Oh my gosh that's a scary thought…

"It's true," He whispered in a low growl.

"Whoa, defensive much?" The rest of our time in our cell was spent rather quietly. Sasuke would sit in the right corner closest to the door. "To watch for danger," he said. Sakura curled up in the opposite corner, her glance traveling to Sasuke every once in a while. I would jangle my chakra-restricting chains trying to find some why out of it, to no avail of course. That greasy, low-life loser would pass by and give Sakura an appreciative look, Sasuke had to do his best not to destroy him.

"How long are we going to stay here?" I whined, biting at my iron chains.

"Until they decide what to do with us, we're stuck here," Sasuke answered. I rolled my eyes and snorted.

"Tell me something I don't know."

-

-

-

Three days of water and bread later, Greasy came by and unlocked our cell. He pulled us out roughly by the chains and led us away.

"Where are you taking us?" I demanded.

"Our leader wants to talk to you."

"Who could their leader be?" Sasuke whispered.

"Hello Miranda," A high-pitched, annoying voice came out of the shadows. An ugly redhead came out, dressed just as much as a slut as I was. "Remember me?" Well, Sakura didn't know who she was, but I can assume that the real Miranda and Ms. Whore weren't on very nice terms.

"No," Sakura's face showed annoyance and disgust.

"It's me! Karin! We used to work together as jailers?!" 'Karin' seemed really pissed. Sakura tapped her chin mockingly and "deep in thought."

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell." Karin growled and screeched.

"I'm the one you called useless and annoying before you left to join Zetsu's underlings!?"

"Oh yeah! How's it going, Bitch!?" Sakura slapped the girl on the shoulder with a small fraction of her super strength (she couldn't use too much because of the anti-chakra chains), Karin screaming out in surprise. She fell flat on her face.

"She is useless and annoying…" I whispered.

"Hey you bitch! Don-" I interrupted

"You shouldn't call yourself 'bitch' and talk to yourself, I hear it's unhealthy."

"Why you… KILL THEM!!!"

"Kuso… It'll be hard to fight without chakra and with our hands behind our backs…" Sasuke muttered. I nodded and flexed my hands.

"We'll just have to manage."

I crouched down and lunged, head butting one of the smaller guards. I stumbled back and leaned against one of the damp walls for support.

"I'm not doing that again…" I shook my dizzy head and refocused on my next target; an armed man with a sword. Oh. Shit.

He took a swing at my head; I acted on instincts and ducked down. I stuck out my right leg and swung it at the guard's (off-balance) legs. He fell on his face, his sword following him down. I back flipped and rebounded off the wall before it cut my head in two. I felt a snap near my wrists and felt warm blood flowing down. I landed steadily on the guard's (now bleeding) head. My wrists were free from their binds thanks to the (unusually) sharp sword's blade. But in the process it had slit a small cut on the sides of my wrists. Since there were only a few guards (Sasuke personally taking care of Greasy, possessive much?) in the first place, there was only one person left.

Karin.

"So Bitch, ready for your beating yet?" 'Miranda' asked after I undid 'West's' and hers handcuffs. Karin's glasses slid down her nose and she realized she was no match. She ran down the hallway leaving behind a faint 'Mark my words Miranda, I'll get you!' for us to hear.

"Mission complete, let's go home!" I announced, marching off in a random direction. "Uh… Which way is home?"

-

-

-

"Finally! Home at last!" I threw my arms open, as if presenting the Leaf Village.

"Tsk, annoying." Sakura giggled.

"Geez Sasuke! Lighten up a little! I'm very appreciative to be out of that rat hole and back in civilization!"

"Stop standing around like idiots and let's go report to Tsunade!" I yelled, which is 'Hurry up so I can go bug people' in Electra Speech. The other two followed to Tsunade's room.

-

-

-

"Surprising, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, who would've thought that my brother had hormones?" Asuka sighed. Yoshie nodded vigorously.

"And that he would kiss Sakura!?" Kira Misha shook her head.

"Well, that's another thing to check off on the 10 Signs of the Apocalypse list."

"Huh?"

"Electra-chan has a list of the 10 signs of the Apocalypse. She gets bored easily." Yoshie explained.

I crossed 'Sakura with normal colored hair' off. I ran my hand through my hair, which was back to its original color.

"Tomorrow is going to be a long day…" I said, leaning against the wall of my apartment's window seat. The other three looked at me from their seats at the coffee table. Kira Misha tilted her head.

"What makes you say that?" I closed my eyes and pointed to the arrangement of taro cards on the table in front of the seat I was originally occupying.

Japanese etc.

**1 = Zetsu means leaf… I think…**

**2 = I've been watching the Chronicles of Narnia lately :)**

**3 = This was in a ****doujinshi, very sweet!**

I enjoy fortune telling, so that's that last part there, I actually have no idea what's going to happen in the next chapter! REVIEW!!!


	30. Chapter 30

I is bored and has a bad case of . . . Bum, bu-bu-bu-bum!!! WRITER'S BLOCK!!! So for my sorry gift, I give you an extra long chapter that was 7-8 pages long on word. I give really good sorry gifts, don't I? Like I gave one of m friends $100 for a sorry gift once. I cut it short because I ran out of ideas. SO GIVE ME SOME FUCKING IDEAS ALREADY PEOPLE!!! Thank you! –sweet smile- Nejiten if you squint!

**Disclaimer: I only own Ryu and Electra, Naruto and included characters all belong to Masashi Kishimoto, yada, yada, yada . . .**

Chapter 30

Team Bonding: Guy

"Team bonding huh?" I asked tediously, kicking my feet up on the chair next to me. Tsunade had called us into her office before we could go to bed. With Asuka, Yoshie and I recently rejoining Konoha, we didn't go through quite as much emotional predicaments as the rest have with each other. To strengthen our bond (and hopefully prevent anymore rogues from emerging from the Village Hidden in the Leaves) and make sure we work well together. Since I was late, I would get "punished". While Asuka and Yoshie were spending the whole day with Team Kakashi, I was getting "punished" by spending my first day with Team Guy.

"No killing, beating up severely or running away. Get to know each other better, train together, understand the other's weakness, yada, yada, yada…" I repeated Tsunade's instructions monotonously. She nodded her head.

"Tomorrow."

"I knew tomorrow was going to be a long day."

-

-

-

"YOUTH!!!" Lee and Guy-sensei pumped their fists into the air at the same exact time. They reminded me of twins; perfectly in sync, looked like each other, acted like each other… except one was older, didn't have as many bandages, and had different eyes and facial structure.

"Do they always do this…?" I asked Tenten. She nodded and slapped her forehead lightly. Neji rolled his eyes and leaned against my doorway. It was 12:01.

In the freakin' morning.

I rubbed my eyes and threw a chair at Guy and Lee. I turned over on my bed and muffled their voices with my pillow, snuggling into the warmth of my dumpling-patterned blanket. A sudden draft of cold air made my body shiver, the warmth rushing out of my body. I rolled onto my back and lifted my pillow from my face. Neji's hand lifted my blanket out of my reach. Tenten sat on the chest (full of scrolls and such) at the foot of my bed. I threw my pillow at Neji's head.

"You're such a hamster."

-

-

-

"Run! Run! Run!" Lee chanted, racing past me. My hair whipped in my face from the speed. I jogged up next to Neji and Tenten. The muscles in my legs burned with fatigue.

"Who jogs at 1:00 in the morning of their own free will?" I said, my voice almost breaking.

"Lee and Guy."

"Those guys need to go to a mental hospital more than I do. . ." I inhaled heavily. We passed the tree marking the point that meant we had finished our early morning run around the Leaf Village. I groaned and crossed my legs, leaning my head against the rough bark of a tree.

"What are we doing next?" Tenten deadpanned. Guy-sensei didn't seem to notice how tired we (as in me, Neji and Tenten) were.

"We are going to do five hundred push-ups!"

"FIVE HUNDRED!?!?!?!?" I screamed, my voice course. My eye twitched and birds scattered.

-

-

-

"Four hundred and eighty-nine!" Lee counted off. It took me all my energy not to slap him. Which wasn't very hard to do. I barely HAD any energy left, it was like the feeling you had after getting released from a super powerful genjutsu.

"Four hundred and ninety!"

"Do you guys do this _every_ day?" I asked between deep breaths. Neji shook his head 'no'. Tenten's arms looked shaky as she answered.

"Four hundred and ninety-one!"

"Yesterday we did sit ups."

"Four hundred and ninety-two!" Being _slightly_ beyond over competitive, I didn't stop doing push-ups. I glanced at Rock Lee through my bangs and rolled my eyes, bending my arms.

"Four-hundred and ninety-three!"

"How you guys stand doing this every day?"

"We don't." I raised an eyebrow.

"Five hundred and ninety-four!"

"Wh- huh?" Another Tenten and Neji walked out from behind a tree in the forest we were working out in. The other Tenten and Nejis in front of me wavered a bit, as if they were about to disappear.

"Four hundred and ninety-five!"

Everyday they used clones.

And everyday Lee and Guy never found out.

_I _didn't find out.

"Four hundred and ninety-six!"

I sweat dropped, and it wasn't from working out too much. I cast a quick and simple genjutsu, making a clone and running to the other two before the illusion diminished. Yup, that's right, I learned a new (big) word today. Diminished. Yeah . . .

"Four hundred and ninety-seven!"

"Why didn't you guys tell me?" I asked, wiping sweat off my forehead. Tenten shrugged, smiling faintly. I felt like a little kid who just found out that Santa Claus wasn't real.

"Four hundred and ninety-eight!"

"We thought you would be able to figure it out on your own."

"And when that didn't work out?"

"Four hundred and ninety-nine!"

"It was funny watching you." I put my hand over my face in my I-can't-believe-you-guys pose.

"You guys…"

"Five hund-" Lee had collapsed in a pool of sweat, our clones and Guy gathering around him.

"I'm sorry Guy-sensei, I wasn't able to do five-hundred push-ups!" Lee whimpered, his bug-eyes welling up with anime tears.

"It's okay Lee, you did your best."

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"How can there be a sunset at 3:45 in the morning?"

-

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-

The first rays of light were beginning to peek over the Hokage Mountain, reminding me of Mount Rushmore back home in America. The glow bathed the leaves a pale green color, and the dew drops on the ground acted as mini-prisms for the white light. The whisper of the crisp breeze rustled the plants gently. A monarch butterfly fluttered past my face, leaving a scarcely detectable current of air in its wake. The first birds were flying across the cloud-hung skies, the sunlight reflecting off their luminescent feathers. The lavender and turquoise sky fused together in perfect harmony. The scene was like a perfect picture from a skilled artist, the tranquility almost dreamlike. It was all so calm and serene . . .

"LET'S DO THIS!!! YOUTH!!!"

Except for the kicking maniac tied to my back.

We were doing some kind of exercise involving the "synchronization of taijutsu attacks" and "teamwork".

Neji and Tenten were having more luck than I was.

Lee kicked his legs up in the air, flailing them about while cheering about youth; forcing me to support the weight of both of us.

"Lee! Calm down would ya?" I screamed, my legs struggling to hold us up. Of course, Lee and I were having a _little _problem syncing our movements (I didn't beat him up yet because of Tsunade's instructions and Misha's threat. If I let my anger get to me, I would get sent to anger management classes. Just like in the third grade . . . I'm also not allowed to have flashbacks either. At least not in this chapter!). I had no idea how Tenten and Neji were able to time their movements perfectly, moving in complete and utter harmony across the obstacle course. They were even able to block and counter Guy's attacks. They worked together flawlessly; weaving between sparring logs and leaping from rock to rock. Lee shifted our weight so he was on the bottom and I was on the top.

"I won't lose to you Neji!!!" he exclaimed, jumping from our place on a tall and narrow fence to a metal pole that was just as tall and had a diameter of about three centimeters. Guy tried to kick me, but I was just barely able to deflect the attack with my leg. When he wasn't able to find a weak spot on my side, he turned to Lee. He swept kicked Lee from the pole and the spandex-wearing idiot lost his footing, sending us spiraling into the water below. Oh joy.

Did I mention the water was freakin' cold?

Yeah, I'm talking close to freezing. Which was supported by the slush floating by my half-submerged face. See I _never_ over exaggerate! . . .Well, I was over exaggerating when I said I _never_ over exaggerate, but . . .

I kicked my legs furiously, pushing both our weights to the surface. Lee seemed to be knocked-out. Trying to swim to the bank was harder than I thought, and I thought it was going to be pret-ty hard. And _believe_ me, my definition of hard is veeeeery hard . . .

When Lee came to on my back, he started flopping around like a fish out of water (if you'll excuse the pun) and screaming incoherent words.

And of course, Neji and Tenten were starting to untie us.

And Electra NEVER likes to be made a fool of.

ECSPECIALLY by spandex-wearing bakas!  
Lee was sobbing, upset that Neji had beaten him. I couldn't help but become Neji/Sasuke/Gaara-ish by acting cold, superior and mean. But it's what happens when people make me look bad.

"If you weren't so overexcited and jumpy, we would've won. There, I've found your weakness. You're so useless, no wonder Neji can beat you in the blink of and eye. I not sure why Guy even wastes his time with you." I spat.

"Geez Electra-chan, I know he's irritable and all, but don't you think that's a little harsh?" Tenten asked; I sensed fear in her voice. The killer intent inside me immediately kicked in, sensing something else in the vicinity. My hand instinctively whipped out a kunai.

"Electra! Don't hurt him!" I ignored Tenten and threw my kunai at "Lee." Smoke erupted from "Lee" and revealed some one else in his place.

"Oboro! We've been discovered!" An Amegakure ninja leaped from where Lee was and into the water.

"What are Amegakure ninja doing in Konoha?" I asked, drawing another kunai along with some shuriken.

"They're probably after something, I would guess Lee." My insanity leaked to the surface.

"You make it sound like they're gay and they want to rape him."

"Electra! We're under attack and you're worried about them being gay rapists?" Tenten said in her lecturing voice.

"Well . . . Yeah, pretty much."

"Kagari, I'm disappointed in you, you can't even keep up a charade long enough for us to get rid of the extra weight."

'Does that mean they killed Lee?'

But Lee was very much alive, much to my disappointment (kinda); he was unconscious on the side of the river. The three Amegakure ninja that I knew to be Oboro, Kagari and Mubi stood in the way of the green ninja.

But where was Guy?

If Lee were hurt, Guy would be there, or _should_ be there. But it was like he had disappeared into thin air after knocking us off the pole. I looked back at Lee and saw a similar spandex wearing "beast" next to him.  
_'So they got Guy too?' _I mused. We were on our own, and I liked a challenge. But I wasn't sure how powerful these guys were.

I wasn't sure if we could beat them.

Pushing all thoughts of doubt and fear aside, I called on Ryu. He alighted on my outstretched arm, his predatory eyes assessing the situation. Oboro decided to make the first move; to put us at a disadvantage he needed to get us onto their turf.

Water.

Pushing us into the water was unnecessary, but he needed a jutsu. And yet Oboro didn't even need to hit us. With some kind of water jutsu, the muddy bank was enough to trap us and pull us into the water. With only a few seconds until the water reached my face, I sucked in a large breath of oxygen. I could only hope Neji and Tenten were doing the same.

In America, "Mother Dearest" had forced me to participate in sports. Competitive swimming and joining the swim team puts a lot of strain on a third grader's body. But you're not here to listen to my life story, so in short, swim team training helps when you're a ninja.

Plunging into the icy cold water made me more aware of my surroundings. My senses felt more alive. I transformed into a shark and swam toward our adversaries. Startled to see a bright pink shark, they were momentarily in a state of shock, allowing my teammates to escape from the muddy binds and swim close enough to help. But moving in the water was more difficult for them. I made two clones and applied my kekkei genkai, transforming them into small dolphins to help Neji and Tenten get around. I turned into a fish, darting between the ninjas unseen. I started transforming back into my human self, but not before I hit Mubi upside the head with the tail of my mermaid-like form. After fully transforming back, I followed up with three slower-than-usual punches, almost yelling at the water for giving me such a huge disadvantage. I pushed off of Kagari's head to get to the surface and breathe. I transformed into a small fish and went to check on the progress. Neji and Tenten had figured out how to reach full on-land momentum in the water. Neji would grab Tenten by the ankles and spin her around in circles (Tenten herself curled up into a tight ball) leave it to them to bring physics into the field of battle and death. Or as I like to call it, Electra's world of pleasure and delight –sweet smile-. I saw blood mingle with water. Tenten hit her target straight on, and I just could not get over how well those two worked together. I was almost. . . jealous. . . But Electra Vesuvin does not get jealous. She _made _people jealous. And that was final.

I had to get back into the action.

I transformed into a great white (or rather, light pink) shark. The smell of blood made my senses tingle, my brain (well, where I should have a brain, I had _leeeelte_, tiny people that tell me what to do and how to act) slowly turning to mush. The iron and metallic scent began to overwhelm all my other senses, my mind giving way to instinct and reflexes.

I snapped.

And the worse part was . . .

I couldn't tell friend from foe.

-

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-

When my mind "awoke," I was . . . horrified. My shark teeth dug into the palms of Neji, drawing more and more blood. Tenten was escaping from the area of my teeth.

I had attacked my teammates.

I transformed back.

"Tenten! Neji! I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know, I-" I bit my lip, they couldn't understand what I was saying, I was just wasting air and letting bubbles emerge from my mouth. I signaled them to come to the surface.

"I'm so sorry guys, I didn't know and I couldn't control myself . . . I hope I didn't hurt you too bad . . ." I bent my head in an apologetic manner. "Where did the Amegakure ninja go?"

"They escaped." Neji said, examining his hands. Tenten tore off a part of her sleeve and started wrapping it around Neji's hand. They both savored the moment, hand in hand. She found her bag and took out some towels.

"I brought them just in case."

We each took a towel, Tenten going to get the other two.

"Wake up!" I kicked the Guy and his look-alike in the stomach. "You guys are seriously getting annoying."

-

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-

"FINALLY!!! BREAKFAST!!!" I cheered. I grabbed a blueberry muffin and dug around in my pantry. "Oh yeah," I peeked my head out of the pantry and looked at Tenten, Neji, Guy and Lee. "Help yourself to whatever you want!" I found my marshmallows, peanut butter and bread. I put the bread and three marshmallows (on top of the bread) in the toaster for 5 minutes. I joined them at my kitchen table.

"So . . .?" Neji asked, twiddling his thumbs uncomfortably. I could tell he was spending too much time with Hinata.

"Erm . . . What's you're favorite food?" I asked.

"Fish soba."

"I guess I like chestnuts."

"THE CURRY OF LIFE!!!" Guy and Lee cheered at the same time.

"Uh-huh, riiiight . . . Well, I like sushi! Sushi gooooood." I licked my lips. The toaster rang and I went to retrieve my marshmallow bread. I spread peanut butter around the marshmallows, poured caramel syrup over it and took a bite.

"Ewww, how can you eat that." Tenten asked, looking disgusted. I answered with a full mouth.

"It's good!" A drop of caramel syrup dripped and hit the table. I licked it off.

"I never was known for being –English accent- _a lady_."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

-

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-

10:00 A.M. and I'm already tired of them.

"And my favorite color is green!" Lee had _finally _finished his life-story. I'm serious, his entire life story.

"Great Lee, that was _enlightening_. I absolutely _love _listening to your autobiography. Can I go home now?"

"It's not even noon."

"And now you now how sick I am of them."

"Well, it's you're turn Electra!"

"My favorite color is pink and my dream for the future is to go to the mental institute, and get sent back with a note saying that I was too crazy for them. And that note will be hung up in my room in a golden frame . . . Done."

"Uhh . . . Okaaaaay . . ."

-

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-

And now we have lunch and a food fight starts. Imagine that, a food fight with ninja . . .

"Flaming meat kabobs!" I threw the blazing shrimp and beef kabobs like kunai at Neji, who used Eight Trigrams Heavenly Spin on them, making them deflect. Lee got one on his spandex, setting him on fire. Tenten deflected them with a kunai and wrapped a paper bomb around a meatball and threw it at me. I burnt it to a crisp with a small fireball. Guy threw a shuriken shaped chip at me. I scooped up some guacamole and threw it on the "shuriken" and caught it in my mouth.

"Yeah! I got _skills_!" I cheered. "H-h-ot!!! S-spicy!" I got a pitcher of ice water and downed it quickly. I threw the rest on everyone.

"Electromagnetic Wave Jutsu! Oooo . . . Pretty lights . . . "

-

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-

I knew today was going to be long.

I never expected it to be _this_ long!

But then again, no one expects to wake up at 12:01 A.M. either. Well, at least, no one _should_. Being woken up by youth-loving freaks is annoying. But sitting around for a break with said youth-loving idiots and teammates is just . . . awkward, uncomfortable . . . unnerving even.

"Um- er . . . uh . . ." Silence was not my best friend, it was pretty much my . . . *counts off fingers* 10th worst enemy.

"Yeah . . ."

"Back to training?"

"Back to training."

-

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-

When kinda ran out of things to do by 3:00.

I was grateful to get a mission one minute later.

A B-rank mission, but nothing overly impressive. Escort some wealthy merchant back home. After that, (nope, nothing worth talking about. Just some paranoid, perverted freak who was after ninja babes. No fighting or blood at ALL!!!) it was the end of the day. The only thing worth mentioning is when that merchant started hitting on Tenten and Ne- gph! Hft! Lftju! –clears throat- Sorry, Neji covered my mouth.

-

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-

-beep- I'm sorry, the number you are trying to reach is currently venting her anger on Rock Lee. Leave a message after the blood-curdling scream. Have a nice day! –blood-curdling scream-

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FINALLY! Time to go to sleep! Thank you!

**Yay, 'tis done now! Now go watch TV! Shoo!!! WAIT NO!!!!! REVIEW FIRST!!!**

**I is in a (golden) box out on the streets (in Beverly Hills) wearing a brown (designer and one-of-a-kind) dress and dirt (which is really expensive make-up that looks like crap) on my (million-dollar) face. I'm also playing the (ruby-encrusted) banjo!!!**

**Speaking of banjo, I'm gonna try to learn how to play the guitar! Yay for me!**

**Oh yeah, my 'y' button is starting to go whack . . .**

**REVIEW!!!**


	31. Chapter 31

Geez, talk about an extreme case of Writer's block! It took me longer than usual to think of what to do in this chapter. And it stops only a little after lunch. –sigh— So, um, Asuka-Rui-Uchiha's birthday is coming up soon so wish her a happy birthday! In case you haven't noticed, because I haven't, I'm bringing back filler characters, so if there's anyone you want to see, let me know! So, umm, slight NaruHina and KibaAsuk. That's all!  
Disclaimer: I wanted to ask Kishimoto if I could have Naruto. Note the tried.

Chapter 31

Team Bonding: Kurenai

Today I was _blessed_ with connecting with Team Kurenai. Overly shy girl, almost neko boy, dog, creepy bug dude and pregnant woman

Oh joy.

Luckily, this time I would have some of my closest friends to share my misery with! Yay! I could probably deal with Hinata and Shino, because believe it or not, I used to be super shy AND practically emotionless. Yup, now I'm a insane and mentally unstable kunoichi who kicks ASS!!! Usually, I'd be able to handle Kiba, but since Asuka starting talking and talking about him . . .

"Asuka, you're my best friend and you know that, but seriously, try not to go googly-eyed over Kiba." I air-patted her on the back and she gave me the infamous Uchiha glare. I pulled my hands back and put them up defensively. "What?! You know love makes me sick!" Which was partially true. But that STUPID, IDIOTIC, DUMBASS, BITCHY-

This message is too extreme and profane that it would put even Hidan to shame. It had to be censored. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Have a cookie on the way out!

-voice just HAS to like romance and love! Ugh!

-

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"So I brought this book about team bonding," Shino said monotonously, dropping a BIG book on the table of Kurenai's apartment.

"HEY!!! KEEP THE NOISE DOWN!!! AND ELECTRA, STOP TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE!!!" Yeah, the noise that came from the book hitting the table was so loud Kurenai assumed that I was killing people.

"Wow, that book weighs more than I do!" Yoshie's mouth hung open.

"Close your mouth, bugs are nesting," Asuka said, earning herself a glare from Shino. "Sorry . . . " She said meekly.

"So what's the first chapter about?" Yoshie asked, a stick of anko dumplings hanging from her mouth. She opened up the book and scanned the page. I always wondered how Yoshie could somehow make food pop out of thin air.

"You should first get to know what your teammates like and dislike," He said, examining the book.

"Let's start out simple, favorite food? Least favorite?" I shrugged.

"Sushi is my favorite and I despise chocolate. Hate it with a passion."

"Everything and nothing! All food is good!"

"Really? Even Brussels sprouts?" I looked at her skeptically.

"Yes, especially Brussels sprouts!" my mouth fell open.

"I'm ashamed of you!" Asuka rolled her eyes and answered the question.

"My favorite is fetticuni alfredo. I don't like fish, but fish sticks are okay."

"How does that work?" Kiba asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess the same way I hate tomatoes and love ketchup."

"You hate tomatoes? Sasuke would be disappointed," Asuka air-nudged me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll explain this again, Asuka. Yes, I think Sasuke is hot. No, I don't have a crush on him. Apparently girls can't think guys are hot without wanting to go out with them. And besides, that'd be weird if I started going out with my best friend's hot twin brother."

"Awww! I'm your best friend?" Asuka cooed.

"Awww! I'm not your best friend?" Yoshie whined.

"Yoshie, you're my partner in crime. Best Friend and Partner in Crime are two completely different and almost equally good things," I explained.

"ANYWAYS, beef steak jerk and cartilageare my favorites and I like shark fin soup the least." Kiba interuppted out little moment.

"Cartilage as in the stuff in your ears and nose? Gross!" I exclaimed, wincing at the idea.

"I like wild grass salad and winter melon. I don't like tofu balls strong smelling foods." Shino said tediously.

"Z-zenzai a-and cin-cinammon ro-rolls are my fav-favorites. I d-don't l-like praw-prawns and c-crabs," Hinata stuttered. Yeah, remember when I said I was shy? Never THAT shy. Ever. I have never stuttered in my life. Unless some script or something called for it, but other than that, I never stutter.

*Insert multiple flashbacks of Electra's stuttering episodes here!*

Okaaaaay, never mind that and let's get back to the story.

"What's your favorite type of mission?"

"Yeah, you guys don't even have to answer that one," I said, gesturing to the members of Team Kurenai, "It's tracking, obviously. My favorite is infiltration. I love killing and infiltrating the enemy and while they think they're so cool and they don't have any idea that you're going to murder them the next day!"

"Kinda like that one mission that you went on with Sakura and Sasuke recently? The one when you had to dress up as a-" I covered Yoshie's mouth with my hand and took it off before she could lick it (Freakin' perverts . . .).

"Don't bring that up again. And for the record, we were captured by an incredibly powerful genjutsu user. You know genjutsu isn't my strong point!" I pouted. "My MOST recent mission," I shivered, "I've been scarred for life. And escort missions are officially my least favorite. Mostly only creeps and snotty rich kids request escorts!"

Ring! Ring! Ring!

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! IT'S AN ALARM CLOCK!!! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LITTLE, BUNNY LIVES!!!"

Ring! Ring! Ring!

"Run five miles east, there'll be a river, swim across it as fast as you can and pull the highest branch of the tallest tree on the other side. It'll open a staircase, in it lives a giant labrodoodle. Feed it some meat and it will poop out a key. Take the key and cartwheel 10 kilometers to the north. There'll be a train that'll take you to the outskirts of China. There will be someone there that will keep you safe until further notice, LIVE DAMMIT, LIVE!!!" I screeched in Hinata's ears."The key will be to the diary in which you record the hardships of the Donner Party!"

Ring!! Ring!!! RING!!!

"The end is coming! Hide! HIDE!!!" I hollered screaming and running around in circles.

WILL JUST FREAKIN' SHUT THE HELL UP!?!?!?

"OH MY FLIPPIN' GOD!!! THE ALARM CLOCK TALKS!!!"

Shino turned off the alarm clock and Kiba cheered.

"Why the alarm clock?" Asuka asked uncovering her ears.

"We spend a certain amount of time doing what Shino wants, and a certain amount of time doing what Hinata then I want. The alarm clock is for keeping track of that time," Kiba explained. I raised a brow skeptically.

"Riiiiiiiiight . . . " I drawled, ending the remark with a smirk. "So who's turn is it?"

"I-it's Kiba's," Hinata spluttered.

"So what's are we doing?" Yoshie asked, piece of beef jerky in her mouth.

"Sparring."

"Finally! Something NOT boring!!!" Asuka cheered, "No offense Shino," She added quickly.

"None taken, I prefer taking action anyways," The Aburame shrugged.

-

-

-

"So, how are we going to do this?" I asked, sitting in the middle of the training ground, the grass pricking my skin.

"Do what?"

"Who's gonna fight who?" I clarifyed. The others thought for a while.

"Well, we're definatly going Team Kurenai against Team Mental," Asuka said.

"We have a team name? Since when?" I raised a brow. Yoshie was scratching her ear with her foot.

"Since 7 seconds ago. Well, now it's 10 . . . 11 . . . 12 . . .13 . . ."

"Well, I've always wanted to see Sharingan versus Byakugan, so Asuka versus Hinata?" Yoshie asked. Kiba shrugged and tried to scratch his ear with his foot. He failed. Miserably.

"And then me versus Kiba, we both have an animal conpanion that we fight with," I confirmed, petting Ryu's head.

"I have an animal conpanion too!" Yoshie reminded us, as in Asuka and I.

"Yeah, but Ashi is, and I quote, 'suspiciously absent. I don't know what he's up to.'" Asuka stated knowingly.

"Woo. I got a part in this fanfic."

"What was that?!" Kiba half-yelled, pulling out a kunai.

"I think it was Ashi . . . " I sniffed the air and coughed. I turned up my nose and pretended to gag. "Yup, that was Ashi . . . He smells like canine! No offense," I added the last part quickly

"None taken," Yoshie shrugged.

"Some taken," Kiba growled, Akamaru snorted. "I can't wait to beat the-" Shino looked at him, or, at least I think he did, I can't tell with his sunglasses. "Snot out of you, Electra!"

"Nyah!" I pouted, giving him a small shock of electricity via my eyes. 'Cause only the cool lightning users have voltage vision! Yeah! I'm talking to you Sasuke, Kakashi!!!

"N-nyah? L-like what t-the c-cats do?" Hmm . . . I wonder who said that?

"Yeah! Y'like it? It's my new thing! Nyah!" I transformed into a kitten. "Nyah!"

"KAWAII!!!" I transformed back.

"What the-" I think Shino looked at me here, "Hello Panda was that?"

"I . . . don't know . . . " Asuka admitted, looking around the area warily.

"Well it wasn't Ashi, that's for sure . . . "

-

-

-

"Lightning Wing Jutsu!"

"Dynamic Marking!"

"Holy-" Insert Shino stare "-Crab cakes!" I rolled my eyes at Shino's attitude while dodging Akamaru's pee. Eck! "Geez, mothering us much?" I scoffed.

"Mother? Don't remind me," Kiba muttered, dodging my roundhouse.

"Family problems?" I asked, doing a back flip to avoid the incoming tackle. I jumped on a branch and crouched down.

"Nah, mom's just, well, mothering," Kiba answered, swiping his clawed hand at me. I caught it and twisted it the wrong way, heard a sickening crack. The Inuzuka winced and withdrew his arm, cursing.

"Oh, sorry Kiba, I'll get Yoshie to fix that up afterward . . . And besides, that's what moms do," I shrugged. Ryu pecked at his hair.

"Get your bird away from me!"

"Okay, I win!" I chirped. We landed on the ground; Kiba scratched his head with his good arm.

"That's kind of embarrassing, getting beat by a girl . . . " He replied nervously.

"Oh, you weren't going all out, that's why. You have to learn to hurt people you know and like, more or less, such as in the situation of a missing-nin. Amazing, that is the most structured condemnation I have made use of the entire summer. No, that last one was . . . I am such a nerd!!!"

Shino and Yoshie jumped down from a boulder.

"Who won?" Kiba asked.

"It was a tie."

"Makes sense, I just can't really see any of you guys losing. You're just not the type," I pointed out. "And by the way, I won. And we need a medic."

"Why do you need a medic?" Yoshie asked, wiping a moist towel on her sweating forehead.

"Because I got my ass handed to me by a girl and I broke my arm," Kiba stated dully.

"Really? It can't be that bad! I don't see anything wrong!" Yoshie motioned to Kiba's twisted limb.

It really was that bad.

"C'mon Yosh! Just heal Kiba's arm, 'kay?" Asuka said, helping stabilize the shy Byakugan user.

"I take it you won Asuka?" I asked, gesturing to Hinata's shaking form.

"No, Naruto passed by and started talking to Hinata, she fainted."

"Did he ask you ask you out, Hinata?" Kiba teased.

"N-no! Kiba-kun! H-he wouldn't . . . um . . . a-ask a g-girl like m-m-me . . . " Hinata twiddle her thumbs nervously. Kiba seemed to notice something.

"Oi, Konichiwa Naruto!" He waved his good arm.

"N-Naruto-kun!?" Hinata whipped around to see . . .

. . .

. . .

Nothing.

"Kiba-kun! Don't scare me like that!" Hinata yelled.

Hold up.

Hinata. Yell. Hmmm . . . I'm no archeologist, but I'm pre-ty sure that's NOT possible. . .

Or is it???

"Scare you like how?"

"Oh well that's unexpected . . . " Asuka drawled.

"Naruto-kun!"

"Oh. My. Gwash." I intonated. "Well this is . . . Awkward . . . And what's more, Hinata didn't stutter. Amazing."

"I know, right?!" Yoshie exclaimed.

"Our little girl is growing up!" Asuka hyperventilated, fanning herself and putting a hand on Kiba's shoulder.

"Really? Ours? Well she's got your hair color, but nothing else really," Kiba observed.

"Okay," I said slowly, "Odd mental picture, moving on . . . "

"Agh! Electra! You think wrong!" Asuka was about to slap my shoulder, but one hard glare and it stopped her.

"One, I wasn't thinking about that, my mental picture was of Neji with a Perry the Platypus Theme song as a ring tone. Two, takes a wrong mind to know a wrong mind. And for the record, I blame Erogaki for the other kind of thoughts. Her and human nature," I shrugged.  
"Finally! Someone who understands me! But I blame Ero-Sennin instead of Erogaki, whoever she is," Naruto exclaimed, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

Gasp.  
Gasp.

Gasp.

"Why are we gasping?"

Gasp.

"You made physical contact-" Yoshie began.

"-With Electra . . ." Asuka finished.

"Naruto, run." They said in unison. The jinchuriki gulped.

"Meep."

"Hope you wrote your will in advance Naruto," I whispered maliciously, transforming into a lioness.

This scene is too gory for the eyes of the innocent, it had to be censored. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Have a beverage on the way out. Completely "free" of charge . . . Whatever that's supposed to mean.

"Nyah! I was NOT breaking the rules 'cause Naruto isn't part of Team Kurenai, so technically I didn't break the damn rules!" I exclaimed. Tsunade massaged her temples, eyebrow twitching.

"I knew you'd find some kind of loophole," the Fifth groaned, leaning back into her chair and crossing her arms. I pouted, crossing my arms as well.

"I can't help it! I haven't gotten to kill anyone for an entire two days!!!"

"You know what? Just go back. Never mind," Tsunade picked up a half-empty bottle of sake and swirled the liquid around. When looked back up at me, I was gone.

-

-

-

"I bet that Electra's not coming back. She beat up Naruto and now she's probably being interrogated about whether or not she's really a spy from the Sound Village!" Asuka put five thousand yen on the ground between herself and Yoshie.

"Well, I bet that she's going on probation for an entire year!" the neko wagered the same amount of money.

"Well I bet that Electra's gonna come back without a punishment because she found a loophole in the rules and she's going to take your guys' money! Oh look! I'm right!" I grinned, snatching up the ten thousand yen. My teammates pouted before turning to Hinata.

"So what did you plan on doing today?" Asuka asked.

"Forget that! It's lunchtime!" Yoshie leapt to her feet, licking her lips.

"Wow, didn't see that one coming at all . . . " I drawled sarcastically.

"W-we c-can eat at m-my um . . . er . . . home . . . " Hinata offered quietly.

"That would be interesting. I have never been to the Hyuga estate before," Shino stated.

-

-

-

Exquisite.

That was the first thing that came to my mind when the appetizer was laid out in front of me. Kiba gave a low whistle and Yoshie practically started drooling. Shino remained impassive, big surprise there. Asuka licked her lips and Hinata was flushed at her friends' reactions to the rich life she led.

"Wow, Hinata this is amazing!" I gestured to the finely sliced fish and cilantro sprinkled dish. The sauce dribbled along the white plate with artistic flair.

"A-arigato . . . um . . . Electra-san," She stuttered, blushing.

The thinly cut salmon disappeared within the time span of a mere five minutes. But then again, it was only an appetizer. The next course came soon after, a nice saucer of deliciously incredile soup.

"Oh. My. Gosh. I haven't had food like this since . . . " I trailed off, not able to identify the feeling that swelled up in my chest. Like home-sickness, but not wanting to go back. A strange, hurtful, reminiscent feeling. Asuka finished my sentence quietly.

"We left home." She stared down at her dish dejectedly. Yoshie did the same, pushing her soup away from herself, the liquid swished around in the saucer, almost brimming over and spilling.

"I don't think I can eat anymore . . ." the neko whispered, ecplaining her surprising actions. I looked at her skeptically. She pulled back her soup.

"Okay, maybe I can," she drawled, trying to lighten the mood. She failed. Miserably. Asuka offered a weak smile at Yoshie's antics. Howeever, it didn't rake long for her to look back down with softened (maybe hurt?) eyes. Kiba put his hand on her shoulder in comforting sympathy, Akamaru nudged her side, whimpering. I guess it was hardest for Asuka to leave home, she had the most friends out of the group that I brought. A maid walked in with our next course, hand flying up to her nose.

'I guess the tension really can get so thick you can literally break your nose against it' I thought grimly.

The meal continued in silence.

-

-

-

"So Hinata, what did you want to do for your team bonding exercise?" Yoshie asked expectantly. The girl never really was one for silence. Kurenai came stumbling out of her bedroom and into the living room, presumably to get some more sweets. I looked at her swollen belly and found myself wondering whether or not the kid would be a girl. I turned back to the Hyuga.

"I-I wanted . . . to . . . um . . . g-get everyone's o-opinion on the . . . er . . . citizens of K-Konoha," She stammered. Seemed easy enough.

"So what do you think of Iruka-sensei?" Kiba asked, crossing his legs and propping up his elbow on his knee. "I think the guy's got something stuck up somewhere for him to be such a prick."

"K-Kiba-kun! Don't talk a-about Iruka-s-sensei l-like that!"

"Hmph."

"I t-think I-Iruka-sensei . . . um . . . is a r-r-respectable man, s-so d-don't talk about h-him like th-that!"

"Iruka is a good man," Shino cut off whatever Kiba was about to say in retaliation.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to him much, but he's pretty cool," Yoshie shrugged.

"When I knew him in the Academy, is was pretty uptight and strict. Not my favorite person," Asuka ran her tongue over her teeth.

"Who's Iruka-sensei?" I cocked my head to the side. When no one gave me an answer, I sighed.

"What about Team Guy?"

"They're really strong, but Lee and Guy are annoying. Neji's boring and Tenten, well, I don't talk to Tenten that much." Kiba said.

"G-Guy-sensei and L-Lee-san are v-very insp-inspiring and c-confident . . . and, um . . . Neji-kun i-is very str-strong and k-kind. Tenten-san is v-very powerful a-and a w-wonder k-kunoichi," Hinata managed to say. I pouted.

"You make Lee and Guy sound good!"

"They're all respectable as ninja, but as people, everyone but Tenten could use some social help."

"Says the freaky bug dude who has a bigger anti-social problem than an isolated wolf," I muttered, clicking my tongue at the end.

"Guy and Lee equal annoying. Neji equals hot. Tenten equals awesome."

"Aww! Neji and Electra sitting in a tr-" Insert Electra Glare to Yoshie here.

"See! Not allowed to think a guy's hot without being accused of liking him. That's just wrong," I shook my head.

"Guy and Lee are pretty irritating, but Neji and Tenten are pretty cool," Asuka responded. Yoshie's ears perked up.

"Ditto!" She said, a leeeeeetle too late.

"Team Kakashi? Sai, Kira Misha and Yamato included?"

"Naruto is cool, Sasuke's a prick, Sakura has anger issuses, Kakashi is a respectable prick, Yamato's eyes are creepy, Sai's a emotionless bastard and Kira Misha's annoying, mean and funny."

"N-Naruto-kun is I-inspiring and I r-really, um . . . like him . . ."

"Talk about stating the obvious," I rolled my eyes. Hinata blushed a continued in an even smaller voice.

"S-Sasuke-san is v-very . . . um . . . p-powerful, b-but he k-kinda scares m-me. S-Sakura-san is v-very c-confident and s-strong and k-kind as w-well. K-Kakashi-sensei is a wonderful . . . um . . . nin-ninja and so is Y-Yamato-sempai. Sai-san sincerely tr-tries to re-recover his emotions and . . . uh . . . Kira Misha-san is an a-amazing example fo-for y-younger shi-shinobi t-to follow," Hinata finished, she seemed out of breath.

"Naruto does not know his comrades tremendously well-"

"Total lie."

"Sasuke seems to be between a hero and a villain, Sakura is someone I do not converse with that often, Kakashi is an interesting man, Yamato is someone I have not had a real discussion with yet, Sai is characterless and Kira Misha appears to be over-confident," Shino responded monotonously.

"Naruto's annoying and deranged, but fun. Sasuke's a hot jerk, no offense intended to Asuka, offense intended to Sasuke. Sakura is my best friend outside of Team Mental and Kira Misha and definitely the girl I would choose to come on a mission with me. Kakashi? Hmmm, my favorite sensei, hands down, but pervyness is a real turn-off. Yamato? Creepy eyes. End of story. Sai is annoying in the sense of cluelessness. Kira Misha is my best friend outside of Team Mental and the best prankster I know," I ticked off the members on my fingers.

"Naruto is okay, Sasuke's my hamster of a brother, Sakura is cool, Kakashi is . . . non-descript, Yamato scares me, Sai is hard to be around without wanting to pummel him into the ground, Kira Misha is annoying but awesome," Asuka commented.

"Naruto is fun to annoy, Sasuke's a hamster, Sakura is uber awesome, Kakashi is a bad cushion, Yamato? Don't know him, Sai is a good cushion, Kira Misha is a good partner in crime. Not as good as Electra or Chuck Norris," Yoshie grinned.

"Anyone else getting tired of this?"

"Team Asuma, Mental and Kurenai?"

"Shikamaru is smart, powerful but lazy. Choji is physically powerful, but he disgusts me when he eats. Ino is a superficial bitch, but she's a great kunoichi. Electra, indescribable in neither a good nor bad way. Asuka is an amazing kunoichi and knows how to have fun. Yoshie eats a lot and it kinda makes me queasy, but she's talented as a ninja. Hinata, I care for her as a friend and teammate, but sometimes she worries me. Shino is creepy and is sometimes annoying to be around. But he's actually nice and respectable." Kiba said, almost forgetting to breath between sentences.

Ring! Ring!!! RING! RING!!!

"There's the alarm! Time to do something else!" Yoshie jumped up. "So what are we doing? Dangerous mission? Target practice on Lee? Cushion hunting? EATING!?" Gee, hyper much?

"We have nothing else planned, it's your guys' turn," Kiba shrugged.

"And no eating Yoshie, not until dinnertime," I reminded the forever hungry, psychotic neko. You'd think the girl would have like a tapeworm or something.

-

-

-

"WAKE UP!!!"

"Wh-huh? Uh-uh . . . ?"

I can't help it if I didn't get enough sleep last night. Damn Lee and Guy. Damn youth. I'll even be like Sai if that means not being woken up at 12:01 in the morning.

"Electra-chan's not a morning person."

Dark mumbling.

Evil aura.

Disturbing grin.

"I'm going to destroy someone right now," I could almost feel Lightning's chakra leaking out. Almost.

"Wow, Electra's in a surprisingly good mood!"

-

-

-

-beep- the number you are trying to reach is currently experiencing writer's block, if you would like to try again, please press one. It is not recommended to press one.

**Will write for reviews!**


	32. Chapter 32

Yeah, I had a surprise trip sprung on me and wasn't able to work on my fanfic. Really annoying. I also have a major block (everything, can't write, draw . . . nothing . . . ) that's been going on for the ENTIRE summer.

Disclaimer: My name isn't Kishimoto

Kyo: Thanks a bunch and in the actual series, I don't think there's a time travel jutsu. I personally love the idea, but I've already started a time travel fic, and two would be waaay too much for this lazy author. And it's a pain to come up with new characters, names, jutsus, personalities . . . Waaaaaaay too much work for me! Peace!

Chapter 32

Team Bonding: Asuma

Superficial Bitch.

"Ino!"

Lazy and Utterly Annoying Genius

"Shika!"

Fat and Self-Conscious Bowling Ball

"Cho!"

One word.

Meep.

"Does anyone else beside me have a bad feeling about this?"

Now, don't get me wrong, Team Asuma is great! Ino's pretty cool when she's not fawning over Sasuke, Sai or some other source of "eye-candy". She just reminds me of the hated "Plastics" from my old school. Shikamaru's probably one of my best guy friends, taking into the consideration that I don't necessarily enjoy conversation and would rather relax and be lazy for a whole month than most things.

And he's one hell of a rapper.

Choji's okay. I guess. I dunno, I find myself hanging out with Team Kakashi out of all of the Konoha ninja. No, Yoshie's the one who likes to hang with Team Asuma because of the constant barbeques they have. You know Yoshie, always the food lover. And while I'm on the subject, Asuka's the one who always wanders off to Team Kurenai, for a certain dog-lover. Well, I guess sometimes you just feel love is a bit more important than friendship, which I totally don't get. Which is why it I my personal goal (other than the whole certified psychopath thing) to not fall in love.

No. Love bad.

Ahem, well, getting back on the subject . . . wait . . . no . . . what was the subject again?

"ELECTRA!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

"HOLY CRAB CAKES THE PINEAPPLES ARE ATTACKING!!!" I exclaimed loudly. Ino rolled her light blue, pupiless eyes.

"Electra-chan, that's just Shikamaru's hair . . . "

"NO!!! I mean behind pineapple head's hair!!!" I pointed.

And sure enough, there were half-human pineapples running around Konoha and causing havoc.

You can thank Yoshiro for the plot.

Moegi ran up to us, out of breath.

"Have you seen the giant pineapples running through here?" She asked between almost pained breaths. My posture slouched, my head hanging to the side and my mouth open.

"Are you kidding me? You don't see a clan of bigger-than-normal pineapples running around and wreaking Konoha? And I thought I was the unobservant—Wait a sec, has Ichiraku ramen always been out in the open like that?"

"No! They recently moved three and a half meters into the open!" Asuka drawled sarcastically. I pouted, muttering a small 'Nyah' in response.

"Now tell me . . . " Yoshie said slowly, trying to keep from completely exploding. Note the word 'trying', "WHO'S THE FREAKIN' GENUIS WHO LET SEMI-HUMANOID PINEAPPLES RUN AROUND AND DESTROY THE VILLAGE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Moegi gulped at the (would strangling her with flaming eyes be considered mercy?) mercy of the furious neko.

"Let's just say it was a fruit salad recipe gone horribly wrong a few years ago . . . "

-

-

-

"You will divide into three groups: Shikamaru and Choji, Yoshiro and Ino, and Asuka and Electra. The leaders of each group of two will be Shikamaru, Yoshiro and Asuka. Shikamaru will be leader of the whole operation. The pineapples from two years ago would've rotted, so they must of reproduced—" Insert disturbing mental picture here "—I want you to figure out where they are and destroy them," Tsunade instructed.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

-

-

-

"Here pineapple, pineapple . . . Here pineapple, pineapple . . . You know, the tune doesn't go well with saying 'pineapple', Y' know?" I huffed. Asuka nodded and crouched on the branch she just landed on. Her Sharingan spun lazily.

"Something's coming . . . human-sized, but the body is too bulky. Chakra's running through it, but not in the type of pattern that humans have. It's our target, no doubt about it," Asuka analyzed, pressing the button on her wireless radio.

"Approach the target," Shikamaru's voice cackled with static. "We think we've found the hybrid pineapples' base of operations." I never knew there was more than one type of pineapple.

"On it," I confirmed, stealthily approaching the pineapple. The branch underneath was smaller than I originally thought, creaking under my already light body. The pineapple gave a frightened squeal and ran off.

"What the heck?"

"I . . . don't know . . . " Asuka clucked her tongue. I pressed the button on my comms unit.

"The target is on the move, probably headed to its home."

"Well get over here fast! The pineapples are too physically strong for Choji and I to handle!"

Crap. This can't be good.

Asuka skidded to a stop a good five meters in front of me. She always did surpass me in most physical activities. Most.

"Ho-ly crap," she enunciated each syllable slowly. Thousands and thousands of giant pineapples running around their own village. Thousands. None were even used as a house.

Spongebob would not approve.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

A few hundred warrior pineapples were grappling with Shikamaru and Choji when one, obviously the leader, came forth and spoke in a high, squeaky, pineapplely voice.

"Let the small one go. He is my kin."

What the heck? Shika's related to royal pineapples? I thought I was delusional before, but seriously!?

"Are you who I think you are?" Shikamaru asked almost cautiously.

"Depends, who do you think I am?" Stupid high, squeaky voice.

"I think . . . you are my lost-lost cousin . . . Pineapple Pete . . . "

Someone tell me when this horrible nightmare is over?

'Pineapple Pete' led Shikamaru away, motioning to the warriors to finish off Choji.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Asuka!" I formed my Plasma Pulse Jutsu in my hand, the soft glow lighting my face.

"On it!" Said Uchiha created the first hand seal.

"Plasmic Dragon Jutsu!" Our collaboration created a billowing cloud of smoke. Damn smoke. I hate the tension that builds. The smoke cleared . . . and . . .

The pineapples looked like something that you would put on a kabob.

How uncliché. Not that I'm complaining.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Yoshie and Ino arrived.

"What's going on?" Yoshie asked, eyeing the burnt pineapples greedily.

"Semi-humanoid pineapples have created an advanced civilization and Shika is their leader's long-lost cousin."

"No, seriously," Ino half-laughed.

"They are being serious." Choji confirmed.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

-

-

-

"I appreciate the reunion and all, but I have to get back to my friends and complete our mission," Shikamaru said through his comms, obviously talking to Pineapple Pete.

"What's your mission?" His already annoying voice was laced with static crackling. You could practically hear Shikamaru stiffened.

"I- uh, I'm sorry, but that's classified information,"

Nice save, Shika.

I pressed the button activating the comms unit.

"Kill him now!" I demanded, voice mixed with urgency.

There was staticy silence.

"Okay, he's dead," Shikamaru said.

"Good job, now on to—" Yoshie was cut off.

"Gee Shikamaru! What the hell was that for?" Meep. Static squeaky voice . . . .

"I thought you said you killed him," Asuka seethed through clenched teeth.

"I- um- d- uh . . . Gomen, it was an accident?" More of a question than an answer Shika.

"You ran me through with a sword laying on the table!!!"

"Shika make the squeaky voice go away!!!" Ino complained.

"Stupid immortal pineapples . . . HIT THE DAMN THING WITH A JUTSU ALREADY!!!!!!!" I exclaimed.

I heard a bump. A high-pitched squeal.

"It's not working . . . "

"You need some back-up?" Choji asked. We didn't wait for a reply and we came through the window (Just a hole in the wall) and landed.

"Take this!!! Water Style: Water Beam Jutsu!" A powerful stream of water shot out of Yoshie's palms with force stronger than a fire hose.

"Yeah, that didn't work, Yosh. Just gave them a free shower," Asuka slouched in disappointment.

Fire/Lightning/Plasma Jutsus don't work, just make the pineapples into burnt kabobs.

Water washes the pineapples, a little bruising at best.

Earth?

Somehow I don't think that'll do anything more than some bruises and dirt.

Wind?

A scratch or two at most. Maybe some dried pineapples?

Somehow I doubt Asuka's Mangekyo will work against them.

Genjutsu? They're too dim-witted.

Taijustu will hurt us more than them.

Weapons? Somehow I don't think they die unless they lose their flavor.

What can we—

Boy am I stupid!!!

It couldn't get anymore obvious!!!

Giant pineapples.

Yoshie and self-conscious/anorexic blonde.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Okay, here's what we'll do, Yoshie and Ino will be key factors in this plan," Shikamaru began. Looks like he figured it out before I did. "Asuka and Electra will burn or cut the pineapples, Choji and I will hold any stubborn pineapples in place and most importantly, Ino, Yoshie, you eat them." So damn simple.

"Hai!"

I summoned my Lightning Blade and Asuka her extra-long katana. I transformed mine into a double-edged sword.

"Let's do this!"

I jumped up high, raising my blade above my head and bringing it down on the first pineapple, cutting it clean down the middle.

"Ino! Over here!!!" I signaled the blonde, stabbing a pineapple who had just tried to sneak up on me. I twirled the blade, cutting the pineapples side, shocking it with a powerful electrical current at the same time. I moved and whirled the blade, cutting both pineapples into smaller pieces. It's so weird, I couldn't twirl a baton if my friends' lives depended on it, but I can twirl a double-edged blade no prob. It's like my hands were made for killing.

Or maybe they just weren't made for twirling batons?

Well either way, pineapples one and two were sliced and diced, Ino already downing the first half. I moved on the Asuka's side, parrying a pineapple with ease. I made several hand signs and moved my right hand to my mouth.

"Fire style: Flamethrower Jutsu!" A hot burst of energy formed and spiraled with overwhelming energy at the ring of pineapples. That sentence probably sounded cool until you read 'pineapples'.

"Katon: Karyuu Endan!" Asuka's signature fire dragon raced around and engulfed the large fruits in flames.

"Yoshie!" We yelled in unison. Said neko bounded over and licked her lips. The group of pineapples were gone.

"I'm sorry, I blinked, what happened?" Asuka cocked her head to the side quizzically.

"She ate them," I answered.

"Oh . . . "

-

-

-

"That oughta be the last of them. And if it isn't, I'm seriously gonna freak," I pushed my now-battle-axe Lightning Blade into the trunk of a fallen tree and leaned against it, my palms resting on the handle and my head resting on them.

"I almost actually feel full!" Yoshie grinned, licking her lips.

"There's always a first time for everything, right?"

"Shikamaru? Do you think eating all those pineapples made me fat?" Ino asked worriedly.

"Nah, you're still skinny."

"Who did you just call fat?!?!?!" Choji's eye twitched.

Oh boy . . .

-

-

-

"Is the damage dealt by the pineapples almost gone?" I asked upon arriving in the Hokage Office.

Upon.

Upon.

Upon.

Anyone else thinks that's fun to say (because I am in fact saying everything you see typed here, yes, even this)?

Upon doesn't even sound like a word anymore . . .

"Yes, with the help of Yamato, most of Konoha has been rebuilt. The only place left is the Hokage office, as you can see," Tsunade nodded.

The burnt up office still had some smoke rising up. A plank of wood fell from the ceiling and hit Tonton on the head.

"Really? I didn't notice!" Asuka drawled sarcastically. Yoshie plopped on the ground and scratched her wolf ear with her foot.

Plopped.

Plopped.

Plopped.

Plopped is also a funny word that's also fun to say.

So is also.

Nyah, back to the story.

I shrugged and suddenly straightened up.

"I just lost the game."

"You know what, Electra-chan?" Yoshie stopped scratching her ear and looked up at me.

"What?"

"Of all the things you're good at, the game just isn't on of them." I rolled my eyes.

"No kidding, I always thought I was the best person at the game!" I'm a very sarcastic person. Asuka smiled.

"What's the game?" Choji asked between munching on his BARBEQUE chips.

I wants me barbeques . . .

"The game is . . . Electra, what are you doing?"

"I know what it looks like, but I am NOT trying to steal Choji's bag of barbeque potato chips!" I put my hands up defensively.

I'm actually a very good liar, but messing around and pretending you aren't is really fun!

"MY CHIPS!!!!!!!" I pouted.

"I thought so . . . "

**So, thanks to my block, I had trouble coming up with a new plot thing for this chapter. So I talked to Yoshie (I know you all love her, but could you spare some love for me and Asuka?) and she gave me this plot line. This is the actual thing, copy/pasted from her message.**  
_**Choji goes with Shika on an expedition to discover NEW, EXOTIC PINEAPPLES!  
And Shika becomes leader of a clan of renegade semi-human oid pineapples and also meets his long-lost cousin, Pineapple Pete. **__**  
**__**Ino...EATS ALL THE PINEAPPLES! ^_^  
I am honestly making this up as I go. XDD  
I have no idea why I'm even writing this.**_

I took this plot and Electra-ized it. So, um, yeah . . . After Team Bonding: Kakashi, I'm starting the Team Hebi arc, Asuka, Sakura, Mish and I will "escort" them (Sasuke's still on probation). 


	33. Chapter 33

Whee!!! After a long-ish wait, chapter 33 is FINALLY HERE!!! This is, by far, my longest chapter yet. It's mostly about Sasuke and his weird mood swings. Asuka and I were talking about it at school and it was funnier then than it is now. Speaking of which, I'll be updating more and more slowly. More homework, less computer hours . . . Oh the horror!!!

Disclaimer: I spent all this time trying to come up with an awesomely witty disclaimer. I got nuthin'.

Chapter 33

Team Bonding: Kakashi

Today was finally the last day of Team Bonding. Who ever knew four days could be so long? It's like the first few days of high school all over again. Di-sgus-ting. So, I was going to approach the unknown (Team Kakashi) alone. Asuka and Yoshie were being tortured by Guy and Lee for seven and a half hours straight. And earlier that day, Tsunade called us to her office to assign Kira Misha Hatake to Team Mental as group leader. Sure we're all Chunin (besides Kira Misha, she's Jonin, ex-ANBU), but we don't have half the experience that the rest of the Konoha shinobi have. So there's that.

Since Mish became sensei of our group, we have been assigned a "mission". Simple really, just need to prank the members of the team of which we are "bonding" with today. Mine is not a prank, per say, more of a practical joke.

"Hey guys! How goes it!?" I waved as I approached the torri gate/bridge that the team sat on. Naruto sat on the railing, Sasuke leant against the side opposite of Naruto. Sakura sat cross-legged between them with Yamato and Kakashi behind her. Kakashi was reading his book, Yamato taking several "innocent" glances at the text. Mish was sitting contently on one of the gates. Sai was sitting with his back facing me, painting the scene.

"Great! So, what's new?" Sakura answered happily. I tapped my chin thoughtfully.

"I slept with Itachi last night," I said finally.

Yamato-senpai stared incredulously.

Kakashi-sensei dropped his book

Kira Misha froze.

Naruto fell into the river.

Sakura choked.

Sai's mouth dropped open, in real surprise too.

Sasuke's hand fell to his sheathed katana.

I blinked.

"What?"

I blinked again and Sasuke was face-to-face with me, Sharingan whirling angrily. Well, chest-to face; I was short for my age. Ryu left his position on my shoulder and circled above our heads, ready to "let one loose" if Sasuke tried anything.

"You fucking slept with my brother?" He growled. I blinked.

"Come again, Uchiha?"

"You had sex with my brother?" I burst out laughing.

"As if! Yeah, I would really tell you guys about my sex life. A whole bunch of perverted idiots, Sakura and Mish? C'mon Uchiha, get real!"

They blinked again.

"Then what do you mean by that?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"I was going through my stuff yesterday and found that I accidentally packed-" I pulled out an object "-this before I left home. I threw it on my bed and left it there. So, I ended up sleeping with it."

"Electra?" Mish said slowly, as if I was stupid. I kinda was. It's not everyday you forget that humans have two hands.

"Nyah-huh?" My version of 'yeah?'. I'm starting to think the Vesuvin kekki genkai could have some side effects.

"That's a stuffed otter." I slouched and rolled my eyes.

"I know that." And I did. "That's why I named it Itachi."

Sasuke stiffened a little and Sakura gave him a meaningful look before stepping forward. I guess they made-up a while after Sasuke came back, they seemed to be on unfriendly terms until before I left for Orochi-bastard. The Uchiha didn't loosen up in the slightest.

"Itachi means 'weasel', not 'otter'," the pinkette stated. I rolled my eyes, again.

"I know that too. What I don't know is the Japanese word for otter. So, I named it Itachi, because an otter is basically a water weasel? Right?"

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

"I just lost the game."

"MISH!!! You made me lose the game!"

-

-

-

Step one.

SUGAR!!!

Plan B.

Alcohol.

Plan C.

I'm working on that.

Step two.

Release.

Step three.

Enjoy.

It's foolproof, which means not even I can mess it up!!!

-

-

-

Step one.

"Hey, we can have breakfast at my place. I'll cook!" I volunteered before anyone else could. Sakura is horrible cook. Naruto equals ramen. Sasuke equals tomatoes. Kakashi never takes off his mask, how does he what his food tastes like? I'm afraid to taste Yamato-senpai's food. Sai? Oh boy, don't even GO there. I got nothing for Mish.

-

-

-

"So what do you guys want, and NO ramen or tomatoes!!!" I snapped when Sasuke and Naruto's mouths opened. They closed instantly.

"Don't give them the choice, just make something," Kakashi suggested lazily.

Good enough for me!

"I just hope the girl doesn't poison us . . . " I heard Sasuke mutter when I left the small dining room. Hmmm . . . sounds like something I would do. These people know me too well.

"Electra-san wouldn't do that to us." Well, everyone but Sai.

-

-

-

"Enjoy? I dunno."

"Oh my gosh, I LOVE this!!! What's in it?" Sakura gushed excitedly. Wow, I didn't know it would take effect that quickly.  
"Sugar, and cereal. And milk. That's it."

"I hate sweets," Sasuke deadpanned.

"More legal than poison, Uchiha."

"Touché."

"So she would poison us?" Sai asked.

-

-

-

I'll spike their drinks.

I already spiked their drinks.

They already drank their drinks.

They're drunk.

Hehehehe . . .

This is going to be fun.

Sasuke swallowed loudly as he slammed his "water" onto my table. I swear I saw the wood crack. I put my hands up defensively.

"I'm sorry Sasuke! Well, not really . . . but you get the point. After you said you don't like sweets, I thought you were to type who liked spicy. So I put a lot of peppers in your omelets and although I enjoy your pain, I'm sorry!"

I bowed "apologetically".

Sasuke looked really dark. Almost terrifying.

"Asuka, turn off the dramatic music."

The other Uchiha pouted and switched off her shiny stereo.

"Meh." She headed back to Team Guy. Shiny.

"KukukukhehehheheheHE!!!" Amazingly, that wasn't me. Shiny.

It was Sasuke. Shiny.

Gasp.

Gasp.

Shiny.

Gasp.

Gasp.

Gasp.

Gasp.

Gasp.

"So much –hic- gasping!!!" Sasuke exclaimed in a high pitched voice, throwing his arms to my ceiling.

"I think something's wrong with Sasuke-kun . . . " I quipped innocently.

"No! Really!?" Mish rolled her eyes.

-

-

-

We moved from my apartment to . . . someplace . . . in Konoha. Our area was surrounded by a metal railing, and not only that, it was 90 degrees to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. No shade, it must be Kakashi-sensei's twisted idea of some kind of endurance test.

"It's –hic- hot out here-hic-!" Naruto exclaimed, obviously drunk.

"No der you freakin' idiot-hic-!!!" Sakura yelled, blasting Naruto 300 meters away.

"Psh, anger issues much?" I smirked.

"OMG!!! THE –hic- CHEESEPUFFS ARE –hic- ATTACKING!!!" Sasuke hollered, running around in circles.

"Yamato-senpai! Sasuke-kun is scaring me!" Kira Misha whimpered, clinging to Fish-Eye. Sasuke made puppy eyes.

"Kawaii!" I squealed, patting Sasuke on the head. He panted and barked like . . . Akamaru. I shivered.

"Sasuke is such a . . . girl!" I winced. Sasuke clung to me and sniffled.

"You –hic- don't –hic- like me? Gasp –hic- ! The potato chips –hic- are poking my –hic- pinky!" I lifted my left leg and stamped it on Sasuke's head, pushing him to the ground.

"Nyah! Electra-chan –hic- ! That hurt!"

"Did you just steal my thing?"

"That sounded –hic- wrong," Naruto stated the obvious (again). He lost his balance and fell on his butt. "I fell." He hiccupped.

"Meh, you know what I mean Naruto, he "Nyah-ed" and that is MY thing!"

"Still sounds wrong!" He hiccupped. Sakura did the same and punched him on the head, creating a 10 meter hole in the concrete ground.

"My butt –hic- hurts now!" Naruto complained.

"You still –hic- like me, right!? –hic- Right!?!? RIGHT!?!?!? Yeahz!!! I –hic- stills gots my –hic-Uchiha charm!!! Shannaro!!!"

"Did Sasuke –hic- just steal my thing -hic-?"

Naruto climbed out of his hole and put his hand on the railing, feeling the bruise on his head.

"YOWCH!!! THAT'S –hic- FRIDGIN' HOT!!!" He shouted, jumping ten feet in the air. "Seriously-hic-! Feel –hic- it! It's hot!" Naruto pointed at the metal railing. Kakashi blinked.

"Are we really stupid enough to feel metal out in the sun when it's 98 degrees out here?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke, Mish and I stared at each other excitedly.

"Psh, YEAH WE ARE!!!"

We raced to the railing.

"Oh-hic-, let's have a –hic- contest to see who can –hic- hold onto the hot –hic- metal the longest!" Sasuke chuckled animatedly.

"I like this new Sasuke!" Mish smiled.

"I could get used to this!" I laughed in response.

-

-

-

"It's a –hic- beautiful day! Isn't it –hic- Sakura-chan!?" Sasuke threw flower petals at the annoyed Haruno.

"Sasuke Uchiha –hic- seemed oddly happy –hic- today," Naruto narrated in a deep voice.

"Shut your –hic- trap Uchiha!" Sakura threatened him with a chakra infused fist.

"Sakura didn't –hic- like it," Fishcake continued.

"Aw! Saku-chan –hic-! Don't be –hic- like that! Good –hic- girls don't play rough –hic-!!!" Said Uchiha twirled around and winked at Sakura.

"She –hic- didn't like Sasuke –hic- being such a sissy, -hic- she had had –hic-enough!"

"I'm a –hic- freakin' ninja! I'm –hic- not a good girl!!!" The weird pulse/vain symbol appeared on Sakura's giant forehead. I peeled one part off and used it as a mini boomerang.

"Electra provoked –hic- the fight, and –hic- soon Sakura was kicking –hic- Sasuke's girly butt!" Uzumaki continued to describe everything that happened.

"This is going to be a long day . . . " Kakashi flipped out his book.

"You're telling me . . . " Yamato sighed.

"I wonder what could possibly be going on!" Mish said, voice dripping with sarcasm. I shrugged innocently.

"I couldn't possibly imagine what's going on!" I said, purposely over exaggerating my "innocent" voice.

"Electra put up a –hic- convincing innocent act."

"My, my, my! –hic- Electra-chan, did you do –hic-something with your –hic-hair today? I never noticed how shiny –hic- it was!" Sasuke looked at my hair with sparkly eyes.

"Sasuke found someone who –hic- actually had hair that caught his eye!" Naruto yelled, speaking into an invisible microphone, slamming his fist on an invisible desk.

"It's . . . always been this way . . . " my eye twitched.

"Oh! How silly of –hic- me not to notice the sheen of beauty it has! I –hic-feel so embarrassed!" Sasuke's index finger touched his chin and he blushed. Oh yeah, and that "sheen of beauty" is the sweat from being out in the hot sun.

"Sasuke continues to be a –hic- sissy and I continue to –hic- narrate, what will happen? Stay –hic- tun-" Naruto was cut off by Sakura's foot smashing into his face and landing him in the Sand Village.

"Freakin'-hic- idiot."

"Riiiiiight . . . " I looked away. "Let's just . . . back away . . . really . . . QUICKLY!!!" I ran. I faintly heard a

"And so –hic- Electra ran!"

That sounded suspiciously like Naruto . . .

-

-

-

We were sitting in my air-conditioned apartment again, this time in my bedroom. I sat against "The Wall" in which was my favorite wall.

In the right corner of "The Wall" was my fave beanbag chair. Lightning yellow covering with electric blue stitching. So totally me. Next to the beanbag I was currently occupying was the chair that kinda looked like a wide and shallow basket with a cushion on it. I don't know what it's called, but it was blood red with white stitching and a couple pink shades/white striped/polka dotted pillows. Sakura inhabited that portion of "The Wall", grabbing a root beer from the mini fridge next to her. She angrily flicked it off and into Naruto's foot that was resting above my bowl of chips and stuff, which was placed on top of the mini fridge. Naruto was sprawled upon (hehe . . . upon is still a funny word) my window seat. The bay window that was above him let in the light, but did its best to keep out the heat.

"Hand me a Popsicle, will ya Mish?" The younger Hatake laid on the foot of my bed, facing the mini fridge. She pulled open the door and tossed me a cherry Popsicle. I muttered a "Thanks" and switched on the fan. Ryu stood in front of the fan and spread his falcon wings to their full wingspan. His white chest feathers rustled and his outer black-brown ones seemed to be happy.

"Why is it so –hic- hot?" Sasuke sighed deeply.

"Why is he going emo again?" I sucked on my flavored ice.

"Why does my life –hic- suck?"

"Oh boy, -hic- here we go again." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"My brother killed my clan and I –hic- thought he loved me. I'm so –hic- stupid. I thought he was a kind –hic- brother. He betrayed me. I'm-"

"Going to smack the Wiener schnitzel out of you if you don't shut up?" I cut in.

"Even my so-called friends –hic- want to hurt me, they don't care –hic- about me . . . "

"If I hurt you, it means one of two things. I either hate your freakin' guts, or you're a really close friend and that's my sick, demented, twisted way of showing I care!" I explained for the 378th time, and yes, I _have_ been counting.

"And Electra –hic- hates my guts," The Uchiha continued.

"Aw! –hic- Electra don't –hic- hate cha! –hic- You're a –hic- really close friend to her –hic-!" Sakura patted his back.

"And my –hic- only "girl friend" pities me . . . "

"What about Hinata? Ino? Ayame? Tenten? Tsunade? Temari? They must feel so unappreciated," Naruto shook his head, which was now hanging off my window chair and lolling to the side.

"And my so-called best friend is –hic- ashamed of me." Freakin' Emo hamster.

"You think your life sucks?" Mish half-sang in a catchy tune that sounded suspiciously like Avenue Q's 'It sucks to be me'.

"I think so."

"Your problems aren't so bad!" She pointed at Kakashi.

I had a horrible feeling she and Sasuke would break into song.

"I'm kinda pretty," Kira Misha fluffed her (she was still upside-down) four-bun hair. "And pretty damn smart." Now the emo guinea pig was joining the emo hamster in singing. Wait . . . blackmail material right here!!! I whipped out a video camera.

"You are!" Sasuke said, slightly happier.

"Thanks! I like romantic things like music and art. And as you know I have a gigantic heart so why??? DON'T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!?!?!? FUCK!! It sucks to be me!" I opened my mouth with my tongue hanging out, pointing into my mouth and pretending to gag. Mish didn't want a boyfriend! Did she?

"Me too," Sasuke's eyes were closed and tears were coming out in drunken waves. It's a good day when you get Team Kakashi drunk.

"It sucks to be me!"

"It sucks to be me!"

"It sucks to be Brian!"

"And Kate!"  
"Did they change their names while I went to get this soda?" Yamato asked, walking in with a bottle of Coke. My mini-fridge ran out of soda.

"To not have a job!" Doesn't being a shinobi count?  
"To not have a date!" I'm still pretty sure Mish doesn't want a boyfriend.

"It sucks to be me . . . "

Naruto joined them on their stage/my bed.

"Bicker, bicker, fight, fight, disagree, bicker!" Naruto complained. Apparently, he was playing Rod and Nicky.

"Hey Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us, do you have a second?"

"Hehehe, major blackmail material! Asuka and Yosh would be proud!"

"Uh . . . "

"Whose life sucks more, Brian's or mine?"

"Tch, OURS!!!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing his hands upwards. "We live together-" Naruto turned around and stepped backwards, talking to the empty space where he just was.

"We're close as people can get-" He switched places again,

"We've been the best of buddies-" And again,

"Ever since the day we met!" And again,

"So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset-" And again,

"Wha-?" And again.

"Everyday is an aggravation!" Was there a performance of Avenue Q? I haven't gotten to see that musical yet!

"C'mon that's an exaggeration!" Talk about a split personality.

"You leave your clothes out-" That's why we went to my apartment, not his.

"Wha- huh!?"

"You put your feet on my chair!"

"Oh yeah!? You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!" If _only_ Naruto were that clean . . .

"You make that very small apartment we share a _HELL_!!!" I don't see why he doesn't use a shadow clone instead of switching places all the time.

"So do you! That's why I'm in hell too!"

"It sucks to be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Naruto.

"No, it sucks to be meeeeeeeeee!" Naruto.

"It sucks to be meeeeeeee!" Mish.

"It sucks to be me!" Sasuke. How very interesting . . . They're _all_ emo?

"Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?!?!?!" They linked arms with tears running down their face in the most hilarious way possible.

"It sucks to be me!" They fell backwards on my bed/their stage. Mish looked like she was throwing a tantrum, Sasuke was sucking his thumb in the fetal position and Naruto was stretched out so that his head and legs hung over the sides of my bed. Sai clapped happily, smiling that fake smile. When no one else clapped, he looked around nervously and slowly came to a halt.

"And CUT!!! That's a wrap!!! What does that mean?" I asked Sakura. She shrugged.

"I just lost the game."

"ELECTRA!!! YOU MADE ME LOSE THE GAME!!!"

-

-

-

"I feel cranky and pubescent today and I don't know why!" Sasuke kicked my coffee table over, spilling the green tea over my carpet. I looked up from my barely-saved vanilla mocha and at him.

"You're cleaning that up." Sasuke ignored me and continued.

"Grrr. I'm going to take it out on people I like!"

"Yeah . . . I'm going to be leaving now . . . " Meh, apparently Naruto's a chicken and Sasuke/Mish/Naruto like stealing lines from plays/popular youtube videos.

"Electra! What's wrong with you!? You're always having stupid mood swings-"

"Look who's talkin' Uchiha."

"-and nobody understands you! Not even my sister!!! You never try and you always come out on top!!! Why is that!? Huh!? You tie with me and you don't even have _half_ the experience or knowledge that I do!!! You let people fall during that trust exercise, so how can I trust you on a mission!?!? Why do you have to be so insanely annoying like that!?!?" Hm, apparently Sasuke doesn't hiccup during rants.

"Aww!!! Sasuke-kun likes me!!!" I "gushed".

"I freakin' HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!!!"

"And in Sasuke language, that means he likes me. He calls Sakura annoying all the time and everyone knows he has a Huge-O crush on the girl." Sakura blushed and looked away. Sai was taking notes.

"And YOU Kakashi-sensei!!! You're always late!!! Isn't it about time YOU were the one who had to wait!?" Kakashi's eye closed into an upward arc, sheepish expression under the mask.

"Now, now Sasuke. Calm down. We know you're drunk and-"

"Who YOU calling drunk you –hic- pervert old man!?" Sasuke flopped backwards, passed out.

"I rest my case."

"Poke. Poke. Poke," Kira Misha said, poking the unconscious Uchiha with a stick.

"Poke. Poke. Poke," Sai joined her.

-

-

-

"Meep. I'm scared. Hold me Kakashi-senpai." Gosh that sounded wrong.

"Not on your life Tenzo-san."

"Yamato. Did you just –hic- breath on my hair?" Meh, overreaction much? I mean first girly and now pop diva/drama queen material. And actually, Yamato looked pretty scared. The dude was tough, I'm surprised he wasn't in ANBU. And to be scared of a chunin, but then again, Sasuke was trained by Orochimaru. Who in their right mind wouldn't be afraid? I'm not afraid, 'cause frankly, I'm never in my right mind.

"CHIDORI!!!" And even I'm not violent enough to Chidori someone for breathing on my hair. Well, at least not when I'm in a really, really good mood. If I Chidori-ed someone for that, it's probably because Tsunade hasn't been giving me enough violent missions and I need to vent my anger. Not just _anyone_ gets sent to anger management classes in the third grade because all your second grade classmates were afraid of you!

Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum . . .

Sasuke seemed to have cooled down, or at least as much as a violent Sasuke could. Naruto seemed scared out of his wits, or whatever wits he ever did have. Sakura was uninterested, I was half-asleep, Mish was obviously plotting (evil geniuses don't need to hide their plotting from their victims), Kakashi was reading his book (big surprise there) and Yamato was crippled and being brought to the hospital. I instinctively took a step back, my head falling downwards. I pulled it back up before my chin hit my clavicle. I yawned.

"Anyone else bored out of their minds?"

A resounding noise rebounded off the walls of Kira Misha's home. Two red splatter marks appeared on Kira Misha's white wall. _Blood_ red. I touched my cheek, where I felt a smudge of some kind of liquid. Yeah, blood. I moved my hand up a little more, my fingertips brushed a tender portion of skin. The numb feeling underneath the apple of my cheek started to throb.

Sasuke punched me.

My bloodstained my dropped to my side and tightened into a fist. I felt my brown eyes burn into too-blue-to-be-true eyes. Lightning's eyes. I blinked and the sensation was gone.

Electricity crackled and danced around my arms.

"It's on Uchiha." He smirked.

"Let's take this outside."

-

-

-

"I hope they won't destroy each other," Sai said, unfeelingly.

"Well if they do, I'm not healing them," Sakura said grumpily, leaning back against a rock, crossing her legs and folding her hands behind her head. I tilted my head back to hear more of their conversation. In hushed voices they were betting on who would take victory. I looked back at Sasuke. My right foot slid back and I bent my knees, putting my hands up into stance. He hiccupped and cleared his throat. Sasuke wobbled a little to the left and barely caught himself.

"Ready? Go!" Naruto waved a checkered flag and RAN off the battleground.

"Are you ready for this, Uchiha?" I raised my hand up, Ryu's talons gripped my hand.

"I was –hic- born ready," Sasuke grinned wildly. I bent my arm, raising it quickly, causing Ryu to launch off his perch. I transformed into a hawk (Sadly, I can't transform into a falcon) and Ryu and I circled around each other. Sasuke looked up dizzily at us, his eyes opening wide. We dived bombed the drunken Uchiha.

"Holy crap, -hic- Electra! What the –hic- hell are you doing? –hic- " I returned into my original form.

"What do you mean? I'm beating the crap outta you," I scoffed. Away from the pressure and expectations of school, I've been getting more comfortable cussing in English than in Japanese.

"Why? What did I do?" I gave him a You-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look. He looked confused.

"You freakin' PUNCHED me for no good reason!!!" I was getting aggravated. The word aggravated reminds me of gravel. Doesn't it?

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Vesuvin."

"Shut your trap, Uchiha." I kicked him.

"So who won?" Sai asked.

-

-

-

"Meh, this is kinda backfiring on me," I grumbled, crossing my arms. Mish nodded in agreement. I sighed, crossing my legs Indian-style and rocking back and forth.

"I didn't even get to beat him up! What's the point of being a ninja when you don't get to beat people to a pulp?" I complained. I wrinkled my nose then sneezed.

"That's why. You can't go on any stealth, let alone assassination, missions because your allergies are acting up," Mish stated knowingly.

"So I've basically been fired from being a ninja the rest of the summer?" I deadpanned, tapping my finger on my (shiny) phone and switched the music to a semi-emo song.

"Frankly, the concept of a confused Sasuke isn't as funny as I thought it would be," Mish sighed. Sasuke was stroking his imaginary goatee and looking at a paper towel and a porcelain plate, and then the water puddle between the two.

"Well aren't we using actual sentence things?" I dropped my head backwards, succeeding in hitting my head against Mish's wall. "Some ninja I am," I said, rubbing the back of my head.

It occurred to me I've been hanging out with too many emo people and they were starting to rub off on me.

I heard a crash.

"Naruto! What'd you break this time?!" I called. Sasuke came stumbling through the doorway, spaghetti noodles hanging off his slightly flattened hair, a colander placed on the side of his head. Instead of making a witty remark, I yawned and sneezed.

A potato was shoved into his mouth and his foot was in a bowl of what looked like oatmeal. His "dashing" entrance was followed by a none-too-happy entrance of a fuming Sakura. Sasuke's clueless expression (and the food) and Sakura's mumbling of "I'm not flat" as well as the positioning of her arms over her chest area told a pretty obvious story of Sakura induced torture. The Uchiha stumbled over to our sitting area to join us.

"you are as hopelessly clueless as _Sai_," My sensei sighed. Sai poked his head out of a doorway.

"Did someone call my name?" he asked politely.

"Yeah, Kira Misha-san did," Sasuke answered simply.

"I hope Sasuke gets his next mood swing soon."

-

-

-

"You know how we wanted clueless Sasuke to leave?" I asked Mish. She nodded slowly, not knowing where I was going. "I like that Sasuke more that _this_ Sasuke."

"The younger Hatake nodded in agreement. Meanwhile the elder was trying to snap Sasuke out of his reverie. Said Uchiha had a dreamy glint in his sunset-facing eyes.

Scary.

Really scary.

We were back on the tori bridge, dangling our legs over the river of water below. My legs were too short to touch the surface though. Sasuke was beside us looking off into the distance. Sakura and Naruto were already suffering from their hangovers. Apparently, Sasuke doesn't have very high alcohol tolerance. But you'd think it's be the other way around. Or maybe Sasuke never got drunk at all and he just needed an excuse to pull that pole outta his ass. If only for a little while. I'll have to threaten him into telling me the truth later.

"I just lost the game," I stated. Sakura groaned.

"No need to yell it to the world," Naruto grumbled grumpily. Yes, I did that on purpose. The grumbled grumpily thing. I merely raised an eyebrow. Sakura stood up and prepared a chakra infused fist.

"Look who's talking, Uzumaki." She growled, wincing at the booming effect at the booming effect it had on her ears. Unfortunately, for her, Sakura was still a little woozy. She stumbled and tripped, her fist collided with Kakashi sending the in-shock Jonin . . . somewhere. About five minutes later, (those five minutes were spent in silent confusion, day dreamy chuckles and cheesy puffs) Kakashi came floating down the river, opposite the direction the pinkette punched him. Call me crazy, (please do, I'm feeling unusually mellow today and could use some reassurance) but I don't think Sakura seriously blasted the guy all the way around the world in five minutes float. But then again, nothing (barely anything) is impossible. Right?

-

-

-

One trip to the hospital later, Sasuke's mood changed yet again. Why must people have so many emotions? This one must be the worst one yet. _The_ Sasuke Uchiha was being . . . _romantic_. Cue gasping.

I was freakin' out.

Unconscious Kakashi was freakin' out.

Misha was freakin' out.

Sakura was freakin' out.

Naruto was freakin' out.

Yamato was freakin' out.

Sai was NOT freakin' out.

Sasuke tried to make conversation with Naruto on what his perfect girl would be like. But I was too busy pretending to gag in the corner to get some juicy blackmail.

Ever since the Chunin exams, Uchiha has slowly (really quickly actually, quicker than Kakashi traveled the world) been regaining his fan girls. I was caught up with them only once. It was _horrifying_. Did you know the dude has at least three fan girls over the age of 75?

So apparently, scarring me for life with the fan girlishness isn't enough (even Asuka's got them! Boys though. Only a few lesbos) they always come up to me with hearts in their eyes, asking me, and I quote, "What it like to be dating/best friends with Sasuke Uchiha?" Ugh. Because we live in a world where a girl can't be friends with a guy without being accused of dating him.

Now that's just wrong.

I'm gonna start a rumor that Sasuke and Sakura are dating. Or better yet, Kakashi instead of Sakura . . . Now where was I . . . ?

Oh yeah, Naruto was annoyed at first, but after a while he kinda got into it, in spite of his hangover. Meh, Naruto and Sasuke are such girls!!! I swear they talk more about the opposite sex than Ino and Sakura! Oh, and I just lost the game. Then, Uchiha made a rose pop out of nowhere and started plucking petals, giggling all the way. Now where did I put that video camera . . .

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not . . . " Sasuke continued the process, taking great care in not ripping the delicate petals. Mish came over to the Uchiha.

"aw! I used to do that too!" she squealed in mock excitement, her tone suddenly darkened, "but then I turned four." I gave a small laugh of appreciation. I myself probably didn't stop until about five years ago, I'm sixteen. I curse my hormones, I spit on puberty.

'Cause I am just that awesome.

And not only that, but supremely modest.

Oh yeah. Uchiha Sasuke's constant hiccups and Sakura's and Naruto's even more constant groans were starting to get on my nerves.

Three.

Two.

One.

. . . hmmm . . . a little bit early . . . one more time.

Three.

Two.

"I'm going out for some unhospital-infected air." A little early. I said that with finality, my previously occupied chair squeaked in protest when I stood up. I (unsuccessfully) tried to keep my eye from twitching like the one hyper squirrel . . .

I promptly left the hospital via window.

Via is another funny word. What does it even mean? I honestly have no idea whatsoever. Whatsoever, that's also a weird word. What, so and ever combined . . . I mean, what's the point? But you're probably bored of me talking/typing about all the weird words in the world (try saying that five times fast!) like 'shoulders' and things like that.

Did you ever notice I get off track sometimes? Now let me scroll back up to see where I left off.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Aa.

Meh, I've been spending way too much time with Sasuke. No wonder the fan girls think we're dating.

I landed outside the front door and breathed in deeply. I rolled my shoulders backwards and summoned Ryu, who was perched on the windowsill.

I'm _so_ not avoiding them for the rest of the day. For the record, I've been spending too much time with emo people and they're starting to rub off on me. I grinned.

Twitchy.

That's the name of the hyper squirrel . . .

**I just lost the game. So, um, yeah. I'll be updating more story, gonna try to bring some more of my own life into this fic . . . not all that exciting, but still. Team Hebi arc begins after this, I'm actually gonna start following (part of) the original Naruto plot! I bet you didn't see that coming!!! Oh yeah!!!**

**Electra over and out!**


	34. Chapter 34

I am supremely frustrated beyond frustration. This is the fridgin' SECOND time I've had to rewrite this chapter. Which means I've written this stupid thing three times. I'm very angry right now.

**Disclaimer: I'm angry, don't bug me right now.**

Chapter 34

I don't like getting up at 5 in the morning.

I don't like getting up before noon period.

Don't you find it kind of annoying how you don't want to go to bed at night and you don't want to get up in the morning? If you don't, you're weird.

And not in a good way.

BUM, BUM, BUUUUUM!!!

I ESPECIALLY don't like getting a mission at 5 in the morning.

It can't get any worse.

Yeah, that's the funny thing about life, it can ALWAYS get worse.

I'm ESCORTING SASUKE UCHIHA.

And as I've mentioned before, I hate escort missions.

I also happen to mock hate Sasuke.

And worse still, (Why cruel world? What did I ever do to you?) my whole team wasn't with me. Yoshie ate one pineapple too many and got indigestion. It was bound to happen someday, right? She also got that burning sensation in her mouth that people (and nekos) get when they eat too many pineapples.

Pineapples be evil. CHA!!! I'M TALKING TO YOU SHIKAMARU!!!

Assembled in the room was Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kira Misha, Uchiha Asuka, Uchiha Sasuke, Vesuvin Electra (Woohoo!!! GO me!!!) and What's-her-face Tsunade. Woot. Alphabetical order. Ever notice that 'Alphabet' is made up of Greek letters alpha (a) and beta (b)? Anyways, Sakura was replacing Yoshie as the team medic.

So Team Mental minus neko plus pink-haired person, Sasuke and Tsunade were in the Hokage's office. Tsunade was reviewing the finer details of the mission. Mish was going to be team captain.

"Seeing as Sasuke is still on probation, you four will have to escort him and anyone else he intends on acquiring. If he tries to escape, contain him and bring him back to Konoha immediately. Kira Misha will be in charge, and Asuka? I trust you in taking good care of your older brother," Tsunade added the last part with a smug smile on her face, laughing at her little joke at the end, the one with the little sister taking care of the elder brother when it should be reversed. While the two Uchiha were twins, Sasuke was born a bit before Asuka Yeah, I know. Not that funny. Old people have a bad sense of humor. Not that mine is any better. Only twisted people would understand. I took a quiz and it said that I had a twisted sense of humor. Another one said I was a nice person though, so they can't be trusted.

Oh, by the way, doesn't Parliament sound like a fancy brand of soap? With little carvings and 'Parliament' written across the soap in cursive? Asuka thinks it sounds like a bird-dove thing. Ino thinks it sounds like the name of a fat person, no offense to fat-ish people though, it's not like you can help your weight. And don't take this the wrong way, but- never mind.

Back to the emoness . . .

"What were we supposed to do again?" Mish asked. And she's a JONIN. That automatically qualifies me as a Jonin right? I mean, I kick butt, remember my missions and I'm smart. Except for that one time when I forgot that people have two hands. And when I spelled 'the' as 'eh'. And when I bullied some kid 'cause I thought he took my grapes and they were in my hand. In my defense, the kid did take them a few times and the plastic bag they were in was held between my fingers and I couldn't feel them at all! Oh yeah, and the time when- well, you don't need to know that part.

Tsunade rubbed her temples; she was obviously suffering from (another) hangover.

"Sakura will re-explain."

We were dismissed from the office and started out on our mission. We were at the meeting point and was discussing the plans with Sasuke when Sakura suddenly asked:

"What was I supposed to re-explain?" Sasuke rolled his eyes and did what Sakura was supposed to do. I shrugged; making a small humming noise that meant, "I dunno know." Sasuke sighed disappointedly and repeated the mission.

Freakin' "perfect" Uchiha.

-

-

-

We were jumping through the woods like maniacs (Like we weren't already, well, at least MOST of us were!) when SOMEONE had to take a potty break. *coughSASUKEcough*

Thirty minutes later, Sasuke returned and Kira Misha exploded, not literally, if she did, Yoshie would be here *coughSHIKAMARUcough*

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?!? WE'VE BEEN WAITING THIRTY DAMN MINUTES!!! WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?!?!? YOUR HAIR!?!?!?" She yelled. I think she broke my eardrum . . . nope, still good.

"Aa."

-

-

-

Yay! Time for the Sasukese-to-English Dictionary.

Today's entry.

Aa. Def.

1. Okay

2. I give you my permission

3. Yes

4. I am in fact that awesome, and is very much so that all the words in the world cannot live up to my awesomosity and has been squashed into this very-small-not-even-classified-as-an-actual-word word

-

-

-

We all looked at him. Asuka especially. She flipped her hair, which was also chicken-butt style with straight hair cascading downwards under it. Her hair was naturally that way. Sasuke liked it, copied it, kept it and took credit for it. I would know. Asuka told me. Asuka knows all. Well, not really, but you get the point.

"Actual words now Uchiha," I reminded him. Sasuke smirked.

"Am I the only sane one here?" Sakura asked, putting her hand to her brow and shaking her head.

Sasuke and Asuka were arguing on who could kick the hardest and were hurting innocent trees and themselves (they were kicking pretty hard, oh! Are feet SUPPOSED to bend that way!?). Poor trees. I likes trees. Trees rock. Join the revolution.

Mish had her mask pulled off (Unlike Kakashi, her mask was strictly for mocking purposes) and was cross-eyed, trying to touch her nose with her tongue.

I was crouching next to a curled up root with an extremely interested look. I pulled on it.

"Straight." Release.

"Curly." Pull.

"Straight." Release.

"Curly." Pull.

"Straight."

Sakura let out an audible sigh. We all looked at her. "I rest my case." The pinkette went to the nearest tree and started banging her forehead against the rough bark. After a while, Sasuke put his pack on the tree, saving Sakura from a concussion. And for the record, we're all INSANE in –girlishly, sweet voice- our own special way!

It was really quiet, awkward silence, and I wondered if I had said that last part out loud. No one was looking at me. Whew. I was just about to shout 'A gay baby was born!' when Mish jumped up in the air victoriously.

"Yeth! I cam touth ma nosth wit ma tongth!!!" Her tongue-to-nose situation made for . . . um, interesting speech.

It was interesting enough to pull me away from my "curly-straight" trance. Speaking of which, curly, straight, curly, straight . . .

I suddenly jumped up, abandoning my root. Poor root. Roots are part of trees. I likes trees. Trees rock. Join the revolution.

"When are we going to get GOING already!?!?!? I wanna kick some serious butt!" I ended my sentence with a roundhouse kick that I held in mid-air. I sneezed. Sasuke smirked.

"You can't fight if you have allergies," He said bluntly. Stupid Uchiha. I threw a glare his way.

"Screw you, Uchiha," I hissed. Asuka half-smirked.

"Who? Me?" she asked innocently. I turned my infamous glare on her, and she burst into laughter. My death glares stopped working on her by the sixth grade. Asuka stopped laughing when my eyes flashed blue. I tightened my hand into a fist and swallowed, willing to overcome Lightning. NO ONE told me not to fight as a ninja before. NO ONE.

My eyes started to burn into the piercing too-blue-to-be-true eyes that Lightning possessed.

_(Overcome her, overcome her . . .)_

I took a deep breath

_(Did my breath just hitch? I MUST be getting soft)_

I closed my eyes and opened them. The burning was gone

_(How does she seem so nice in my mind? Almost as deceptive as I am)_

"Let's. Just. Go. Before I decide to kick YOUR butt." I grit my teeth.

_(Overcome)_

-

-

-

I was muttering darkly the whole way to . . . wherever. Just some basic plotting techniques I picked up from Mish. Asuka traveled next to me, ready to restrain me if I carried out my threat. She's the only one who can stop me from rampaging.

And even then I end up hurting someone.

When we arrived at a desolate metal institute (If there was a 'n' in 'metal', that would be the place for me!) I became confused. What did Uchiha want here? Yeah, from here on out, He-who-shall-not-be-named is now referred to as 'Uchiha'. Stupid Uchiha.

When we entered and found the room was filled with canisters of water, I became REALLY confused. But I was too mad at Uchiha to dwell on it. Stupid Uchiha.

I looked at Uchiha and to find no confused expression on his face was . . . confusing. Either we're A) lost and he won't admit it B) there's some kind of resource here that we can use C) we're lost and he's going to admit it later.

Uchiha came to the back of the place and stood in front of a giant holder of water. The water said something about Uchiha killing Orochimaru. Apparently, someone's been spreading a rumor about Uchiha murdering the sannin instead of suicide, like what REALLY happened. Oh well, a war between Sound and Leaf won't hurt anybody.

Hold up.

HOLY SHIT THE WATER'S TALKING!!! CALL FOR BACKUP!!!

And then I realized, Team Mental minus neko plus pink-haired medic was the backup.

CALL THE BACKUP'S BACKUP!!!

Or maybe I'm just delusional. It's more logical-ish.

"Is it just me or is the water talking?"

Or maybe the water really is talking!!!

Or both Asuka AND me are delusional. I'm betting on the last one.

Uchiha had already split the canister open and the water was leaking out and pooling in an odd way. A lump formed in the middle and gradually grew into a man. Ahem, WITHOUT clothes.

After a little conversation between the two guys, the man I learned was called "Suigetsu" seemed to teleport behind Uchiha, his hand positioned in a gun pointing at his temple.

For a moment, I thought Sharkboy was going to pull some amazing water jutsu that would SERIOUSLY injure Sas- um Uchiha. Or better!!!

Of course, along with the course of my bad day, my hopes were dashed with Suigetsu lifted his hand.

"Just kidding, a joke." Mental sigh "Even in this situation, not even an irregular heartbeat. So it wasn't just luck, I'm relieved." I'm not too sure what he means by that.

"I've heard rumors about you being strong from way back. Your team is the one that defeated my great senpai Momochi Zabuza, right? Speaking of which, I believe there was the Sharingan Kakashi, an orange ninja and a pink-haired chick on the team too," Suigetsu eyed Sakura and winked at her. Asuka gave her an encouraging nudge in the ribcage

_**A few sentences later . . .**_

"I get why Sasuke isn't reacting, but what you girls?" Suigetsu gestured to his, ahem . . . NUDE body. Sakura rolled her eyes. He was expecting something out of us. Freakin' pervs.

"I have a brother. A perverted one," Mish stated monotonously. Thank you! ANTI-PERVYNESS!!! DOWN WITH COME COME PARADISE!!!

"I'm looking away," Asuka said, and was doing so. Uchiha nodded approvingly. Any good big brother wouldn't want his little sister shamelessly staring.

"I'm a highly trained medic. The naked male body isn't exactly new to me," the pink-haired medic said tediously. I could've sworn I saw Uchiha twitch. 'Cause Sakura had seen . . . certain things.

"Holy crap, this guy is freakin' hot!" No, I'm not a pervert. I just have hormones. Most of us do. Suigetsu nodded, hearing what he wanted to hear. Yeah, I can read minds. You are currently thinking about raiding the fridge. And if you weren't then, you are now! Cheyeyah! I bet you're jealous of my MAD SKILLS!!!

Yeah back to the story.

-

-

-

We were headed to the Southern Hideout, to get some person named Karin. And for the record, I haven't exactly gotten along with anyone by that name or any name similar. I have a pretty good feeling this girl's a bitch too. I have a nose for this kind of thing

"Are we there yet?"

"Haven't you been listening? We're going to the Great Naruto Bridge, and we're here!" Sakura said, looking at me like I was a Naruto

I hang out with the guy a lot, I was probably becoming more and more like him.

I heard the story of the Great Naruto Bridge, who hadn't? Well, a lot of people actually. Sakura told me the story, that's how I know. But the story's starting to spread as Naruto does more and more amazing stuff. Defeating Akatsuki is hard, killing them is next to impossible. I've got to admit, the dude's _amazing_. Their Team is fridgin' _LENGEDARY!!!_

Not that my team's not.

We walked across the bridge in silence. Sakura had a reminiscent look on her face and Uchiha had what could POSSIBLY be qualified as a half-smile, but we're not sure, we're conducting research on the subject. And by we, I mean Asuka. No way in hell am I doing research after getting out of school.

Choosing to be a ninja was good for me. Getting paid to kill people and not getting arrested for it.

But unfortunately for me, I got locked up in our room in a motel that Uchiha rented for us. Suigetsu was Orochimaru's lab rat for kami knows how long so he was broke. That's leaves the former as the only guy with money. Because Uchiha brats (Asuka is not included, she left after, like, five years) were raised with manners and class even though such things are as ancient as the dinosaurs. And Sasuke went cheap anyways and instead of getting us separate rooms, got us one fucking HUGE room.

And I was locked up because _I_ the SUPREME, AWESOMELY AWESOME RULER OF SUPREME, AWESOMELY AWESOME BUTT-KICKERY and the TOUGHEST girl in the group (tough, not strength, Sakura beats me out there) was sick.

I caught a bug that's been going around. Uchiha told me to go home. I told him to die.

Of course I was going to stay on this mission!!! The first mission in FOREVER!!! Even IF it's an escort! Even IF I'm escorting a freakin' emotionally constipated and socially retarded bastard!!! It's a mission!!!

And it's MUCH better than Team Bonding.

But I was bored.

And it was a bad idea to leave a badly and extremely pissed off Electra in a room full of your possessions. And of course I did what and mature ninja would do.

I tried to control myself.

Haha, I bet you were expecting something different. And I said MATURE ninja. But I failed, miserably at controlling my anger. Well, I can control my anger, perfectly well if I wanted to, thank you very much. But that's just the thing, I don't want to.

What was a bored kunoichi who was pissed off at Uchiha who just HAPPENED to have to share a room with me, had a temper problem, and felt somewhat nosy to do?

Duh, I went through Uchiha's stuff.

It was just RIGHT THERE!!!

It was just SO TEMPTING!!!

He was just SUCH A BASTARD!!!

Tossing aside his old headband, some interesting weapons (ohh . . . more than two sharp and pointed edges), the official Team 7 picture (worn at the edges, does he look at it a lot?), a picture of three-year old him and Asuka (they're flashing peace signs, I wonder if Sasuke still knows how to smile like that?), an engagement ring, a credit card and a- Oh my freakin' god!!!

. . .

. . .

. . .

FREAKIN' RICH AND LOADED UCHIHA'S _**CREDIT CARD**_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-is throwing a huge mental party-

Sigh. Life is good.

I coughed.

Most of the time . . .

Then time of wondering how I was going to max out Uchiha's card came. I'm not the shopping for clothes type, jewelry, shoes, whatever. No, just no.

I vaguely considered videogames: stupid little addicting games like Animal Crossing and Cooking Mama. Maybe Raving Rabbids (Because I like rabid animals that throw destructive parties and use burps to destroy cities, and yes, for those of you that know, I totally rock at the particular game) or something; but besides them, not much other stupid but addicting games. Then the violent ones? Not much I there, I can do most of those things out in the real world. I can start a war if I really need too.

There was always the option of wasting it on useless souvenirs and sweets . . .

And of course right then the door burst open and the team poured in, a slutty red-head in tow.

Karin

I thought in disgust. That feeling of dislike, hate and instant detestation erupted. I decided I didn't like her, the voices in my head don't like her, and no way am I defying them again. Last time I did, it ended with no gigantic basket of candy and other fruity/sugary treats. And that's a sad, sad day that I am NOT revisiting.

Said slut looked at me weird and yelled in a voice that differed GREATLY from what I was expecting:

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SNOOPING THROUGH, SASUKE'S STUFF YOU PIG!?!?!?"

Ow. I think I part of me just died. Her voice was the squeaky, gets-high-when-angry-and-breaks-freakin'-windows type, and I confirmed a part of me died when the window cracked.

Then shattered.

"You know you're gonna have to pay for that right?" I jerked my thumb to the window-that-was. Poor window, it had hopes and dreams you know, Karin?!

She pointed a manicured finger at me.

"I bet you're just some hopeless fan girl stealing Sasuke's stuff because you're that desperate!" The failure-of-a-ninja predicted triumphantly.

Everybody, and yes, I mean EVERYBODY laughed.

Uchiha _chuckled_.

"Please, she's the LEAST likely to degrade herself to a fan girl of Sasuke!" Mish said between breaths. Karin's glasses slid off her nose; thought she was being smart now did she? Ha. Ha-ha-ha, I laugh at the notion.

"I was bored and pissy, and I found a credit card I'm totally going to max out on sweets and unnecessary sugar." I waved the credit card and stuck it in my weapons pouch when Uchiha tried to swipe it.

"You're a ninja, sugar isn't good for your body," He said bluntly. I stuck out my tongue at you. "Getting fat isn't good for you."

"I'll be telling Choji you said that when we get home, _Daddy,_" Because he really was acting like my dad.

"Whatever, can you leave us alone now?" Karin asked and batted her eyes in a way she thought was seductive but looked like she had something stuck in her eye.

And holy crap she started _groping _him.

Right.

There.

In.

Front.

Of.

Us.

Sakura was getting uncomfortable. And I was going to buy sugar and was dragging Asuka and Kira Misha along with me.

"Let go of me, Karin," Uchiha grit out, slapping the hands that were roaming his body. It was scary. I swear I was scarred for life, and Pervy Sage wasn't even there.

Sakura let a grin take over her face as she settled into her bed and pulled out a medical text.

Uchiha left to put his things back into his pack. His hands paused over a small object and he looked at me suspiciously, looking for me to give him some kind of clue. I was already out the door. He threw his stuff in without caring and ran after me.

-

-

-

I was walking in front of Asuka and Mish who were talking. I felt someone jerk me around by the shoulder. It was Uchiha.

"Credit card. Give. Now." He demanded.

"Now, now, now Uchiha. If you add pronouns and work on word arrangement, you'll have a full sentence!" I patted him on the head and walked off, only to get grabbed on the shoulder again.

"Fine, but you owe me for ruining my fun."

-

-

-

We all returned to the room (because Uchiha took his credit card back and I no longer had money to pay for sweets) and sat on our respective beds. Sasuke was meditating, Sakura was flipping through a romance novel (she ditched the medic book), Suigetsu was touching up and sharpening his newly acquired, big-ass sword, I was re-organizing my weapon pouch and shuriken holster, Asuka was tracing a pattern on her bed sheet, Mish was in the corner scribbling something onto a piece of paper. Probably a message to Tsunade or a letter to Yoshie. Last (and definitely least!) Karin was applying make-up. And apparently, green does NOT work for Karin the way it does for Sakura. It made me wonder why Uchiha decided to bring her along. She certainly wasn't a fighter like Suigetsu, me and most everyone else. Or a medic like Sakura. The way-too-slutty-in-a-way-that-puts-Ino-to-shame-no-offense-to-Ino girl didn't look particularly smart, eliminating strategist (and that position was already taken by Kira Misha). And she wasn't there for eye-candy because she butt-ugly and Uchiha isn't as shallow as I am. And Suigetsu doesn't like her. I listed off all the other possible jobs, and they were all either taken or she didn't qualify. Karin didn't seem like any use to me, just another mouth to feed.

-

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-

And now we were headed to the Northern Hideout. To find Jugo. And from the conversation the shinobi ahead of me were having I found out we were going to the top experimentation lab in Sound. It sounded _lovely_ and I just couldn't_ wait_ to see what it looks like. By the time we got there, a guard covered in his own blood staggered forward. Sakura caught him in her arms and lay him down gently to start healing him. Mere seconds later, she announced he would live and that the prisoners had started a riot. It was found to be true when a giant bullet shot out of nowhere and that bullet turned out to be a second stage curse mark guy.

"Can we fight 'em?" Suigetsu asked like a little boy asking for candy. I could tell we were going to get along.

"Just avoid vital organs." I rolled my eyes at Uchiha's softness and got out a scroll that summoned my Lightning Blade. Transforming the initial ninjato into a spear, I charged at the prisoners that were coming out to attack. We all jumped into battle. Kira was taking out enemies on by one with her summoning, Yuki. Asuka Uchiha had their Sharingan spinning fiercely, trapping most of them with a genjutsu since SOMEONE didn't want us to kill. Even though it WAS a good idea to do so, they were trying to kill us, who said they wouldn't try to wreak havoc in a populated area when we were done? But Uchiha didn't think of that! He just too soft to kill or see someone get killed. Way to ruin my fun even more!!!

-

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About 1000 asses kicked later (geez where does Orochimaru get these guys?) Karin found the keys on a guard. We entered yet another hideout, but in this one, you could practically smell the fear and anxiety rolling off the walls in snake-like coils. It was almost enough to unnerve me, but I have pride to deal with petty thinks like being afraid.

After twists, turns and Karin's attempt to get Uchiha alone (eww!!!), we arrived at a heavy-duty jail cell. Someone had gone out of their way to put unheard of amounts of locks on Jugo's cell, he couldn't possibly be_ that_ dangerous . . .

Sasuke cracked the door open after Karin(coughWHOREcough, did you SEE the way she was practically sticking her ass in Uchiha's face? It was _disgusting_) fumbled with the keys. I sneezed and wiped my nose. I hate being sick . . .

Before I knew it, Jugo had come charging out with incredible killing intent that could maybe match my own. I knew Uchiha's curse mark was re-enforced, as well as Asuka's, so they wouldn't disappear until a few moths after Orochimaru's death. And I had never seen Uchiha's second stage curse mark, until now. A somewhat grotesque version of Sasuke arose from a cloud of dust that Jugo caused. Only a part of him was transformed. One skirmish and one persuasion scene later (persuasion meaning my empty threats [still threatening though] and Sakura's big green eyes getting the better of Jugo's softer part), we left the hideout.

I threw my arms up to the sun and threw my arms up to the sun and threw back my head laughing.

"FREEDOM!!! Sweet, sweet freedom!!!" I quoted from my (not-so) famous line from the Wizard of Oz play in the seventh grade. I played a Munchkin (yeah, I'm THAT good at making my elders believe I'm a sweet little harmless girl) who had just been set free of the Wicked Witch of the East's rule. I started singing, dancing and spinning around in circles. Suigetsu pointed at me.

"I think she's high, did anyone give her some kind of medication I should know about?"

For the record I don't care if I'm high, Oro-hideouts aren't things I'm particularly fond of, thank you very much. So I'm GLAD to be out of there.

And besides that, I'm finally done typing (crap! My hands are cramping up!) this chapter and this is the end!!!


	35. Chapter 35

Yay, new chapter. It's short because I ran out of things to talk about. And um, yeah, finally some matchmaking, do not attempt without kunoichi supervision, your results may vary. Oh yeah. I just lost the game

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own it. For is not Kishimoto.**

Chapter 35

Knights in Shining Armor, Princesses in Towers and Fairytale Endings…AS IF!!!!!!!

In reviewing my day (looking for blackmail . . . ), I realized something.

When I was snooping around in Uchiha's weapon pouch . . .

Holy crab.

THE UCHIHA HAD AN (unusually large and actually very nice looking) ENGAGEMENT RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell did Sa-Uchiha have an engagement ring for?! I'm kinda afraid to ask, but not knowing things just doesn't sit right with me.

That aside, I wondered, which (un) lucky girl would receive it?

Kira Misha (no, just no),

Karin (even Uchiha has more sense than THAT, right?),

Sakura (hmmm . . . )

or me (I highly doubt it).

Or Asuka, but I'm pretty sure that's not what going to happen. I mean, that would be just plain creepy. I'm talking Orochimaru creepy.

-

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I hate fairytales.

I used to love them, Disney Princesses and Wicked Witches. I remember sitting with my (adoptive) cousins and telling each other what our lives would be like if we were in a fairytale (I remember I had a flying pink limo).

My (evil, pain-in-the-butt) sister would say 'and I have a yellow castle, and I have a yellow castle, and I have a yellow castle, and I hav- HEY!!! LISTEN TO ME!!! And I have a yellow castle and I have a yellow castle . . . ' and she would just drone ON AND ON!!! Anyone one else would have yellowcastlephobia. And embarrassing as it is (thank Kami-sama I have no dignity!), I wanted a Rapunzel tower, a soft, pink one with ivy vines wrapping around it and yellow flowers blossoming. My room would be on the top, right underneath the wide, slate covered, cone-shaped roof. The highest room in the tallest tower; just like Princess Fiona.

But there comes a time when you stop and realize; fairytales are stupid. Why can't the girls fight back? Why do all the men do all the fighting? Doesn't anyone in this story have a backbone? All these princesses have going for them (kind of, not really) looks and status. The twisted fairytales are the ones that I like.

Shrek for instance, the hero isn't a knight in shining armor. He's a green, violent ogre. The princess isn't some sissy who needs rescuing. She's a chick that can kick the hero's butt if she wanted to. The noble steed isn't a white horse with reins. It's an (smelly, apparently) awesome donkey. And the side-kick is none other than a pussy cat who cares about shoes more than Ino (well maybe not INO, but me for sure). Now THAT'S a good story. Not the ones I used to like when I was little and innocent (enough). So remember that, I hate fairytales.

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We were sitting by the campfire (Kira Misha's team, not Uchiha's, his was a little ways off) getting ready for sleep. I absent-mindedly tossed a few sticks into the fire. Asuka looked at me, I nodded.

"Mish, can you pass the marshmallows?" I asked, calling from the opposite side of the fire. The young Hatake shook her head dejectedly, removing her buns from her silvery hair (who wants to sleep with four buns in your hair?) and tossed one of her brother's Icha Icha Paradise books into the fire in a single, fluid motion.

"Sorry, Suigetsu still has them."

"1, 2, 3 NOT IT!!!" A chorus of voices arose, leaving a satisfied grin plastered on my face and a rather confused Sakura.

"Go get the marshmallows from teme's campsite!" I chirped, tossing out Naruto's nickname for the raven-haired teen. The now-annoyed Haruno stalked off, complaining about 'childish shinobi' and 'immaturity'. So EXCUSE ME for not wanting to end up like a . . .

LIKE A NEJI!!!

Because if all ninja were like Neji, when people were killed there wouldn't be anyone there to enjoy it. Now do you REALLY want to live in a world where people are killed by shinobi and there is nobody there to enjoy it? Now that would be a sucky world to live in. We would all be screwed. Get it? Neji? Screw? I know, I have sucky puns.

And adding on to the previous rant, the world would also be deprived of my awesomeness.

A voice came out of nowhere, Asuka jumped, some ninja she is . . .

"Credit card. Give. Now." Uchiha, right on cue.

And it's déjà vu.

"Apologize for ruining my fun, being a bastard and I just _might_ think about giving it back to you!" I held the credit card enticingly.

"No."

"Well you know . . . I could always spend it on sugar . . . Make the famous Uchiha go into debt . . . " I stood up and took a few cautious steps backwards.

"Sugar is bad for you and you'll gain weight."

"I'm a shinobi, I'd burn all the fat in morning training sessions."

"No."

"And I bet I could also convince _Karin _to rape-"

"I'm sorry." I motioned for Kira Misha to start videotaping.

"For what?" I pressed, acting like the mother I'm not.

"I'm sorry for ruining your fun."

"And???" I was enjoying this. Very much.

"Hn."

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that . . . "

Undecipherable mumbling.

"I'm sure Kari-"

"I'm sorry for ruining your fun and being a jerk."

"A _bastard_." I corrected. Naruto would be proud.

Uchiha clenched his fists and growled through gritting teeth. His Sharingan was activated.

"I'm sorry for being a _bastard_."

"No, not a bastard," I was trying really hard not to laugh. "Say you're sorry for being . . . " Oh geez, this is rich.

"For being a meanie head."

I heard Mish and Asuka laugh.

"You're kidding me."

"Nope, say it. Or you don't get your credit card."

"Even you have more class than that," Uchiha was biting his lip. I shook my head and crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry, what is this 'class' of which you speak?" I questioned, putting air quotes around 'class'.

"I'm . . . "

"Yes???"

"Sorry . . . for . . . being . . . a . . . oh fuck this!" He lunged at me.

"Olay!" I shouted, pretending the credit card was a little red rag.

"GIVE IT BACK!!!"

"Shhhh . . . Ryu's sleeping!" I hush him, stroking Ryu's feathers.

"Hn."

"Say it!"

"I'm sorry for being . . . a . . . me-an-ie . . . head."

I have degraded The Not-So-Great Uchiha He-who-shall-not-be-named into a begging, pathetic little dog. I'm so proud. Oh, I promised myself I wouldn't cry!

I nodded, satisfied. Sudden inspiration struck me.

"Now dance." I commanded. Asuka looked at me.

"I think his ego's been bruised enough." Asuka said. I ignored her.

"Dance! DANCE YOU FOOL!!!"

"Electra!" My so-called-best-friend said in her scolding voice.

"Fine . . . " My eyes wandered over to the bonfire "Set yourself on fire."

"ELECTRA!!!" I rolled my eyes at the girl beside me and sighed. If Asuka didn't like her best friend picking on her big brother, I'm sure she wouldn't like her big brother attempting to tackle her best friend to get his credit card back (again). So I was safe. For now.

"Lucky day, Uchiha, you get your credit card back," I said. With a flick of the wrist, his card was flying through the air like a shuriken. He caught it with his index and middle finger.

"Stop calling me 'Uchiha'. I have a name." I stuck out my tongue and raised my pinky finger the way fancy, old, British people do. Kira Misha gave an over-exaggerated gasp and placed her hand over her heart. The camcorder was still in the palm of her other hand.

"Electra! Don't you know that in Japan, that's how you _flip people off_!?!?!?" She drawled mockingly. This is fun. This is very fun.

"_Why Mish! I didn't know that AT ALL!!!_" I said with teasing innocence. I suddenly smirked. "Aw, who am I kidding!? OF COURSE I KNOW!!! Asuka taught me!" I proceeded to flip Uchiha off in Chinese, Italian, American etc.

Uchiha's eye twitched.

"I'll buy you a pound of candy."

"Three." I bargained.

"Two."

"Five!" He gave me an incredulous look.

"Four, take it or leave it."

"Sugary, no chocolate. Nothing nasty either, like those Good & Plenty stuff. Yuck!" I pretended to gag. I tried the little pills of pure evil at one of Yoshie's birthday parties. We spent half the time trying to see who could stomach the disgusting things best. I won.

I spit on my hand and stuck it out. Asuka looked at me weird. Sasuke's eye twitched again. I wiggled my fingers.

"I haven't got all night, _Uchiha_." Apparently, he didn't like being called by his last name too much. Sasuke glared at me.

"Evil little girl . . . "

"That's what they call me!" I flashed my movie-star smile. He spit on his hand and we shook. He jumped as soon as our hands made contact. I held up my hand and smiled.

"Joy buzzer! Gotcha!" I posed with my infamous peace sign. Kira Misha grinned and called out.

"Hey! That's my joy buzzer! And it's covered in your spit!"

"I know!"

-

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-

Uchiha was just leaving the campsite when Mish and Asuka gathered around my sleeping spot, making a protective little enclosure.

"So why _Sakura_ and _Sasuke_ of all the other people. That's the most unlikely couple to even happen! Even with your sure-to-ruin-their-lives matchmaking." Mish started. I shrugged.

"Remember when I said I hate fairytales?" The other two nodded slowly, and yes, they rarely know where I take things in a conversation.

"Sasuke with Tenten will throw the universe out of balance. Minor character with the bad boy, that just doesn't work."

"What makes nii-san a bad boy?" Asuka asked.

"He's a former traitor on probation," I answered simply.

"Anyways, Ino and Sasuke are so typically high school, and Sasuke can't STAND to be around her. Ino wouldn't really like him, he's just eye-candy to her." Mish nodded in agreement. I think I heard a small 'just like you' from the Jonin.

"Sasuke and Hinata . . . Hinata's too loyal in her affections towards Naruto, and I don't think they've ever exchanged more than two words in their entire lives. So forget them."

I sighed.

"Sasuke's not gay, because he's got to revive his clan, and he's not the type to go screw some random chick to have his babies, however much of a jerk he is. And I don't think he's willing to be involved in a long distance relationship." I ticked off all the reasons on my fingers.

"So that leaves Sakura. Unless all the girls in Konoha that are in our age range, are single, and isn't a fan girl are to be explained."

"Nah, stick to the shinobi, two ninjas always makes for a better romance story. Always." Asuka giggled, lying down on her stomach, her head propped up on her arms and her legs kicking back and forth. "Boy meets girl, girl gets in trouble, boy rescues girl."

I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"That's so fairytale-y. It's disgusting. Try 'boy meets girl, girl loves boy, boy doesn't love girl, boy leaves, girl cries, boy comes back, girl doesn't love boy, boy loves girl, girl slaps boy'. That's more twisted. Twisted is good, you don't want a red candy straw, you want twizzlers!" I nodded sagely with crossed arms.

"Cherry or original?" Mish asked.

"Cherry, Sakura is a cherry blossom. And besides all that, their history with each other, and I'd really like to see Sasuke get slapped." I smiled. "What I like about their relationship is that it's so unlike anyone else's. To be in love with a traitor, then when he comes back you have to smother your emotions. It's very interesting."

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . What?" I asked, tugging oh blades of grass out of being almost uncomfortable.

"You've been reading romance novels again, haven't you?" Asuka looked at me quizzically.

My eyes shifted away from her.

"No . . . Maaaaybe . . . " My head hung, "Yes . . . "

A rustle in the bushes.

Retreating footsteps.

Soft, approaching footfalls.

"Hey." Sakura tried to sound cheerful. She failed.

"You got the marshmallows?" I sat up straight, my tongue hanging out like a dog's.

"Yeah . . . " I transformed into said dog and grabbed the marshmallow bag from her hands.

"Geez, Suigetsu ate half the bag already!" Mish said, pouting.

Asuka reached for the bag and I barked, snapping my jaws at her unsuspecting hand.

"Crap! You bitch!" She said. Uchiha have bad/sucky puns too. I returned to my original state.

"You're a bitch for calling me a bitch, and your mom's a bitch for giving birth to a bitch and your dad's a bitch for screwing a bitch, so who's the bitch now, bitch?!" I retaliated.

"Bitches are dogs and dogs bark, bark is on trees and trees are a part of nature and nature is beautiful, so thank you for calling me beautiful!" Asuka shot back.

"If you're beautiful, you're more likely to get raped," I replied.

" . . . Ugh, I got nothin'." Woot, I dominated two Uchihas in less than ten minutes. Am I good or what?

"You guys are weird," Sakura crossed her arms and sat down, cross-legged.

"REALLY!?!? You just NOW NOTICE THAT!?!?!?" Mish said loudly. I poked her. She spazzed.

"I said it once, I'll say it again, you guys are weird."

-

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The annoying rays of sunlight woke me up early the next morning. The smoldering fire was nothing but a pile of gray ash and a swirling trail of rising smoke. I heard crumbling pebbles and a small rock rolled in front of my face.

I sat up and stretched my arms and adjusted my ponytail. It was Sasuke and Sakura. He smirked.

"Care to join us?" Their hands were interlocked.

I know, I rock. And not only that, but I'm also modest.

-

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"No way!!! You and Sakura!?! I never would have guessed, not in a million years that this would happen!!!" Asuka said with a mouthful of noodles. She had rummaged around in Sasuke's bag and found a whole stash of ramen noodles that Naruto shoved into Sasuke's bag.

"What's up!?" Suigetsu asked happily, joining our campsite.

"Sasuke and Sakura are an item now." Mish said nonchalantly, peeling her orange.

"You're kidding!" he exclaimed hitting Sasuke on the back, said raven-haired dude gave him his trademark glare. "Good job buddy! You got yourself a hot one!"

Sakura blushed and leaned more into her boyfriend, spooning some of Asuka's soup into her mouth.

"Just imagine how Naruto and the fan girls are going to FREAK!!" I laughed, rocking backwards.

"Who cares?! How did it happen, tell us everything!" Asuka's words inspired everyone to learn closer around the circle. In was silent besides the chirping of the bird on Jugo's shoulder.

"What happened?!" I sighed. Just when we were about to find out all the juicy secrets of their meeting (I betcha they're not virgins anymore, 'cause I'm perverted like that. And before Mish asks, I have in fact, been hanging out with perverts a lot lately. Because my life sucks like that) . . . stupid Karin. My gossip tank is running on empty too. My life is fucked up.

Everyone was quiet, I glared at the uninvited red-head and flashed my middle finger at her.

"Not a morning person?" Karin cooed. Ew, I have been scarred for life.

"At least I didn't forget to comb the other half of my hair," I sneered.

"Oooooh . . . " Suigetsu was just as immature as any other boy, which I appreciate, because Sasuke's a stick in the mud and Jugo's . . . well, Jugo.

"Bitch."

"Tsk, tsk, you shouldn't talk to yourself like that Karin, I hear it's bad for you."

"I WAS TALKING TO YOU!!!"

"It's okay, when we get back to Konoha, we'll get you to see Yoshie, she's a part-time psychologist. Kami-sama knows why you people want to stay sane. But I pity that girl, she did nothing to deserve meeting YOU," I stuck out my tongue.

The irritated girl stalked off into the woods. We heard a slipping of rocks, dust and a body, a scream and then scattering birds.

Asuka looked at me.

"Electra, what did you do?" I rolled my eyes.

"Y'know, not ALL the things bad that happen are of MY doing."

Silence.

Laughter.

"Puh-lease! Be reasonable Electra, of course it's all your fault!" Kira Misha chuckled.

"Sorry, reasonability is for old and sane people."

"And I hang out with you guys . . . why?" Sasuke raised a brow.

"'Cause we're one of the only girls in Konoha, or the five shinobi nations for that matter, who won't stomach squeal every time they see you?" Sakura suggested. He pulled her closer into his lap. His legs were crossed and hers were together, her knees to one side and her feet to the other.

"Cute." I deadpanned, throwing a muffin at them. "Fuck, I missed."

They were barely three meters away from me, how could I miss?

Answer: Because unless it is an object that is illegal in non-shinobi areas, my aim with throwable objects is horrible. I can throw a bulls-eye with a medium-sized shuriken from 50 meters away, but I can't throw a Frisbee within a 10-meter radius of my target when I am 20 meters away.

Yes, I am now sure that my hands were made for killing.

We never did find out what happened at their midnight meeting. Or whether or not they were still virgins. Or where Sasuke's engagement ring came-

Oh my freakin' god.

Sasuke's gonna propose to Sakura.

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Please stand by while the author spazzes like Kira Misha after a game of Poke-war.

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Ehem, thanks for waiting. I just realized how slow I really can be.

So, I spent my spazzing time thinking about what Sasuke's plan is going to be. This is what I have so far.

One year of casual dating.

One year of sucking up to her family (I've met her dad, he's a real tough cookie. Not even Naruto or I have been able to get his approval, even with our mad people skills).

One year of sucking up to her friends (Because even Ino still hasn't forgiven him for hurting her best friend the way he did. He didn't apologize for hurting her! That's just WRONG!!!)

And about 3, maybe 4 months of sitting with Naruto and the other guys wondering how he's going to propose to Sakura.

Finally, about 9 months of wedding planning. Or it's possible, a year or so. Hey, it's SAKURA and INO who will probably be planning. And then getting Tsunade to postpone some missions for the wedding and all that jazz, it's complicated. Therefore, I will probably avoid Sasuke, Sakura and Ino during the planning period. Doing otherwise is a death wish.

And I mean that literally.

Well maybe not literally, but pretty close.

-

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So I was walking, minding my own business when the person I wanted to see least decided to appear.

Karin.

"What do you want, bitch?" I growled, lowering my head and narrowing my eyes.

"Sasuke, I know you had something to do with Sasuke and the pink-haired slut."

"You're mistaken Karin, YOU'RE the only slut around here. Have you ever LOOKED in the mirror?" I looked up, knit my eyebrows together and put my finger to my chin. "Well I guess you haven't, I mean any sane person would scream their heads off after seeing YOU for the first time."

"You didn't scream."

"Okay, one, I'm not sane. Two, I was screaming on the inside," I said smartly.

I have pwned three people in a single chapter, man, I am good.

Karin threw a sorry excuse for a shuriken at me. Seriously, cardboard? Yeesh, and people call ME the stupid one.

I returned fire with a REAL shuriken, which cut through Karin's and embedded itself in the tree centimeters away from the red-head.

"What happened to my shuriken??"

"Well it had NOTHING to do with me." My sensei (Woot, go Mish, replacing her shuriken with cardboard? Genius.) appeared.

Sigh. I love my teammates. And NOT in that way.

The once again uninvited sorry-excuse for a kunoichi left, fuming. I high-fived Mish.

"Was it just me, or was her throwing skills worse than a blind snake's?" The silver-haired girl asked.

"No, blind snakes can't throw stuff. First, they're blind, so they can't see a weapon. Two, they're snakes, so they can't even pick up the shuri-" I was suddenly interrupted.

"Just say it wasn't me."

"It wasn't me."

"No, not literally."

"No, not literally."

"Electra, stop it."

"Electra, stop it."

"Don't make me give you an exercise that would exhaust even Bushy-brows."

"Don't make me give you an ex- oh . . . " I puckered my lips and turned away.

"Oh yeah, Electra?"

"What?" Oh, I knew where this was going.

"I just lost the game." We said in unison.

". . . "

". . . "

"Jinx."

-

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-

"Hey Sasuke! Sakura! How's it going!?"

"Oh it was going fine . . . and then you showed up." I hit Sasuke upside the head.

"What the hell was that for?! I didn't say that!" he almost shouted. I shrugged.

"I like Sakura, she's cool. But you're not exactly my favorite person. Nor are you my least favorite." I shrugged again "Well, either way, it's funnier watching a guy get hit than a girl."

"I hate you."

"You're my friend too, Sasu-chan!" I grinned. "So, tell me now, how did it happen?"

"What?"

"You two! What made you guys realize how much "you love each other" and "your undying love" and all that crap?"

"Umm . . . Well, we were walking . . . and then we talked . . . and we, yeah, and yeah," Sakura bit her bottom lip.

"I is no understand the complex language of thou mortals."

"What does that make you? Immortal?" Sasuke asked. Wow, an actual sentence.

"Yes."

" . . . "

" . . . "

"So what now?"

"I dunno."

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

"Awkward silence! A gay baby was born!" I shouted. The couple looked at me.

"Sorry, force of habit."

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**I ran out of ideas. Sorry.**

**Reviews? Anyone? Please? **


	36. Chapter 36

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to me!!! Woot, so, um…yeah…Christmas Special…

**Disclaimer: So, last chapter's disclaimer**

Chapter 36

Santa Doesn't Like Ninjas

"Merry Christmas everybody!" I cheered, lugging a sack full of presents.

"Merry Christmas, Santa, now go back to the North Pole and die in hell." I pouted and kicked Sasuke's shoulder.

"You're such a scrooge!" I shouted, waking everybody up.

"You're peppy."

"You're a bastard!"

"You're hyper."

"You're a self-absorbed, egotistical duck with a superiority complex!"

"You're a pink wearing ninja." Sakura gave her boyfriend a shove.

"You're a . . . . a . . . YOU'RE SUCH A SASUKE!!!" I screamed, scaring every bird in the proximity.

"A Sasuke? That's the best you can do?" Sasuke propped himself up on one arm and looked at me expectantly.

"That's the worst insult in my dictionary as of now."

"What's so bad about me?"

"You're a scrooge, a bastard, a self-absorbed egotistical duck with a superiority complex AND a inferiority complex, you knocked out the only girl who really cares about you and put her on a bench with nothing to remember you by, you're revenge crazed, you had to be DRAGGED back here, if Naruto didn't drag your sorry ass back, you'd still be stuck with a pedophile who's obsessed with getting your body, you tried to kill your best friend, you stole Asuka's chicken-butt look, walk around with a bare chest, causing several fan girls to screech and kill other people's eardrums, you put everyone in Konoha in endless suffering, you almost got Sakura killed and exiled when she went after you-"

"Sakura went after me?" Said pinkette looked away.

"Yes, she almost left her village so she could be with you! The best thing that ever happened to you was right in front of you, and you left her behind! It's a wonder she still even TALKS to you, let alone DATES you!"

Sasuke was silent. His sister walked up next to me.

"Anyways, before I was so RUDELY interrupted, you want to murder one of the only family members you have left, you put your friends down, let fan girls flirt with you instead of shooting them down like you did Sakura, and worst of all, YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME THE CANDY YOU OWE ME!!!"

"There goes my left eardrum," Asuka deadpanned, walking away.  
"Hang on! PRESENTS!!!" I cheered. "Here is some stuff from Kakashi-sensei!!!"

I handed out everything to the Konoha people. Because I am the only one mature enough to handle mature stuff like gift-giving.

"What'd he get you Sasuke?" He pulled out an orange rectangular object.

No.

Oh gosh, that perverted little idiot.

Well, big idiot, he's taller than I am.

He got Sasuke an Icha Icha Paradise book.

We just sat there, Kira Misha didn't even make a move to burn it.

Sakura slowly open her present from her sensei, discreetly scooting away from the Uchiha.

I've got to say, Sakura actually got a worse present than the person before her.

A pregnancy test.

And honestly, I would be a little peeved if a perverted ninja was speculating on my sex life. You would too.

Mish looked at the present from her older brother.

"I really would rather not look at my present."

A silent, but mutual agreement passed between the leaf-nin.

After many, many, many gift cards, checks, actual pieces of money and the occasional gift, I whipped out my set of presents.

"For all of you!" I passed them out with a grin plastered on my face.

Asuka eagerly opened her present.

"Aww!!! You got me duct tape!" She thanked me and was amused for the next few hours or so.

"Did you get me some cheap present too?" Kira Misha asked. I raised a single eyebrow and smirked.

"Depends on your definition of cheap." She opened it to find . . .

"Three sets of elastic bands? Wow, this is cheap."

"Well that shady guy on the bad side of town said that they were state of the art and was worth well over 10000 yen, so I got it for, you," I explained.

"Girl, you got ripped off."

"Shut up, I just now realize how stupid that sounded. And open your present." I prodded Sakura with my elbow. She carefully undid the bow (that wasn't even connected to the present, just made and taped on) and opened the box.

"A new medical kit? Wow, thanks, I'll add that to the other ten that people sent me." She said meaningfully.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that people would go . . . for the most obvious present . . . Sorry, my brain is not currently functioning properly at the moment."

"What brain?" Asuka said out of habit, trying to unstick the duct tape from her scarf. A really awesome looking scarf. FROM. SASUKE. Who knew he of all people would know what a really awesome scarf looked like?

Sasuke opened his present.

"A shirt?"

"That DOESN'T show your chest, therefore, I have just saved eighteen eardrums, I is a good per-" I burst into laughter. "I can't even say it . . . " I said between breaths, waving my hand as if there was something that smelled bad. *coughKARINcough*

For is not a good person.

-

-

-

After that, I went to the stockings I had set up. And I gasped.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cried.

"What's the problem this time?" Mish asked.

"The-th- pr-presents! Santa- Stocking…no- Santa- presents…stocking…Chili powder!!!" I stuttered.

"The presents are not there and Santa did not fill the stockings. No Santa came to put presents in our stockings and you didn't get the chili powder that you were going to put in Karin's eyes because the genius who said 'if they can't see you, you can't see them' inspired you to blind her?" Asuka knows me too well.

Therefore, she must be eliminated.

Bwaha ha ha.

I nodded rapidly and stuck my head inside my stocking.

"You believe in Santa Claus?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, DUH!!! Who do you think puts the presents in your stocking and eats the milk and cookies?" I retorted defensively.

"The parents."

"Tch, that's ridiculous. It's obviously a fat, old man with an unshaven beard, a red suit trimmed with white fluffies, nine reindeer, a sleigh, an army of elves that make toys and can travel the world in less than twelve hours! I suppose you don't believe in the tooth fairy either!"

"I don't."

Gasp.

"Sasuke! Don't ruin the dreams of innocent little girls!" Sakura scolded.

"I'm not THAT short . . . " I muttered. "And I'm not that innocent either . . . " I am The Mistress of Murder, The Madam of Massacre, The Champ of Killing, The Master of Homicide, Alien of Assassination (No, I'm not human. Deal with it). I'M innocent? I think not!

Well, anyways, aside from the non-believers and empty stockings, I was having a good Christmas.

Oh yeah, I think I'm going to go track down Santa and have a word with him.

I started to walk away from the camp with my things and Ryu when Suigetsu stopped me.

"We're going this way," He pointed in the opposite direction, to the south. I slapped him.  
"Ow! What was that for!?!?" He cradled his reddening cheek

"You go look for Itachi, and I'll go look for Santa Claus. Both Sasuke and I have to deal with our people."

"But Electra, we're supposed to baby-sit- I mean, escort Team Hebi!" Asuka exclaimed. Silence fell over the group. The raven-haired girl nudged her sensei.

"Oh yes. We must have every member of the group present while escorting." Kira Misha stated, haltingly and without feeling. Totally bored and unamused.

Karin snorted.

"Let her go look for Santa."

"Maybe we should help her," Jugo suggested.

"Yeah, and maybe after that we should all go and revive Orochimaru so he can murder us all." Karin snapped. She spun on her heel and started to walk away.  
"I don't hear you all following me!" She said haughtily.

"Yeah, let's go look for Santa." Sakura tugged Sasuke along by the sleeve. Because who would rather follow KARIN than me? No one. Unless you're a sane, non-ninja. So take that.

Suigetsu, Jugo and my fellow teammates followed me, leaving the red-haired bitch in the middle of the clearing.

"Hey!" She yelled.

She was answered with a middle finger.

She stomped her foot on the ground like people only do on TV.

"HEY!!! WAIT UP!!!"

-

-

-

"What's taking Sasuke so long?" Itachi asked.

Kisame shrugged as Zetsu materialized out of the ground.

"He's looking for Santa Claus."

" . . . "

" . . . "

"Wow Itachi, your brother is pathetic."

"And foolish. Just like waffles with mayonnaise." Weasel nodded sagely.

"Well, actually, waffles with mayo tastes really good, and it tastes awesome with human corpses," Sir Aloe Vera interjected.

"Really? Can I get your recipe?" Sharkboy asked.

"Oh yeah sure."

"Hang on, let me get a pen and paper."

Rustling.

"Nope, I left my stuff at our badass hideout. Do you have a pen I can borrow, Itachi?"

"Hn. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd witness two Akatsuki members exchanging recipes."

"You have a recipe you'd like to share?" Kisame asked.

" . . . Well, I have been working on this new onigiri recipe that I think you should try."

And THESE are the bad guys that everyone in the five great shinobi nations is scared of.

Man, we ARE pathetic.

-

-

-

MONTAGE ALERT!!!

-

-

-

"Are we there yet?" Asuka complained.

"Wait a minute . . . " I instructed, sticking a twig in the ground and measuring the shadow and all that jazz.

"According to the Magical Stick of Doom, we are currently . . . here . . . "

"We made it to the North Pole!?" Mish asked, bouncing hyperly.

"No, here," I said, pointing to a map that had magically appeared out of nowhere. We weren't even fifty meters away from square one.

"This trip is screwy."

-

-

-

"We're . . . Off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz! The Wiz, the Wiz, the Wiz, the Wiz, the wonderful wizard because. Because of the wonderful things he does!"

"Do-do-do-do-do do-do!"

"We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

"When will the torture end?"

"When we reach the North Pole, silly!"

-

-

-

"We're . . . off to see the mental! The mental institute! The mental, mental, mental, mental, mental . . . !!! Institute!!!"

"I thought we were going to the North Pole."

"We are, Red, so shut your trap."

-

-

-

"Well that was quick, it usually takes someone AT LEAST five montage scenes to reach somewhere far away." I pondered, stroking my fake goatee.

"Really? Wow, it's probably because we're ninjas, and we rock like that." Asuka reasoned.

"Yes, that's probably it."

We made it to the North Pole. And there was no giant workshop in sight.

"Oh." Sakura's mouth dropped.

"My." Sasuke's eyebrow raised.

"Gosh." Suigetsu's eyes were big, round, and white. What happened to his pupils and irises?

"I can't believe we walked all the way here for no freakin' rea-"  
I kicked Karin in the shins and grinned wildly.

"SANTA!!!" I screamed. Because, yes, a fat, old man with an unshaven beard, a red suit trimmed with white fluffies, nine reindeer, a sleigh, an army of elves that make toys and can travel the world in less than twelve hours stood before us in all his fat, old man with an unshaven beard, a red suit trimmed with white fluffies, nine reindeer, a sleigh, an army of elves that make toys and can travel the world in less than twelve hours-y glory.

"I told you he was real!" I taunted the sane peoples with the tone of a six-year-old who totally outwitted her teacher.

"Ho! Ho! Ho-" Why is he calling me a ho? That's just not nice. Think about the example he's setting for the children "-Hello Electra! I'm so proud you came all the way here! You know, you're one of the only people your age that still believes in me. And I'm sorry, but you're on the Naughty List for killing all those people!" He said in that oddly annoying, jolly voice.

"But Saaaaaaaantaaaa!!!" I whined. "It comes with being a ninja! I can't help it! That's my job! I have to live y'know!" He patted my head. I flipped him over my shoulder and placed my boot squarely on his fat, flabby belly.

"Ouch! That hurts!"

"IT SHOULD!!! YOU WILL GIVE ME MY PRESENT OR YOU WILL DIE!!!" I yelled.

"No Electra, you must let the red man go! For is Santa!" I reasoned with myself.

"I JUST LOST THE GAME!!!" I screamed.

"Angst . . . Angst . . . Angst . . . " I angested.

"-yawn- I'm tired . . ." I Shikamaru-ed.

"I feels likes DANCIN'!!!" I umm…I dunno, said.

"Sasuke-kun . . . what's happening to Electra-chan?" Sakura whimpered.

"Oh, she's having an Inner battle," Asuka explained.

"Row, row, row you boat, gently down the stream . . . " I hummed.

"THROW YOUR TEACHER OVERBOARD AND LISTEN TO THEM SCREAM!!!" Me.

"Another one?" Mish complained, massaging her temples.

"Yeah, that's why she's screaming like a maniac." Suigetsu took a generous swig of eggnog instead of the usual water.

"Doesn't she do that all the time already?" Jugo asked.

"Yeah, that just shows how many times she has Inner battles." Asuka clarified, because she knows me best.

"Umm . . . just how many Inners does she have?" Sasuke inquired.  
"Named and drawn? About thirty. In all? Too many to count."

"Oh. Shit."

"What is it NOW Karin?"

"I think Electra's about to kill Santa."

"Nah, she forgave him, she got her present."

"Is she really that selfish?" Sakura asked.

"Well DUH! That's why we beat up a fat, old man with an unshaven beard, a red suit trimmed with white fluffies, nine reindeer, a sleigh, an army of elves that make toys and can travel the world in less than twelve hours for a present. OH LOOK!!! CANDY!!!" I bounced excitedly.  
Asuka ran to the elves and instructed them clearly.

"Okay, lock your doors, turn off the lights, lock your windows, hide in the closet, take your cat with you for protection and don't forget the battery operated radio. Wait a few days until Electra has her sugar crash, then you can come out, but proceed with caution. If the air pressure in the cabin decreases for any reason, peanuts will pop out of nowhere and you will eat them. No, I don't care if you're allergic, you will eat them. And then you have to fold the blanket like this-"

"We got it, panic, right?" A young elf asked. His nametag said: Carl.

"Yes."

Screaming.

Panic.

Pandemonium.

Catastrophe.

Lollipops.

Jolly Ranchers.

Skittles.

Lemon heads.

Oh, this is the best Christmas ever!!!

-

-

-

"Can we go home now?" Sakura asked, yawning.

"Yeah! Transportation Jutsu!" I poofed away.

"Why didn't why just do that in the first place!?!?!?" Suigetsu complained.

"Because Christmas is about spending time with the ones you more or less love, oh yeah, and in our case, Karin. And the long walk here was good bonding time." I said as I poofed back.

" . . . "

" . . . "

"Y'know what? You're right!"

"I am? I mean . . . I am . . . ? Oh gosh . . . I was right . . . Wait, what am I right about?"

"We all do more or less love everyone here except Karin." Suigetsu agreed.

Well, not to be rude or anything . . . BUT DUH!!!

I handed out Santa hats and teleported away.

I loves my presents.

.

-

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BONUS!!!

CHRISTMAS CAROLING!!!

-

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-

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

A Ryu on a green Lee!

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Two ninjas in love! (coughSASUSAKUcough)

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Four Naruto nerds!

Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!

Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!

Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!

Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Eight bills Tsunade's bilking!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!  
Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Nine ANBU advancing!

Eight bills Tsunade's bilking!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!  
Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Ten Naras a-sleeping

Nine ANBU advancing!

Eight bills Tsunade's bilking!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!  
Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Eleven medics blood typing!

Ten Naras a-sleeping!

Nine ANBU advancing!

Eight bills Tsunade's bilking!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!  
Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me!

Twelve shinobi succumbing!

Eleven medics blood typing!

Ten Naras a-sleeping!

Nine ANBU advancing!

Eight bills Tsunade's bilking!

Seven Swordsmen a-swimming!

Six genin a-playing!

FIVE LETHAL RINGS!!!

Four Naruto nerds!  
Three thousand yen!

Two ninjas in love!

And a Ryu on a green Lee!

AND A RYUUUU . . . ON A GREEN . . . LEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

-

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Want another one? Of course you do!

-

-

-

You know . . . Neji and Tenten and Sai and Shino . . .

Hina and Shika and Saku and Ino . . . But do you recall? The most famous ninja of all?

Sasuke, the red eyed ninja, had very shiny eyes!

And if you ever saw it, you would even say it shines! (like a paper bomb!)  
All of the other ninja  
used to laugh and call him names (like Hot Stuff!)  
They never let poor Sasuke  
join in any ninja games (like assassination!)  
Then one foggy Christmas eve  
Tsunade came to say: (HEY!!! UCHIHA!!!)  
"Sasuke with your eyes so bright,  
won't you kill Danzo tonight?"  
Then how ninja loved him  
as they shouted out with glee, (KILL!!! KILL!!!)  
Sasuke the red eyed ninja,  
you'll go down in history (like Sarutobi-san!)  
YOU'LL GO DOWN IN HIS-TOR-YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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-

Should I do another one? Yeah, I guess I shouldn't.

But doesn't mean I won't!

(but it doesn't mean I will either)

-

-

-

I wish you a Merry Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas and your heart run through with a spear!

**Reviews encourage me to write!**


	37. Chapter 37

**I've been working on it for the past two months, and I haven't gotten as far as I'd like. –sigh- oh well. Uh . . . So I guess from now on, I'll do one-shot requests, and I'm going to start another fanfic soon titled 'Suicidal'. I feel like writing angst, but I'm not too sure I'll be good at it. Well, onto the story. Y'know, after the disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer: It is here, therefore, further typing is not required.**

Chapter 37

Of Bitches, Weasels and Burnt Food  
From the (genius?) mind of Electra Vesuvin/Featuring  
The return of Yoshiro Sakura (everyone loves that psychotic neko, seriously)  
ITACHI!!! (Is he good or bad? Will he live or die?)  
The return of giant pieces of food randomly popping out (Which signals the return of Yoshie)  
The return of me, because I haven't been updating recently. (Woot?)

"Who was the freakin' genius who decided to burn all the food?" I asked, very miffed.

" . . . "

"Who was it?" I raised my voice; no one wanted to face my wrath.

"Sasuke?" The shinobi flinched, a small, barely noticeable movement that you could only detect if you were a ninja who was looking for it.

"Hn."

"Sakura?"

"N-no . . ."

"Jugo?" The big man merely shrugged, unfazed by my anger.

"Karin?" I turned my gaze on the redhead who needed to be slapped.

"Uh, um, n-no . . . " She stuttered, recoiling and diverting her eyes.

"LIAR!!!" I shouted, throwing the burnt pack and the food in it at her face. I pointed at her. "YOU BURNT ALL OF OUR FOOD! WE'LL HAVE TO HUNT FOR OUR FOOD NOW!!!"

"S-So? It's not THAT much of a problem . . . "

"Well actually," Kira Misha started. "Hunting, skinning and cooking the meat will take lots of time off of our travel time. Time that we should use looking for Itachi." This was said pointedly. And on hearing about Itachi, Sasuke's cold glare turned on the girl who was about to be given a time out.

"Are you freakin' serious?" She blurted when I told her this. Karin looked at Sasuke, Suigetsu, anyone who would help her. Nothing. The Uchiha's hard stare forced her to face a tree and serve her time out. Oh yeah, I am _badass._ I bet you're jealous that you can't come up with a better, more demeaning punishment.

"I thought it was Suigetsu's stuff, I was getting back at-"

"Time out! TO THE TREE!!!"

_**'Tis here there'd be a time skip of when I go out hunting because some people like burning food . . . Hey, remember me?**_

"I'm wasting all my not-so-shiny-anymore, not-so-sharp-anymore weapons on flipping animals just so I can flipping eat!" I shouted, frustrated, slashing a rabbit and scaring off any other prey.

And then, I saw a shining beacon of light.

In a clearing.

And there was a . . . you guessed it, giant slice of pie. No, not pie. _Cherry_ pie. And we all know who's somewhere around a general area when giant pieces of food randomly appear out of nowhere.

A arrow shot an unsuspected squirrel straight into the ear, leaving the furry, innocent, about to be eaten rodent dead. Not necessarily by the arrow, but by shock and fear. I faintly heard the quivering string of an arrow and looked up to see who was standing on the pie.

Yoshiro Sakura

Forget the rabbit and squirrel I caught while on hunting duty. We're eating a freaking _Giant Cherry Pie _that is worthy of _italics_ and Proper Noun status.

Well, maybe not Karin, I'm sure she can skin and cook the game herself. After all, 'It's not THAT much of a problem'.

_**'Tis here there'd be a time skip in when Yoshie and I return to the campsite . . . Miss me? Not even a little bit?**_

Yoshie and I came back to the abandoned campsite and I couldn't help but think:

"Frick, they ditched me."

Or rather say out loud. A single note was clutched between Ryu's talons, who was left at the campsite in order to receive or deliver a message via mind connection in case the camp or I were attacked. But I guess there was bad reception in the area because instead of calling me with our weird spirit thing, he was left with a note.

From Asuka.

_Found Itachi. Gone to kill him._

_-Asuka_

"Shoot! We've got to go, NOW!" She pulled me along and summoned Ashi, her usually not-here companion.

"Ashi, track!" She commanded.

"Stop treating me like I'm some stupid animal. I'm an Animal for Pete's sake," Ashi complained, making what I think is a reference to Wicked (Which still tops my favorite book list) and the animal/Animal thing.

"Ryu, take to the air and see if you can find them!" I told my companion, who was a mute Animal. I think. Hmmm . . . I'll have to ask him later, not that I can understand a darn word my own fridgin' companion says, which I can, thank you very much.

He cawed, or whatever you call the word for what peregrine falcons do, in obedient response.

I tossed my backpack and carry-on-s to Yoshie, who caught them, used to being the pack mule, and transformed into an Otterhound.

I was tracking Itachi, Itachi is a weasel, weasels are basically land otters . . . see the connection? Yeah, you see, therefore you cannot argue with my choice of dog. I sound like I'm going to eat a dog, not transform into one. I'm a freaking girl version of Beast Boy, I just noticed that. But I'm a whole lot awesomer than him.

I caught a slight whiff of Asuka and Sakura's shampoo. My sensitive nose searched out the trail and sticks crunched under my hardened paw pads. Yoshie didn't need to transform (she couldn't as far as I'm concerned. Oh gosh, maybe she was a shape-shifter like me and mid-way through a transformation she got stuck. That would SUCK if that happened to me) so she was sniffing the air and trees, in case they had decided to move via forest.

"I found the direct trail!" Yoshie gestured for me to follow. I found it too – it was a bit fresh, but fading, they'd been gone for an hour or so. Since there were only two of us – four if you count Ashi and Ryu – we were able to cover more ground. And since we were partially trained by Orochimaru, we were fast. Really fast. I'm talking Olympic-runners-think-we're-fast fast.

In less than thirty minutes, we reached most of the group.

Sasuke was gone and Suigetsu was facing off with blue face Kisame.

I don't recall meeting him, but when you see an image of the guy, it kind of sticks, y'know?

After all, he's BLUE.

It occurs to me that Itachi is really the only normal one . . .

What?! You don't believe me!?

Ahem . . .

Deidara. He has mouths in un-mouthly areas

Kisame. He's blue (you know that song? I'm blue da-bu-de da-bu-di da-bu-de da-bu-di) and a shark

Sasori. Puppet.

Zetsu. Aloe Vera. Venus Flytrap. Plant. Ying Yang. Bipolar (like me!).

Kakuzu. Thread things and mutiple hearts. Mr. Krabs syndrome (MONEY!!!).

Hidan. Grim Reaper wannabe with a potty mouth.

Mysterious Leader Person. Mysterious Leader Person.

Mysterious Leader Person's assistant. Mysterious Leader Person's assistant

Tobi. Non-Sasuke-ish and very Naruto-ish with an odd mask. Who KNOWS what's under there? Maybe he's partly mutant, or he's freakishly misshapen due to some unfortunate birth defect. Or he's an ALIEN that came to earth to study the inhabitants so it's easier to destroy us all in 2012!!!

Okay, I admit I went a little far with that one.

Ahem, anyways . . .

"Yoshie?" Sakura started at the sight of the neko.

"No time to explain! We have to go. NOW!" Sakura came after us, as well as the others, but were stopped when Kisame blocked them. He seemed irked that we got past him and were headed toward Itachi.

"Where's Asuka!?" I half shouted, breathing hard from running.

"Kisame let her pass through with Sasuke to fight Itachi, why?"

"I can't say right now, we have to kick it into high gear!" Yoshie answered. We ran as hard as we could, so hard that I was unable to transform, I couldn't focus my chakra as well. I just hoped there wasn't an ambush I wouldn't be able to fight off.

-

-

-

Earlier that same day . . .

-

-

-

"Itachi."

That one word stirred everyone, EVERYONE.

Suigetsu's water bottle stopped midway to his mouth and Asuka and Sasuke tensed almost immediately. Karin kind of panicked, but when Sasuke glanced at her, she tried to recover. Jugo's eyes narrowed in the slightest and Sakura looked at Kira Misha, as if to check to see if what she just said was correct.

"Let's go," Sasuke instructed, pulling his sister up by the wrist. She smiled and twisted sort of smile and challenged him.

"Last one to kill Itachi is a rotten egg." She took off without another word. Sasuke quickly caught up and Asuka said between breaths

"It's a race now, whoever can kill Itachi first."

The girl Uchiha took off, using so much chakra to make her faster that Sasuke could feel it against his legs as he raced after his sister, slowly catching up.

"I'll humor you. Whoever wins gets to choose some type of torture for the other person."

"You're on."

They both stopped suddenly, Sharingan spinning, scanning.

There.

They changed course and took to the trees.

Soon, they reached a room with a throne in it.

Itachi.

"Sasuke, Asuka, you're early," Their older brother taunted.

"Damn straight we are," Asuka snarled viciously, crouching down, muscles ready, ready to pounce.

"Now, now Suki-chan, watch your language. Okaa-san wouldn't be very happy with you," Itachi sneered.

"FUCK YOU!!! SHE'D CARE IF YOU HADN'T KILLED HER!!!" She screamed, lunging on him with her long sword drawn.

The sword plunged into his chest and Asuka's eyes were angry red and narrowed, losing all sense of control and turning to her primitive instincts.

"It's not you that I want, Asuka," Itachi's genjutsu swirled around her, even with her Sharingan, she was too blind to see it was an illusion. But seriously!? She wasn't important enough to be worth his time in the fight? What a bastard! "I want Sasuke's eyes."

That stopped Asuka in her tracks. She didn't need Sasuke to tell her to calm down, because in that instant of momentary confusion, her common sense came back to her. The girl Uchiha's posture relaxed and her doujutsu focused on her older brother.

Sasuke's lightning consumed Kusanagi pierced another Itachi through his stone throne and into his chest, missing his heart on purpose.

"Who is it?"

"What?"

"The third Uchiha survivor." Only Asuka really looked surprised, she had no idea. She straightened and walked towards them slowly.

"You don't have the Mangekyou Sharingan yet."

"I DO!!!" Asuka yelled.

"Then use your Mangekyou Sharingan on me. Or am I too strong for you?" Sasuke said.

"Hellooooo, I'm still here!"

"Confident, now aren't you?" Itachi smirked.

"Did you guys write a script and I'm not in the play?"

Zetsu's face poked out of the wall, watching the 3 siblings stand silently. They were all fighting with only genjutsu, well, except Asuka. The other two were ignoring her. And Asuka Uchiha does NOT appreciate being ignored.

"The Mangekyou . . . like all great jutsus, have its risks."

"The moment you get it, your sight starts to fail. The more you use it, the faster it loses it's light."

Sasuke looked at Asuka. He never noticed that she had worn contacts until now. He saw her eyes narrow as she received that bit of info.

"Let's end this."

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**Short-ish, I know. Get over it. I'm working on a different non-fanfiction story at the moment, so my humor is being wasted on that. And contrary to common belief, I actually have a life now. Kind of. Therefore, slower updates, less humor, and a possible plot. Gasp.**

**Okay, question. I know this is a long story and only people who are really dedicated or that bored have gotten this far to be able to read what you are reading RIGHT NOW. So, should I kill Electra (NOOO!!! I IS IMMORTAL!!!) and just end the story, or attempt to continue? And well, there ARE other ways to end the story other than killing Electra (DON'T DO IT!!!).**


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